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Favorite Dave Chappelle Quote

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 10 years ago '04        #181
BklynKid718 
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wife: "Dave, we need to talk"
.........
Dave:
(sits down)

"fu*k!!!!!"

 09-19-2008, 06:18 PM         #182
almcaffee  OP
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WHAT THE fu*k IS JUICE????

I WANT THE PURPLE STUFF!!!

two of the best ever, but these are from his stand up not the chapelle show...

 09-19-2008, 07:11 PM         #183
lightysilo18  OP
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the nelson mandela boot camp " if i wanted to be mean i would call this boy fat and push his bosoms together and make love to them."

 10 years ago '07        #184
Adam Is BeTTeR 2 heat pts
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Man that toilet was disgustin...wasn't fit for christian butt cheeks...so I had two choices...I could either go doo doo in my trousers, which I couldn't, that was the only good pair I had at the time, or...I could use a white restroom...it was risky...but so was mudd butt!

and

"All this time I been thinkin I liked fried chicken cuz it was delicious... Turns out i'm genetically predisposed to liking chicken"


Last edited by Adam Is BeTTeR; 09-19-2008 at 07:44 PM..

 10 years ago '05        #185
YoungerHov 
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All good ones, but I don't see two if my favorites:

"Bucknasty, what you said about my coat deeply offends me. It was made by your mother's pubic hair." - Classic

And at the end of the skit when they put up the Rosie O Donnell picture and he says: "She looks like she wear underwear with d*ck Hooooooles" - the whole cast breaks character... Cooooooold Blooooooooded


Last edited by YoungerHov; 09-19-2008 at 08:43 PM..

 10 years ago '05        #186
YoungerHov 
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 Adam Is BeTTeR said
Man that toilet was disgustin...wasn't fit for christian butt cheeks...so I had two choices...I could either go doo doo in my trousers, which I couldn't, that was the only good pair I had at the time, or...I could use a white restroom...it was risky...but so was mudd butt!

and

"All this time I been thinkin I liked fried chicken cuz it was delicious... Turns out i'm genetically predisposed to liking chicken"
Second quote is from k!lling Them Softly... but a classic nonetheless.

 10 years ago '04        #187
apfam77 
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some mark a.ss trick just stepped on my sneakers and poured mortons salt all over me.

 9 years ago '07        #188
CadillacVyse 1018 heat pts1018
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oil..you cookin b***h?

 9 years ago '05        #189
I_REP_VA 10 heat pts10
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aw man it's gotta be in makin da band where he's p.diddy

he's like.. "taxes ness? is that what they doin in the hood?"

hahahhahaha

 9 years ago '05        #190
I_REP_VA 10 heat pts10
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"Dave.. I'm gonna race em"

 05-15-2009, 01:45 PM         #191
Dastrola  OP
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'I rip and I Rhyme, Rhyme and I rip, Dis iz da way Dylan Spits.'

That whole making the band skit is hilarious!

 9 years ago '08        #192
Ron O'Neal 5 heat pts
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now as i sip my soda that im sure somebody spit in. from the players haters ball

one of the paul mooney skits when mooney says to the guy "n*gga what is up with your teeth" or something like that

 9 years ago '08        #193
svvt14 2 heat pts
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" oh s**t its Wayne Brady son
Riverside Mutha f**ka"

lmao

 05-15-2009, 04:29 PM         #194
TheCityOnMyMind  OP
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What did the 5 fingers say to the face?.......Slap

 9 years ago '07        #195
Pistol Peter 33 heat pts33
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"hey..im just a n*gga that like t*tties"

 9 years ago '04        #196
lilsnatch770|M 102 heat pts102
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First they had The Mexican with Brad Pitt and now we have The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise? Maybe they'll produce my film: The Last n*gga on Earth starring Tom Hanks


hahahahahaah

 05-15-2009, 06:31 PM         #197
J. Lewis  OP
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Put some treble in it, put some treble in it...that's my word

 9 years ago '07        #198
Jeet Kune Do 13 heat pts13
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 lilsnatch770 said
First they had The Mexican with Brad Pitt and now we have The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise? Maybe they'll produce my film: The Last n*gga on Earth starring Tom Hanks


hahahahahaah
I was rollin when I seen him say that

 9 years ago '06        #199
Knockout5 7 heat pts
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The player hater ball when he roast Rosie O'Donell sayin "It looks like she wears panties with d**k holes in them"

 9 years ago '07        #200
Pistol Peter 33 heat pts33
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 lilsnatch770 said
First they had The Mexican with Brad Pitt and now we have The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise? Maybe they'll produce my film: The Last n*gga on Earth starring Tom Hanks


hahahahahaah
lmao i was driving to work the other day and i thought about that one and i busted out laughing

 9 years ago '04        #201
lilsnatch770|M 102 heat pts102
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 Pistol Peter said
lmao i was driving to work the other day and i thought about that one and i busted out laughing
For some odd reason someone I know was talking about a Wyclef song and all I could think about was:

If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have s3x all f**king day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time.

 05-16-2009, 07:13 PM         #202
a10emtdprime  OP
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My favorite quote: Cause Um Rich Biotch and Thats right!!!!

 9 years ago '04        #203
AmerikanDesi589 1 heat pts
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 lilsnatch770 said
For some odd reason someone I know was talking about a Wyclef song and all I could think about was:

If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have s3x all f**king day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time.
:agreement6:
best f**king quote. ever.

 05-16-2009, 08:36 PM         #204
lightysilo18  OP
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Dave, after doing his wife, tosses his condom into the trash while saying "Kobe!"

 9 years ago '05        #205
Demboyz746 
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bucknasty you so dark when you touch yourself its like black on black crime

 9 years ago '05        #206
sushi chef 6 heat pts
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we got the 5 best rappers in the world....think about it...

...dylan, dylan, dylan, dylan, and dylan

because i spit hot fire!

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