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Favorite Dave Chappelle Quote


 


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 10 years ago '05        #151
THEINFAMOUS 21 heat pts21
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 obnoxious2m said
it was from the mad real world when they were working at that juice bar and he tells dood to bring him back a "banana cognac" hahaha...
Same shyt i was about to put;

"Well sell me some juice bytch I'm thirsty"
"Bring me a Philly blunt son"

".....And a Banana Cognac be-yotch"

 10 years ago '07        #152
Playa 70 heat pts70
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"Doodly doodly doodly doo"

int eh black sheep pants

 10 years ago '06        #153
Manny05 1 heat pts
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 tcap said
Last episode Season 2
Black Bush
If I can be real
Be real son..
Be real real
Tried to k!ll my father,,I dont play that sh*t
Tell them say word they tried to k!ll your father,,
THE n*gga TRIED TO k!ll MY FATHER!!

Right this down, M A R S,,mars bi*ches
 Sylent Khaos said
"
And we can't sleep on his two hit songs:

R Kelly (Piss on You [Remix] Lyrics)

" (spoken)
Normally I don't do this
But I'ma hit ya'll off with a little taste of the remix
Ya'll ready? Here we go

(sung)
I pick you up from the club
Take you home to make some love
Got a surprise, close your eyes
I'm gonna cover you with suds
(instrumental breakdown)
I'ma give you some poo-poo
I'ma give you some pee-pee
I'ma give you some doo-doo
Wash it down with some wee-wee
This is the remix edition of the song about pissin'
I got that peein', leakin', freakin' and there's juice in the kitchen

(spoken)
That's how it goes at a R Kelly party
I sip Cris..........you drink piss
I want to p!ss on you remix, ya heard?
You know I'm serious
I really do want to p!ss on you
"
For What it's worth
White Guy:You want some apple juice
Black Guy: n*gga what the fu*k is JUICE
Black Guy:I want that grape drink baby
 SMallz said
heres a couple of my favorites...

"Remember that commercial where all the kids run in from outside playin and they all run to the fridge...and the kids like okay we got some purple stuff, sunny delight and as soon as he says sunny delight all the kids go yaaaayyyyy....watch the black kid in the back, if u ever watch that commercial watch the black kid in the back, he be like.....i want that purple stuff" Dave Chapelle.

"Kobe is one of the few black celebrities that get the benefit of the doubt, not cuz he's a celebrity, more because.....well the girl showed up with 8 different semens to the investigation, u cant do that...thats seven too many, thats alot of semen man, this bi*ch got noah's ark in her panties, what u tryin to recreate humanity or somethin? shes a collector. She got every unsolved mystery in her panties, thats the first place i'd look. She got O.J's other glove in there, big foot's footprint, 3 CSI re-runs....Dave Chappelle.....classic sh*t from For What ITs Worth
 ruff said
"You know how long it took me to train this monkey to suck my d*ck without peeling it?"


man..funny times man. i wish he came back. one of the most funniest man alive IMO.

 10 years ago '07        #154
Jayceon 506 heat pts506
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 Lake said
'the MEANEST burger in the world could be the LEEEANEST burger in the world, if u cook it that WAAAAAy' the way that dude sings it cracks me up.
rofl!! oh sh*t

 10 years ago '05        #155
stickemup 
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everything in this thread, even "I'm Rick James bi*ch", when he says it it's still funny.

 10 years ago '06        #156
Manny05 1 heat pts
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lol, why not bring it back. his jokes never get old

 10 years ago '05        #157
IllmaticYungin 8 heat pts
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"GOT DAMN"
"You Know Some people like their cucumbers pickled. What? HUH?"

 10 years ago '06        #158
Nugen2384 
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Juice??? What the fu*k is juice??? I want some grape drink...mmh, its purple.

Chocalate??? This is doo-doo, baby!!!

 10 years ago '07        #159
kyhoopsgoat 426 heat pts426
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The "Turn My Headphones Up!" skit from the Chappelle Show.

Turn my headphones up, what?
I am serious n1gga I can't hear outta this ear.
Yeah, hold on n1gga I can't hear outta my left ear,
turn them sh1ts up.
This one n1gga it's my left.
You ready to see how we drop it in the streets?
I said drop the beat not drumroll.
Now let the beat build like that, Uh, uh...
What happened? Turn my head phones up...

"I'd stab a n1gga in the neck with a butter knife for Fisticuffs!"

 09-11-2008, 02:57 PM         #160
biggdoggbbc  OP
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"i want you guys to go out there and get me brea$t milk from a cambodian immigrant, cause i only drinks the finest brea$t milk."















































"i can't believe you guys did it, that's 100% cambodian."
breaaast milk, youu maaade my daaayyyyyy


Last edited by biggdoggbbc; 09-11-2008 at 02:58 PM..

 10 years ago '06        #161
Badnewz100 
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"my name is leonard washington and i don't get butt nekkid for nobody you want dis roll n*gga you gon have to shoot me"

"clankity clank clank"-tron

"i wrote dis a long time ago"-tupac comedy scene

 10 years ago '08        #162
BRonin357 8 heat pts
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The Pac song was classic! That's not your wife! I can see it now!

Damn my fav probably already said but fu*k it!
The Bum on the bus joke

"Ahhhh, that feels better, you....smash your t*tties together!

 09-11-2008, 06:38 PM         #163
Rhyme n Tekniq  OP
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Dave Chappelle describing his stay with the indians about to smoke some weed

" the little ones are 20 and the big ones are 50"

"Mr. President stop sucking the ambassadors d*ck, that is not how we handle business in the white house sir"

"No let him finish, there will finally be peace in Israel "


something about the way Chappelle said

"Whats all this chocolate on ya face............Muthafu*ka!!!!!!!!"
"its Doo Doo Baby"

Oldschool Dave chappelle

only real chappelle fans will know this one

white guy- "im pissed off"
Chappelle-" If i was that close to a horses weiner, Id be worried about gettin pissed on"

heard that sh*t when i was a kid and died laughing

 10 years ago '08        #164
Tecnique 27 heat pts27
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 10 years ago '06        #165
Manny05 1 heat pts
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 irhabi007 said
The "Turn My Headphones Up!" skit from the Chappelle Show.

Turn my headphones up, what?
I am serious n1gga I can't hear outta this ear.
Yeah, hold on n1gga I can't hear outta my left ear,
turn them sh1ts up.
This one n1gga it's my left.
You ready to see how we drop it in the streets?
I said drop the beat not drumroll.
Now let the beat build like that, Uh, uh...
What happened? Turn my head phones up...

"I'd stab a n1gga in the neck with a butter knife for Fisticuffs!"
 Badnewz100 said
"my name is leonard washington and i don't get butt nekkid for nobody you want dis roll n*gga you gon have to shoot me"

"clankity clank clank"-tron

"i wrote dis a long time ago"-tupac comedy scene
 PutYouOnGame said
the tupac skit is the G.O.A.T.
Listen close, as life turns it's pages,
Makaveli here kickin' rhymes for the ages.
Seen things in stages,
Wise words spoken by sages,
From SkyTel to Blackberry pagers.
Your crew don't phase us,
We'll make you bustas pay us,
Run up in your spot like C.J. from San Andreas.

(Chorus)
I wrote this song a long time ago,
A real long time ago. Feel me!
I wrote this song a long time ago,
Was the dopest song I ever wrote... in '94.

What can a n*gga do,
When half the people voted for George W.
Life's a bi*ch, cause George W., can't be true,
I wanna choke him, cause he's a snitch,
I'm talkin' bout George W. Smith, from city council,
He ran in '93 out in Oakland, you probabably didn't hear about him.

(Chorus)
I wrote this song a long time ago,
A real long time ago.
Way before Slim Shady was in demand,
Way before we dropped bologna on Afghanistan.
I wrote this song in '94.

{{missisng}} am I doin' this.

Look around the club,
See everyone in the place,
Showing Pac love,
Got a smile on my face.
The girl in the miniskirt, has bad taste,
Cause that shirt don't match,
There's a pudding stain on the back.
And what the **** is that! It might be doo doo!

And you in the back you ain't ****,
You want a Gin & Tonic but you didn't even tip.
And if you hit this table one more time,
Then the record might skip... might skip.
I told you, stop hittin' the table.

Tupac Shakur,
I wrote this rhyme in 1994.
I'm not alive!
Thug Life!
Dave Chappelle, that ain't your wife.
{{missisng}} ... Go Home!

(Chorus)
I wrote this song a long time ago,
A real long time ago.
Way before {{missisng}},
Way before Dave Chappelle had two kids.
Don't give him no coochie.

DJ: Tupac rest in peace.

Ok, I will.

oh my god. that tupac song was the sh*t when i heard it. sh*t had me rolling for days. especially that KKK skit. sh*t was mad funny too

 10 years ago '08        #166
OirAsiR 
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*him doin an impression of eminem's lose yourself* "spaghetti! spaghetti!"

hahahaa

 10 years ago '05        #167
dreas_24 26 heat pts26
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My favorite one was when he shot the jumpshot with the condom into the waste basket and said "Kobe"!!!

lmao

thas my sh*t lol

 10 years ago '04        #168
jeehtoven 51 heat pts51
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 Rico23 said
Wow who bumped this? this was made way before i even knew anything about message boards......


Well anyway:



:applause:
hahaha...I bumped it. I watched Seasons 1 and 2 and I couldn't stop thinking how funny this was. I used to get blunted and watch this every week. They're having a marathon this weekend too.

 09-13-2008, 03:48 AM         #169
Young Candino  OP
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The n*gga bought some yellow cake...

Are you sure it was yellow? - reporter

Yes im sure biiiiiiiiiiiiitch.. i got head of the CIA to tell you...

Mos Def: We jsut cameback from Africa, and the motherufker bought some yellow cake...

Jed: CRAAAAAAAAADLE OF MOTHERFUKIN CIVILIZATION

PRAY TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD YOU DONT DROP THAT sh*t


 10 years ago '06        #170
Southern_Boi 
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Have you ever had something happen that was so racist that you didnt even get mad?
You was just like "God damn! that was racist" It was so blatant you were just like "wow!"

Almost like it didnt even happen to you it was like a fu*kin movie. Like you was watchin Mississippi Burning "wow!"

That happen to me, I was in Mississippi. I was in Mississippi doin a show and I go to the restaurant to order some food and I say to the guy "I would like to have-" and before I even finish my order he says "THE CHICKEN!" I was like "what the fu*k?"

I could not believe it, I could not believe that sh*t. This man was absolutely right. I said how did he know he know that I was gone get some chicken?

I asked him I said "How you know that? Howd you know I was gone get some chicken?"

He looked at me like I was crazy "Come on buddy. Come ooon buddy! Now everybody knew as soon as you walked through the god damn door."

"You're gone get some chicken"

Had it on bootleg and this n*gga made me blow my high I was laughin too hard


Last edited by Southern_Boi; 09-15-2008 at 08:05 AM..

 09-13-2008, 07:32 AM         #171
rockroyal24  OP
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White wife - Want me to light your cigarette for you too.

Leonard Washington - Better check your tone girl. Put your inside voice on for I put your a.ss outside.

Trading Spouses.

 10 years ago '04        #172
DaKidB.A.N.K.$ 5 heat pts
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"my friend jasper told me one of them coons came up to pick his sister up for a date, he said look her zzzzzz that there is my sister, anyone gonna have s3x with my sister its gonna be me" - clayton bigsby lol

"yall gotta get brea$t milk from a cambodian immigrant..i only drink the finest....brea$t milks"

 10 years ago '04        #173
DoctorJ|m 36 heat pts36
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the whole wayne brady skit
"is wayne brady gonna have to choke a b*tch"


Last edited by DoctorJ; 09-13-2008 at 08:04 PM..

 10 years ago '07        #174
killahkazi 15 heat pts15
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this is remix edition, of a song about pissin

 10 years ago '04        #175
hansolo79 
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[email changed - confirm acct by email]
News Reporter: What about people who say you're only interested in the Middle East for oil?
President Black Bush: What? Huh? Oil? Who said somethin' bout oil, bi*ch. You cookin?




Last edited by hansolo79; 09-13-2008 at 08:40 PM..

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