A viral TikTok of white, female college graduates showcasing their engagement rings while waiting to receive their degrees sparked a conversation online about the pressure on young women at southern colleges and universities to get engaged before graduation.

The phenomenon has many names, but is perhaps most commonly trademarked as "ring by spring" or obtaining an "MRS degree." While the terms can have a negative connotation — implying that a young woman's main intention in attending college is to find a partner – it sheds light on the very real experience of young, white women finding their life partners on campus.

It isn't comparable to the experience of college-educated Black women who are 53% less likely to marry a well-educated man (with at least some post-secondary education) than their white counterparts.

"For Black women attending college, we're really striving to level the playing field or become economically stable. Our goal is to secure a career, and in turn, secure our families," said Anjerrika Bean, the a*sistant director of Howard University's Center for Women, Gender and Global Leadership. "Securing a spouse isn't the ultimate agenda for us. That doesn't mean we aren't interested in it, but it isn't the reason we are choosing to further our education at said institution."

'The marriage squeeze'
Whether dating to marry or focusing on dating at all is a priority for Black women in college, uncontrollable factors like systematic racism, preference, and stigma in a society influenced by western beauty standards play into the experience of singlehood amongst Black female college students.

According to the book "The Dating Divide: Race and Desire in the Era of Online Romance," young Black women, like most everyone else, want to marry someone who's similarly educated. But in a society where Black women are among the highest educated female demographic in America (in terms of post-secondary education) and only 36% of Black male students complete a bachelor's degree within six years, the dating pool drastically decreases for college Black women seeking an equal on campus.

"We have an economic system that creates real inequality, in particular for Black men. And so you have a situation known as the marriage squeeze, where Black women tend to be more highly educated than Black men because of the different ways in which a racist society impacts men versus women," said Jennifer Lundquist, professor of Sociology and Senior a*sociate Dean of Research & Faculty Development at the University of Massachusetts, and co-author of "The Dating Divide."

Issues like a higher mortality rate among Black men — both for health reasons, but also systematic violence — including police brutality, affects the gender proportions in the Black community. In terms of challenges surrounding completion of secondary education, factors like being a first-generation college student, needing to work a full-time job while in school, or not having the savings or financial support to afford tuition slow down the rate at which Black men graduate.

A hostile dating environment
While Black women have the lowest rates of dating across race lines, predominantly white institutions don't necessarily create an inviting environment for those who are open to pursuing love outside their race. "These are Black women in an institution that is increasingly hostile towards people of color, particularly Black women," said Celeste Currington, an a*sistant professor of sociology at Boston University and co-author of "The Dating Divide."

"Black women often don't feel comfortable or welcome in what is the pervasive romantic scene, which is the hookup scene — the parties, the drinking, fraternities. Those are often white men's territory on campus," Lundquist added.

Long standing images and stereotypes a*signed to Black femininity that devalues it as something that is deviant and undesirable also plays a role in why Black women are being approached less on campuses.

"These white supremacist initiatives throughout history paint Black women as aggressive or hypers*xual on the one end, but also non-feminine on the other hand. A lot of people internalize these images and of course they're also pinned against white femininity," Currington said. "Blackness, particularly gendered blackness, was not framed as something that is beautiful, that can be desirable. And this impacts people's experiences." On dating apps, Black women with a college degree are more likely to be passed on by non-Black men than a white woman with less education.

"A lot of my roommates were white and they were always quickly getting into a relationship, even as freshmen. Whereas I was on that same campus for four years and never found anyone," said Lauryn Craine, a recent graduate from Missouri Valley College. Craine, who dated intra- and interracially, said she had several experiences where she would casually date men who would tell her they weren't looking for something serious, only to see them in a relationship with a non-Black woman later. "They pretty much only wanted s*x when it came to me," she said.




That’s what one of my friends from the south said. He said down there most people get their “ho phase” when they’re freshman or sophomores, then by Junior year start dating seriously and marry someone from college. I think something like half of college grads or grad students marry someone they meet at school. What I want to know is are they ACTUALLY going after black men, or just the few athletes

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There are definitely challenges in our community and more men than women but 80% of black men are married to black women so it’s not impossible.

These women got to do the work learn what men actually want and make that a priority.

Stop leading with degrees and money

Stop emasculating men

Work on having a pleasant personality

Maintain a healthy weight

Begging Brad and Conor for dates is not going to get black women married in large numbers.

How many Gen Y folk gonna get married is the big question

Majority of black women don't want a educated brother until wayyyy after college

Tirade said Majority of black women don't want a educated brother until wayyyy after college

I swear I just saw a girl on my Instagram post something about how her future husband is going to take her to see Beyoncé..

And guess what... She has 3 degrees and 2 baby daddies.. and she's over weight..

How you got a PhD but can't figure out how to not let a broke nicca impregnate you? Your future husband won't be able to afford Beyoncé tickets dear.

As the late great Kevin Samuels would say.. You can't make this shyt up..

itsamefabio said so black women go to school to concentrate on money and white women go to school to concentrate on their career and their love life. Wow. How do they multi-task?

Systemic racism is real man..

Creates a lot of internal and external forces..

How many dudes you know working a regular job or going to school and avoid check points like they trappin?

In my early twenties I had to budget fake tickets from profiling cops into my expenses.. Like ok I I'll prolly get $500-1000 in bullshyt tickets this year..

Also, the culture glorifies criminality because we're made to be criminals..

If cops are bad drug dealers must be good.. So they date a few drug dealers before they realize the boring a*s engineer was the one that's gonna take the to a different country every summer.. Often times it's too late..

Business as usual in AmeriKKKa

Just here to slap

OP with youngboss esque garbage threads

itsamefabio said Whole bunch of victim mentality. Luckily my daughter won’t bring home any drug dealers cause I taught her morals. Guess your dad was busy that day along with the day you were taught you are to be a criminal.

I hate when ignorant niccas make up narratives to comfort themselves when exposed with a truth that doesn't fit their worldview..

Read some peer-reviewed journals on the subject before you speak with convicted bitkh nicca.

Uncle Tom a*s doesn't understand the difference between micro and macro.. I'm not gonna be the one to teach your stupid a*s either.. It's literally scientific fact at this point..

It’s funny how they always point the finger at the men and not self reflect on their flaws so that the future generation can do better.

And it’s crazy I think this stubborn attitude towards change is a reason most guys leave them for women of other races because they won’t listen and self improve.

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. These hoes is insane.

Being the white mans lapdog/sidekick don’t mean he want you like that.

Netflix and Disney lied.

KS tried to tell these hoes

mad hatt3r said KS tried to tell these hoes

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I mean boxden harps on this black women don't get married because black men don't go to college sh*t.

What is stopping you dusty n*ggas from going to college then?

Yall must want to be married really bad.

i mean, Black American women are raised to focus on school not love

white Americans & hispanic women are raised to be married before 25 years old

thats why you can smash the milf beckys when they marriage in shambles later in life ..jk

Airtight said Just here to slap OP with youngboss esque garbage threads

Youngboss is cool.

I support anyone trying to make money and it doesn't cost a thing to show love and respect.

OP been on a roll with the gender war mongering/black women hatred threads though.

@

Ayo, from my experience, most women from my undergrad years that ended up single have a high salaryjob. If they were in a career field that is more of a slow predictable climb in status, they had a man/are married right now. A lot women don't understand that a high paying job is more demanding. With that being said, starting a family and being in a relationship is on the back burner at ALL TIMES and that isn't a good situation when you're on a time constraint to find a partner. With that said, they will pick up the most accessible which the least desirable men.

Most men, if not all, don't want to come second to their woman career and be stuck with being the one to cook, clean, and take care of their kid/s. For most men, we don't really start racking in big money till we are in our early to mid 30s. This alone gives us enough time to find out if we want to get/find a suitable partner in our 20s. Once we hit 30 and the man is still single, there is a very high chance they will stay single and may get a chick preggo just to have a kid.

Women got to understand, men will always love younger women and the peak age is 21-25. We understand that what you seeing is the REAL HER and what to expect in a marriage. Hence why older guys with solid/good careers in their late 30s scoop entry level career women who are 24-25 to mold/educate about being in a longterm relationship or just more easier to communicate. These women are eager to get married and are not as cautious to show their true colors. For the ones that find each other during college or little after, bruh, they always have a good chance of being married because they both grow and learn valuable lessons from each other.


This is all from experience and watching other friends go through divorce, bad relationships, and great marriages stay strong. Either way, you have to play smart, communicate often, and do YOUR part. Also, I'm married.

Tirade said Majority of black women don't want a educated brother until wayyyy after college

We're suppose to clean them up. Say no to old hoes

It isn't comparable to the experience of college-educated Black women who are 53% less likely to marry a well-educated man (with at least some post-secondary education) than their white counterparts.

- they can if they wanted to. but that educated brother is a lame and corny n*gga ... so they shack up with pookie

ALSO

what are the benefits of getting married?

itsamefabio said Whole bunch of victim mentality. Luckily my daughter won’t bring home any drug dealers cause I taught her morals. Guess your dad was busy that day along with the day you were taught you are to be a criminal.

You white people stay saying slick sh*t

Craine, who dated intra- and interracially, said she had several experiences where she would casually date men who would...

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literally hate this hoe babble liar language. these girls say they "dated" but what they really mean is they got fu*ked. but they cant say that cause then they gotta admit they're asl*t to granma or whoever they talkin to

rfessler1 said Craine, who dated intra- and interracially, said she had several experiences where she would casually date men who would... view image literally hate this hoe babble liar language. these girls say they "dated" but what they really mean is they got fu*ked. but they cant say that cause then they gotta admit they're asl*t to granma or whoever they talkin to

I picked up on that one

'Casually date'

This is why an honestsl*t is an improvement on a downlow one

mad hatt3r said KS tried to tell these hoes

TheLuminousOne said view image

yunghuss973 said Being the white mans lapdog/sidekick don’t mean he want you like that. Netflix and Disney lied.

Between all the Shonda Rimes dribble like Scandal/seeing things out in the world since the 00s I believe this is what the majority of ABW subscribe to as their fantasy outcome, which is why they're never happy:


Baby Boomer/Gen X ABWs along with Netflix, Disney and all the TV networks have given Millenial/Gen Z ABWs this false playbook that in their college years they should "focus on their schooling" which really means "go be a hoe without impunity" because they're getting ran thru by the top athletes/frat guys of any and all races on campus along with a few low-level celebs/rappers/dope boys here and there

Then when they get their funky little paper from massa claiming they smart cuz they could regurgitate what they were instructed to memorize in a school building they get a job not making nearly enough to be acting like they sh*t don't stink but they do-so much so that many of these heifers EXPECT the same weird boys that either ignored them in undergrad/maybe smashed a couple of times just to have the black pu**y experience to leave his steady gf/newlywed Becky and marry her so they can be a power couple/she can have a couple of his mixed kids w/good hair before she turns 30

THEN after 5-10 years they wanna be able to divorce the weird boy have that alimony and child support and status from him then get with a KS type brotha that checks all the "6s" boxes and doesn't have kids/never been married and is ready to play Babyface to her and take care of her babies with Brad, and after another 5 years with him as a doormat she'll settle for the poor brotha from middle/high school that always pined for her that will love her dirty drawers/drink her bathwater despite her being 45+ completely washed physically and essentially having the mentality of an entitled delusional man



The reality is this-they can't even get to Step 1 of their stupid little fantasy because, ahem, MOST AMERICAN WHITE BOYS DO NOT FIND BLACK WOMEN ATTRACTIVE SINCE THERE'S THIS LITTLE THING CALLED PREJUDICE/RACISM THAT PERMEATES OUR SOCIETY OUTSIDE OF WHAT THE TV/MUSIC/MOVIES TRY TO INDOCTRINATE YOUR DUMB a*s WITH





These broads think that in the era of Trumpism somehow it's all these weird dudes out here just itching to get with and wife up black girls smh

I really only have seen those yuppie WBs sporting black girls that were model gorgeous and on the racially ambiguous/no n*ggas tip that prolly have one self-hating negro parent and another white one that trained them to be a glorified bedwench

The strong-jaw line type white boys that come from money and can pull attractive white/asian/white latin girls for the most part DO NOT FW black girls like that for many reasons and many of them aren't even overtly racist

It could be that they will date a black girl for a couple months in undergrad but are given the heads up from their family/friends that he better drop her or he will be cut off socially/financially; another likely reason is that he simply likes fu*king black girls but between his black male friends putting him on game/experiencing how many of them are (including the so-called good ones that usually aresl*ts on the low just front like they're sanctified because they tryna get in the circle of affluent whites) he sees they're recreational use only and will keep one or two around as sidepieces but won't wife one and will avoid impregnating one


The only type of weird dude that knocks up/wifes up a bee dub is usually a bottom-shelf brad that gets with something most brothas won't touch with a stick or he's basically a pushover/quasi-cuck that lets the broad wear the pants in the relationship because he loves some brown sugar that much and is so happy to be able to sniff her draws/titty residue out of the pantry like from that old Dave Chapelle skit

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Now-as far as Step 2 is concerned-we know how that goes...

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Maybe the young KS was swagged out enough to hit in undergrad-maybe not-but either way the ABW def played him green like she could get him later on in life and that simply ain't gonna happen cuz buddy not checkin for her later on in life besides to maybe smash a few times, especially if he is highly successful

And now to Step 3-the 90s stepdaddy program...See here is where BW have fu*ked up-they let third wave feminism/metoo gas 'em up to the point where us average brothas are starting to wake up and realize we shouldn't be waiting in the wings to be a rug for a BW to be able to trample on after sullying herself out in the world then coming back to us used up like a dirty rag, now we on to find BW of other cultures in foreign lands that are younger prettier nicer submissive wife material without kids


So literally everything that these bitter old broads/Americana as a whole is feeding to ABW 18-45 years of age is doomed to keep them working for these companies until they're phased out by age or automation and then they will have nothing but maybe being lipstick lesbians to fall back on


Stupid bi*ches smh

itsamefabio said Whole bunch of victim mentality. Luckily my daughter won’t bring home any drug dealers cause I taught her morals. Guess your dad was busy that day along with the day you were taught you are to be a criminal.

You made another account?

yunghuss973 said Being the white mans lapdog/sidekick don’t mean he want you like that. Netflix and Disney lied.

I’m sure they’re looking at Asian women and Latina women sideways since those women still get married despite racial differences but they don’t

Teknicks said Systemic racism is real man.. Creates a lot of internal and external forces.. How many dudes you know working a regular job or going to school and avoid check points like they trappin? In my early twenties I had to budget fake tickets from profiling cops into my expenses.. Like ok I I'll prolly get $500-1000 in bullshyt tickets this year.. Also, the culture glorifies criminality because we're made to be criminals.. If cops are bad drug dealers must be good.. So they date a few drug dealers before they realize the boring a*s engineer was the one that's gonna take the to a different country every summer.. Often times it's too late.. Business as usual in AmeriKKKa

You put more thought into this summary than I could have done, kudos.