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Favorite Dave Chappelle Quote


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Props Slaps
 13 years ago '04        #31
PIJIN 
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tyrone: theres summet u don't know bout me, i smoke rocks - when he's on fear factor

 13 years ago '04        #32
purtayboi 1 heat pts
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$4,908 | Props total: 4416 4416
When keeping it real goes wrong----- " allow me to introduce myself, my name is HOV......" ARF, ARF, ARF, ........ WU-TANG bi*chES !!!!!

 07-18-2005, 09:26 AM         #33
AllEyezOnMe187  OP
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 bigwilly69 said

[pic - click to view]

haha dat was sum funny sh*t

 07-18-2005, 04:44 PM         #34
AllEyezOnMe187  OP
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 pigeon said
"... sometimes when I'm alone I... sit on my hand and... wait till it gets numb and masterbate. They call that a stranger. You ever given yourself a stranger?"

"What?"

"a stranger"

"yeah..yeah i do it a couple times"

"okay"

"yeah"

From Lil Jon and Oprah
sum even funnier sh*t...had me rollin first time i seen the skit

 07-18-2005, 04:51 PM         #35
jamaali  OP
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Prince: Want some Pankakes? bi*ches.

 13 years ago '05        #36
stickemup 
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"Computer Blue. Darling Picky. Good. Good. Good Hustle" "yo man I´m not on your team"

"You know what, Joe Rogan? I smoke rocks."

"I´M RICK JAMES BIOTCH!" "Ay man, ay, would you mind not calling me a bi*ch in front of my kids?"

"You know what Calvin? It´s a thin line between fries and shakes."

"So I walk in the door, and the first thing I see is OJ Simpson, and I´m thinking to myself Wow that´s OJ Simpson, he´s got a big fu*king head man"

"You just wanna do your taxes Ness? Is that what´s hot on the streets right now, your taxes?"

"How come they never found Biggie & 2Pac´s murder, but they arrest OJ next day... NICOLE SIMPSON CAN`T RAP... THIS WHOLE COURT IS OUT OF ORDER!"

"Mmmhh... Titty residue."

"Thug life! Think this a game, n*gga?! ARF, ARF, ARF! Wu-Tang!"

 13 years ago '04        #37
Sylent Khaos 
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"I rip and I rhyme, I rhyme and I rip. This is the way that Dylan spits.......you trying to get some of this hot fiya!"

"Who are the five best rappers of all time? Think about it: Dylan, Dylan, Dylan Dylan Dylan...Cause I Spit Hot Fiya!!!"

"...This just in, the crime rate has dropped to zero percent. Zero percent? What, did the mexicans get reperations too? I think we'll be fine, mexicans don't watch the news any way. Now if this were Telemundo..."

"How come they still can't find Tupac and Biggie's murders, but the arrest OJ the next day? NICOLE SIMPSON CAN"T RAP!!!!! I WANT JUSTICE!!!!!" (this sh*t has us rolling for hours)

And we can't sleep on his two hit songs:

R Kelly (Piss on You Lyrics)

"[intro]

Yeah. 40 oz. of malt liquor mmake me want to tell you somethin'.

(verse 1)
Rollin round, sittin on dubs. Can't lie I was high on shrubs.

Coolin in my Escalade. Man I'm paid, I got it made!

Take me to your special place. Close your eyes, show me your face.

I'm gonna p!ss on it!


(chorus)
Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love. I don't even want none of the above.

I want to p!ss on you! Yes I do. I'll p!ss on you; I'll pee on you.


(verse 2)
Now your body, your body is a Porta-Potty.

And my pee I'd kick; like it know's karate. (knows karate)

And you'll never fell quite the same once u take a whiff of my Hershey stains.

I want to poop on u too. I want to pee in your food.

Only thing that make my life complete is when I turn your face into a toilet seat.

I'm gonna p!ss on you!


(chorus)
Before we start, I'm gonna fart. I'm gonna fart on you"


R Kelly (Piss on You [Remix] Lyrics)

" (spoken)
Normally I don't do this
But I'ma hit ya'll off with a little taste of the remix
Ya'll ready? Here we go

(sung)
I pick you up from the club
Take you home to make some love
Got a surprise, close your eyes
I'm gonna cover you with suds
(instrumental breakdown)
I'ma give you some poo-poo
I'ma give you some pee-pee
I'ma give you some doo-doo
Wash it down with some wee-wee
This is the remix edition of the song about pissin'
I got that peein', leakin', freakin' and there's juice in the kitchen

(spoken)
That's how it goes at a R Kelly party
I sip Cris..........you drink piss
I want to p!ss on you remix, ya heard?
You know I'm serious
I really do want to p!ss on you
"

 13 years ago '05        #38
magniff 
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mmh mmh bi*ch!

 07-18-2005, 06:39 PM         #39
Shitniks77  OP
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*talkin bout Rosie O'Donnel* "She wears underwears wit d!ck holes in em"

 13 years ago '05        #40
Sickstrumentals 2 heat pts
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i dont have any... chapelle is cool tho...

 07-18-2005, 06:48 PM         #41
JasminEnnes7784  OP
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"Peanut butter and crack"

 13 years ago '05        #42
Afnorth123 10 heat pts10
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hell naw, i dolnt like nobody playin on my phone.. I keeps it real

 07-18-2005, 11:59 PM         #43
bc/o06  OP
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"Red Ballz it gives me wings"

"Are u ready to smash some fruit"

"Go up stairs right now and put on some lotion"

"This is not a option n*gga"

 07-19-2005, 03:17 AM         #44
themousebox  OP
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the funniest one he aint even speak....when "diddy" said he shutting the studio down..i think...and chapelle was dylan...that blank look was hilarious


Last edited by themousebox; 07-19-2005 at 03:28 AM..

 07-19-2005, 03:26 AM         #45
themousebox  OP
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ok funniest kwote...

"how u gon rip it like this son..or like dat son...it's like action..cus i'm black son......doodeleedoodeleedodeleedoooooo"

HILaRIOUS.......that's when the white guy was pitching him movie ideas...then his wife fantasised bout anthony anderson....LOL

 07-19-2005, 03:46 AM         #46
j354j4  OP
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"Women got to much advice about men.. from other women... and they dont know what the fu*k they talking about" - Dave Chapelle


From the 'killing me softly' stand up show..

 07-19-2005, 05:38 AM         #47
qb_smokedogg  OP
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bi*ch I Live In A fu*king Trash Can , I'm the Porrest Muthafu*ka On Sesame Street

 13 years ago '04        #48
money36 2 heat pts
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im rich bi*ch

 07-19-2005, 07:25 AM         #49
blak_mag1k  OP
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Rick James - They shudda never given u n*ggas money!
Making The Band - P.Diddy - If it was my choice i wouldnt work...... id take a dump in the back of a movie theater and WAIT and jus WAIT for somebody to sit on it and hear a squish! dats funny 2 me.
Making The Band - P.Diddy - Its 100% cambodian yo, brea$tmilk, you made my dayyyyy!

 07-19-2005, 04:05 PM         #50
JCass  OP
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All of you said them already except
Ice T "Next n*gga that interrupts me is gettin shot."
Funkmaster Flex "Word on the street is my man fisticuffs got shot in the ear like 9 times!"
The Gang War Episode "Ay fool, we got yo leader, look at his pretty shoes." And then the gang takin the pic wit the bomb detonator...
Wayne Brady "Gimme ya dam sandwich Dave."

And u cant have a post about Dave without talkin about the Nutty Professor.

 13 years ago '04        #51
Mumbletaker 62 heat pts62
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"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bi*ch?"

"He (R. Kelly) was mad at me. Ain't no punchline to that, that n*gga is mad. "How you gonna make a video about peeing on somebody?" n*gga, how YOU gonna make a video about peeing on somebody"


Last edited by Mumbletaker; 07-19-2005 at 06:54 PM..

 07-19-2005, 07:08 PM         #52
nyks311  OP
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im rick james bi*ch
err body said it and still does
one fo the funniest sh*t ever

 07-19-2005, 07:24 PM         #53
~OSiRiS~  OP
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"You know white people gonna trip when they know what that means. They'll be like 'My god what have we done'"
dis off of the 1st season

 13 years ago '04        #54
gngstr357 
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You Have Great New York b00bs

 13 years ago '05        #55
WhiteBoy773 4 heat pts
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fu*k yo couch n*gga@@@@

 13 years ago '04        #56
Rufus The Stunt 
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"everybody wanna be a n*gga, but nobody wanna be a n*gga"

Paul Mooney said it but it was on the show...classic quote

 07-20-2005, 07:27 PM         #57
dex1can  OP
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tyrone bigguns - "i smoke rocks"

and "yea bi*ch, people do still steal radios" followed by a cracked out dance (also tyrone)

 13 years ago '04        #58
gngstr357 
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mmm mm bi*ch itlll get ya drunk
sam jackson

 07-20-2005, 07:46 PM         #59
jerrito1  OP
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"I plead the fifth...1, 2, 3, 4, fifth"

 07-20-2005, 08:29 PM         #60
yungh  OP
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Da skit called Three Daves:

"fu*k NICK CANNON, DAVE CHAPPELLE!!!!

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