I fell asleep at the wheel and almost killed myself Friday night...no license or insurance - page 3

glad you're still alive.

Hopefully you have called work requesting a leave of absence and book some time at a rehab facility.

You said this was your sister's car.

Does she not have insurance on it?

nah, it ain't bad at all...I don't drink everyday or close to that...grew up with bottles all around, so I don't indulge like that...the problem is going out and when I do indulge...I love socializing and alcohol just makes it much easier for me...and I loved going to bars...at times I'll just quit it for a month and change...usually around the new years detox and don't start again until superbowl party...I am going to seek professional help tho, so good looking. The reason I didn't have my license back yet was because I didn't wanna pay to go to those classes for the DWI...guess I was denying I had a problem with the drinking/going out and driving....but stopping cold turkey is something I habitually do, which is what gives me the confidence that my will power will pull through. I'm a pretty stubborn person...most times that's a disadvantage, but it helps when I make my mind up to not do something...i'm almost always gonna follow through. The difference now is that I'm saying 'forever' instead of something manageable like 'a month or two'...so u probably right that I still need guidance through this...I think i'll go to those classes after all. I just didn't want to hear about the sob stories and how fu#ked up and deep some alcoholics go...but maybe that's exactly what i need to hear.

Wish it did take ya bi#chass out

yet you guys and messy marv. laugh and wish death on me. for spitting the truth about sh1t.

and clown me for my addiction. and trying to lock up my refrigerator. to beat my junk food addiction.


and by fasting for 24 to 72 hours.

hiding the fast food and froze food in the deep freezer. so it will be frozen and i do not own a microwave so it would take 40 minutes ot fully cooked in the oven.

and it takes me about 5 to 10 minutes ot get all the tape,rope,strap off the mini freezer with the junk food in it. and main refrators.

LET THIS BE LESSON. BECAREFUL WHOYOU WISH DEATH ON. AND CLOWN ON THERE WAYS OF BEATING THERE ADDICTION.

BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT BE IN MY POSITION.

Sheesh. Luckily you were solo because if you had a passenger, they probably would’ve died. Hopefully you do better OP.. is your sister beefin? I know I would be..

“It’s not the alcohol that’s the problem, it’s the drinking while driving”


Sure sign of an alcoholic, and it takes one to know one (almost 5 years sober here).

I remember i sold my whip to stop me drinking and driving - instead of just giving up alcohol.

I did it the old school way - AA meetings. When you are surrounded by alcohol (for me friends work family etc all big drinkers) you need a support network and tbh a real program for recovery.

Since I gave up:

I got married, had a kid, have another on the way, earning north of 7 figures consistently every year (when i sold my whip i ended up that year with nothing in the bank at all - all went on drinking) and that was about 10 years ago. I have big ups and big downs in life but now i handle them like a father, husband, and man rather than turning to the bottle.

It’s life changing.

If any drug did as much damage as booze has to damn near the entire population - it'd be illegal AF in no time. My boy flipped his car on benzos and dope and everyone acted like he was a crackhead even tho he got clean.. but I know people with multiple booze DUI's that are still viewed as normal people.

Nothing against OP. I hope you leave that sh1t behind you and take this as your rock bottom. The only thing that can come from chancing this kinda sh1t again is death, jail or the combo of both where you have to live with taking another persons life from drunk driving.

Your body, mind and bank will thank you for getting away from alcohol. Live longer, smarter and more in control.

You’re a dumbass OP and clearly a narcissist

Also, would add. I wasn’t a daily drinker and i didnt even keep alcohol at home.

My social drinking was full on binging that led to situations like yours - start on Friday and it would be sunday am and id be rolling out of some joint, usually ended up in stripclubs cos they served alcohol latest.

So i went back and forth whether I should post this, because inevitably i'm gonna have degenerates, either now or later saying i should've died...u know, over difference of opinions on the internet...but hopefully it serves as a cautionary tale...apologies in advance for the length...but gotta vent somewhere. I've been ashamed to talk about it with my family in detail...haven't told friends...i'm the 'responsible' one...but they know when it comes to the drinks, i'm not.

Pulled an all nighter on Thursday night for work...Friday comes, I finish up about 4pm...then went to the range, drank there...went to Applebees...drank there...then 2 places after that before the night was done...yes, I have a problem.

I don't get drunk at home for dolo, but when I go out, I love drinking while socializing and over the last 5 or 6 years, to say I've had SEVERAL signs that I should cut it out, would be an understatement (from like 5 lost cell phones, to getting robbed because i was drunk and lacking). Come from a family who loves their alcohol, but have no 'drunks'--all fully functional and successful...my mama was putting that sh1t in my baby formula (as they oft do in Jamaica), but i'm a grown man and bare 100% responsibility. I caught a DWI a few years ago and still don't have my license back...in the process of switching employers and don't have insurance--in fact I was on cloud 9 Friday because of how well I smashed my interviews and how productive I was in getting my job done earlier in the day.

Recently I've had even more signs and felt something bad was coming and told myself I'm not gonna have drinks while i'm driving anymore...I been getting away lucky...just over the last month...won't get into those details, but 4/5 different times have been lucky cops weren't around or I didn't hurt myself or anyone else...I've also been going through my personal spiritual breakthrough and saw signs of that too...real good signs, which further made me keep telling myself that I have to chill and the universe only gives u so many chances...good n1gga or not. So even more i'm like, yo...u gotta chill. As I was going to the range and I took a to go cup from my home, forgetting I said i'd never do that again, just the week before because of one of those 4/5 incidents...I looked to the sky, apologized to the universe...and went ahead with it anyway, which almost proved to be the start of my ending. Universe did not feel me, on that very conscious slight that I offended it with.

I leave hanging out with my sister and her man at the last spot at like 3 am...I guess I stayed till the end...don't remember honestly...only thing I remembered was going to mcdonalds because at this point I haven't eaten in 15 hrs and hadn't slept over 48 hrs...next thing I know, it's 7am Saturday...and I wake to see the airbag and the whip glued to the side of a parked school bus...I have no memory of what happened in the 4 hrs...can't tell if I slept in the whip at mcdonalds and started to drive again or even worse, been driving around BK for 3 hours, aimlessly and in a daze...

By the time the ambulance and cops get there and because this was hours after drinking, I had no alcohol on my breath...I told them about the all nighter...got a Black cop...cool brotha...gave me a summons...no dwi...but of course I'm gonna face the consequences for driving without a license...fu#ked up my sister's whip, as u can see...and amazingly...no, miraculously, walked away with not a single cut nor feel no pains...didn't have to go to the doctor's...and remember, no insurance. In the ambulance, when they were checking me, it finally hit me how bad this could be, and ain't gonna front, when I told them...'I could've hit a kid or killed someone'...I started crying like a bi#ch.

I've been reflecting all weekend about how lucky I was. Universe telling me it's now or never...and I don't want to make any promises, but I'm a strong-willed person, and for right now, I've given up the juice...it's been quite a ride...and I come home and it's all around me...almost all of my friends drink and that's where we'd meet up. It's gonna be hard...all inclusive vacations, gonna be hard...but I'm ready. I know it's not the alcohol that's the problem...it's drinking while driving...but nah, alcohol has caused other negative effects in my life and I been knew I was gonna stop and just stick to my weed, which was never a root cause to any problems I had, but I didn't think it would happen so 'soon' at 40...

The way it all played out, I'd be spitting in the face of the universe after I slapped it in the face...and it punched me back in the gut to check myself...I don't want it to knock me out next time...so I'm done...there are several bottles at my family's crib that i'm sitting at right now and I can't say i'm tempted...I look at them with disdain...I know that's natural right after the traumatic event and that feeling can wear off, but I believe I'll remain strong...I don't have control of my mind and decision making after a certain point of drinking...and it has been truly scary. This ain't me telling y'all to cut anything out...everyone knows their vices and how it affects them...it's just me finally learning my lesson and thankful for being alive, and not a facing manslaughter case right now...whole life would've been fu#ked in the blink of an eye...

I listened to this song (one of my favorites on the album), several times this weekend...and cried every single time, especially at the quoted part...so happy to be born again...

So i went back and forth whether I should post this, because inevitably i'm gonna have degenerates, either now or later saying i should've died...u know, over difference of opinions on the internet...but hopefully it serves as a cautionary tale...apologies in advance for the length...but gotta vent somewhere. I've been ashamed to talk about it with my family in detail...haven't told friends...i'm the 'responsible' one...but they know when it comes to the drinks, i'm not.

[see photo]

Pulled an all nighter on Thursday night for work...Friday comes, I finish up about 4pm...then went to the range, drank there...went to Applebees...drank there...then 2 places after that before the night was done...yes, I have a problem.

I don't get drunk at home for dolo, but when I go out, I love drinking while socializing and over the last 5 or 6 years, to say I've had SEVERAL signs that I should cut it out, would be an understatement (from like 5 lost cell phones, to getting robbed because i was drunk and lacking). Come from a family who loves their alcohol, but have no 'drunks'--all fully functional and successful...my mama was putting that sh1t in my baby formula (as they oft do in Jamaica), but i'm a grown man and bare 100% responsibility. I caught a DWI a few years ago and still don't have my license back...in the process of switching employers and don't have insurance--in fact I was on cloud 9 Friday because of how well I smashed my interviews and how productive I was in getting my job done earlier in the day.

Recently I've had even more signs and felt something bad was coming and told myself I'm not gonna have drinks while i'm driving anymore...I been getting away lucky...just over the last month...won't get into those details, but 4/5 different times have been lucky cops weren't around or I didn't hurt myself or anyone else...I've also been going through my personal spiritual breakthrough and saw signs of that too...real good signs, which further made me keep telling myself that I have to chill and the universe only gives u so many chances...good n1gga or not. So even more i'm like, yo...u gotta chill. As I was going to the range and I took a to go cup from my home, forgetting I said i'd never do that again, just the week before because of one of those 4/5 incidents...I looked to the sky, apologized to the universe...and went ahead with it anyway, which almost proved to be the start of my ending. Universe did not feel me, on that very conscious slight that I offended it with.

I leave hanging out with my sister and her man at the last spot at like 3 am...I guess I stayed till the end...don't remember honestly...only thing I remembered was going to mcdonalds because at this point I haven't eaten in 15 hrs and hadn't slept over 48 hrs...next thing I know, it's 7am Saturday...and I wake to see the airbag and the whip glued to the side of a parked school bus...I have no memory of what happened in the 4 hrs...can't tell if I slept in the whip at mcdonalds and started to drive again or even worse, been driving around BK for 3 hours, aimlessly and in a daze...

By the time the ambulance and cops get there and because this was hours after drinking, I had no alcohol on my breath...I told them about the all nighter...got a Black cop...cool brotha...gave me a summons...no dwi...but of course I'm gonna face the consequences for driving without a license...fu#ked up my sister's whip, as u can see...and amazingly...no, miraculously, walked away with not a single cut nor feel no pains...didn't have to go to the doctor's...and remember, no insurance. In the ambulance, when they were checking me, it finally hit me how bad this could be, and ain't gonna front, when I told them...'I could've hit a kid or killed someone'...I started crying like a bi#ch.

I've been reflecting all weekend about how lucky I was. Universe telling me it's now or never...and I don't want to make any promises, but I'm a strong-willed person, and for right now, I've given up the juice...it's been quite a ride...and I come home and it's all around me...almost all of my friends drink and that's where we'd meet up. It's gonna be hard...all inclusive vacations, gonna be hard...but I'm ready. I know it's not the alcohol that's the problem...it's drinking while driving...but nah, alcohol has caused other negative effects in my life and I been knew I was gonna stop and just stick to my weed, which was never a root cause to any problems I had, but I didn't think it would happen so 'soon' at 40...

The way it all played out, I'd be spitting in the face of the universe after I slapped it in the face...and it punched me back in the gut to check myself...I don't want it to knock me out next time...so I'm done...there are several bottles at my family's crib that i'm sitting at right now and I can't say i'm tempted...I look at them with disdain...I know that's natural right after the traumatic event and that feeling can wear off, but I believe I'll remain strong...I don't have control of my mind and decision making after a certain point of drinking...and it has been truly scary. This ain't me telling y'all to cut anything out...everyone knows their vices and how it affects them...it's just me finally learning my lesson and thankful for being alive, and not a facing manslaughter case right now...whole life would've been fu#ked in the blink of an eye...

I listened to this song (one of my favorites on the album), several times this weekend...and cried every single time, especially at the quoted part...so happy to be born again...

and also in denial about being an alcoholic.

Wow Thank you for sharing. It's gonna be tough to get over this, but you live to tell. Don't be so, so HARD on yourself brother. Your alive and get to move on and continue in this life. Alot of us have been there and it's tough.

It seems like your ready for a change and to better your life. Don't let this opportunity pass you by and get real help that will heal you. This is gonna be a very deep journey for you that you have to search from within to find the answers.

Don't be afraid to get help man, we all need help and need one another.

Love brother, It coulda been much worse. God loves you, I'm happy your here to tell your story and help others.

Besides all of that, I'm curious as to if you suffered any injuries?