And...Cocaine's a helluva drug..hehe!

Sometimes I sit on my hand until it falls asleep and masturbate. I call it the sleeper

^ It's stranger, not sleeper

Dave's Son: Dad, Nick Cannon's hilarious.
Dave: Man... fu*k Nick Cannon

Dave as Al Roker: And this isn't my real voice! This is how I really talk. *Deep voice* See, I'm straight up gangsta bi*ch. What's the matter Chuck, you look sick. You ol' pasty-faced bastard.

*fu*k Yo Couch Nukka*

When they had the annual haters ball, he was like I'd like to thank you and you and fu*k you too. "Now I have to go home and put some water in charlie murphy's mama's bowl" Good night n*ggas and bi*ches.

Tyrone "all it takes is some baking soda and some water.......and i think i tasted egg and cinnamon"

Gang Wars
"some mark a*s busters just stepped on my sneakers, and poured morton salt all over me"

ashy larry
"i'm going from ashy to classy"

its the n*ggar family
when he in the restaurant and sees the dude wit his girl
ooooh, whoa, helloo little n*gga

wayne brady's like
"break yo self fool!"
"oh sh*t its wayne brady son!"

tyrone biggums:have you ever suck d*ck,for crack?! and:dog taste like it smells....delicious!!

bc/o06 said so you just gone do yo taxes right i front of me playboy

hell yea dat sh*t was funny
so dats wats hot in da streets yo taxes ness

imma make a movie its gonna be called da last ?????? on earth starring tom hanks lol lol dat sh*t was funny a*s fu*k

ggggg get yo a*s in da car-trading spouses
o yea ggggg good bye

str8_akademiks said "with Samuel Jackson's, you'll be fu*kin fat bi*ches in no time" "mmm mmmmmm bi*ch!"

"I TALK LOUD..........HAVENT YOU SEEN MY MOVIES?!?!?!"

Samuel Jackson's skit was funny as hell.........

"IN YOUR FACE....IN....YOUR....FACE" - when he was playin the lil sick kid in videogames

"Im the baddest mutha fu*ka a live....hold my drink bi*ch" - rick james

"Even when slapping was fashionable....smack....I challenge u to a duel......they had a gun f*ght after that, someone had to go" - charlie murphy

oh yeah and go to the extras on the second seasn dvd and when they had those other true hollywood storys and charlie murphy was talkin bout how cuz inthe wheelchair was talkin sh*t bout his brother and he went over to the table and said "How bout I flip your damn wheelchair over and stomp your mouth. Cuz that seems to be the only thing movin"

Samuel Jackson! It'll Get Cha Drunk! U'll Be fu*kn Fat bi*ches By No Time! U Might Even f*ght A n*gga Or Two! Drink bi*ch!

"they should have never gave u n*ggas money"
"the milk has gone bad"
"i think im bleeding in my chest" -rick james

My favorite was when he was talking about how he loves black people, but he shoal hates n*ggas.

" SIR! im in no way involved in any ??????ium!" lol

"Take a picture with a midget, holding these ballons *holding these ballons*holding these ballons*"

aaahhh maaan, theres way too many, heres some

"...and a banana cognaaac biatch!"
"katie got some big a*s tittaaayys" - tron from the mad real world

"this is de full nelson biches!" - nelson mandela

"habba habba!" - phyuick yiu (when eddie is shakin the dice)

"i smoke rocks"
"THAT REDBULLS GOT ME!" - tyrone biggums

that whole skit of the chicago gang wars was hilarious

that chinese dude from that "10 years from now" camera sh*t lol

"dont drop thaaat sh*t!" - anthony berry (black bush, when mos is talkin bout the yellow cake lol)

im done for now...

From the episode of Wayne Brady takin ova-"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to smack a bi*ch."
From the racial draft episode-"Tuff luck n*gga theres always fubu" and "You keep OJ and you take Condoleeza Rice"

Ohh sh*t I remembered the funniest one of all the episode where the black people become rich and the black guy says "Whats wrong with you CHuck u look sick like u was rollin in Ground Zero"

the best show ever on tv , needs to get back on....prop and ill prop back

"i was bout to kick a n*gga out the window" - Charlie Murphy

She wears underwear with d*ckholes in them

"You know white people gonna trip when they know what that means. They'll be like 'My god what have we done'"

~OSiRiS~ said dis off of the 1st season

No...season two. He's talking about the word 'skeet'

what can i say about your suit..that hasnt already been said abouta Afganistan..It looks bombed out and depleted!

clayton bigsby had a ton
"one time jasper had one of dem coons come by to pick his sister up for a date.. he said "look here n+gger!..that there i my girl. anyone havin s*x with my sister its gonna be ME!"
"that dirty monkey was beatin my hood!"
Colin Powel...Candalangus (condeliza)sp Rice! Condalangus RIce sounds like a mexican dish, maybe we should put her ona plate an send 'er to mexico for da mexicans will eat 'er!
Hiland park..
how did u get that?
Snoop: from FUKIN!

Mooney: the last samurai..staring Tom Cruise....hes the last samurai?? give me a break, hollywood is crazy, maybe ill make a movie, ill call it the Last n*gga on Earth staring Tom Hanks..

im on my Att Tilt.ill post later