| 10 years ago||
Nov 8 - RON ARTEST SELLS 1 ALBUM.......Soundscan
Trick or treat, n*ggas. Last Halloween was a historic day for hip-hop. No, we didnít get the release of the long-awaited second album from Clipse (some magazine said itís a classic, you bastards). Instead we got a grab bag of diverse rhyme slayers with many styles, many styles. Britneyís ex went head up with Chuck Dís hypeman, but they werenít the only ones duking it out in the ten or twelve record stores (The Tower of power is no more, kids) that still exist.
Yes, itís Wed., so the results of last weekís releases are in. Allow me to give you the results as YN Presents His First Annual Coaster Countdown. (Naysayers take note: I never actually sat and listened to any of this crap below. Life is precious and time wonít give me time. Word to the Boy called George.)
10: Ron Artest My World
One? Howíd you only sell one CD especially when millions of people seen you beatdown some crackers at a basketball game. Maybe people weíre too shook to cop the QBís soldierís debut. Hell, who even knew it was out? Anyway, Ronís my dude and I think you SoundScan suckers are scamming us. Election day was yesterday but my n*gga still deserves a recount.
9: Channel Live Street Science Rap
KRSís former castaways are still out there grindiní? Who knew? I used to live in Brooklyn and running into Hakim on the street is any music industry fu*kís rite of passage. I thought homeboy was doiní videos with Benny Boom. Again, 20 units? Thatís disrespectful. Keep ya head up fellas, according to this spot, your sh*t is sold out. Ha!
8: Celly Cel Brings the Gumbo Pot
This Bay Area rap vet is wearing a lot of red on his cover and I donít want no problems. Moving onÖ
7: Lil Romeo Greatest Hits
Can you believe this little tyke has 4 LPs under his belt (Take that, Mr. Budden). Might make a nice stocking stuffer for the shorties this holiday season.
6: Juggaknots Use Your Confusion
This is some underground sh*t, so who knows how many albums were even pressed? I havenít thought about these guys since I used to write the underground column I created in The Source.
5: CL Smooth American Me
Life after Pete Rock? Not that good, apparently.
4: Ice-T Gangsta Rap
Even pimpiní his new lady out Darlene-style couldnít save the day for the rap Hall-of-Famer.
3: Cee-Lo The Closet Freak: The Best of Cee-Lo Green The Soul Machine
Looks like some greedy label wants a piece of that Dangermouse poontang pie.
2: Flavor Flav Flavor Flav
I remember back in the early 90ís when we were actually fiendiní for a taste of the Flavor on the solo tip. Itís obvious here that Flav has tried to parlay his new TV fame to resurrect his music career and failed miserably. Might be time to holla at VH1 to talk about Season 3, playboy.
1: Kevin Federline Playing With Fire
Let me get this straight: dude gets his album out, becomes a wrestler and then decides itís time to kick his rich white bi*ch to the curb. Wow, thatís gangsta! All I know is dudeís bars are so elementary, we struggled to find the right one to be crowned Step Your Rap Game Upís worst of í06. Congrats, K-Fed!
[pic - click to view] http://xxlmag.com/online/?p=6026