2,085
 

Trauma | 10 Years in Psycho-Therapy



ADVERTISEMENT
 
topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot 3X PLAT




section  x4   |  0 bx goons and 4 bystanders Share this on Twitter       Share this on Facebook

section health
  
 1 month ago '14        #1
4950 page views
70 comments


FullStackDev 
avatar
Props total: 1797 1 K  Slaps total: 226 226
Trauma | 10 Years in Psycho-Therapy
 

 
Mental health seems to be popping up everywhere, sharing my experience; hope it helps.

I got divorced a while back, therapy was critical. It wasn’t so much the relationship events, big or small, those didn’t really matter in the end. What matters is the integrity of the foundation you build with someone you love, that is the most important thing.

I believed that if a relationship starts on a strong foundation it should last forever. I didn’t realize that while this conceptually aligns well with inanimate objects people aren’t immutable. People change and if you build a foundation around the variables or characteristics that you cherish in another, you will have to rebuild that foundation over and over again (if forever is the goal).

At the time, I was convinced I knew what love was, I knew what passion was, I knew what commitment was and I was confident that I could discern between all three. I did not however know what trauma was, and I was staring down the barrel of my 30s , completely unable to reconcile the role of trauma in my life.

Where was it? Where the hell was the trauma hiding. According to my therapist, it was fu*king everywhere.

Trauma in the color of my skin
Trauma in the size and shape of my body
Trauma in my childhood
Trauma in my friendships
Trauma in my family
Trauma in my ancestry
Trauma in the news
Trauma in the White House
Trauma in my job
Trauma in my face mask
Trauma in the efficacy of my existence

Apparently, the reason why we’re so ignorant to all this trauma is because fear underpins our ability to be a trauma informed society…TRAUMA INFORMED. I had never heard that term before…it seems so proactive…right? Being informed about anything means you have more data and likely more tools to allow you to react in a manner that indexes towards healthy outcomes. Being informed about trauma is ultimately the only way to combat trauma and trauma is ubiquitous…it’s literally everywhere.

Trauma for all its muster and confusion is a fairly straightforward equation especially when solving for love. Every time you lose someone or something that you love, you gain trauma. Trauma is an additive property, unlike love which is a transitive property, an expression. If you think about this equation you realize how easy it is to add trauma to an expression of love.

Anyway I’ve been in therapy for like a decade now and I can’t recommend it enough. I don’t know who out there needs to be informed of trauma but I’m providing this data in hopes that it can help you find a tool to deal with all the trauma we experience as a collective.

Emphasis on WE. We’re all in this together, we are all affected.
+53   



best
worst
70 comments
 

 1 month ago '06        #2
illathruz  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x1
Props total: 14172 14 K  Slaps total: 2853 2 K
Everybody is different and therapy is really great for many people.

I'm not so sure that I would go so far as labeling everything trauma. I say that because of what I remember from a book I read a while ago and also when looking at our ancestors.

Just so we're all on the same page, the American psychological a*sociation says "Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, r*pe, or natural disaster. " Depending on how you define a terrible event, trauma can happen at any time. Trauma is an emotional response and we can't measure it with some machine - so if you drop your ice cream while eating it, yes you can have trauma.

I read Escape From Freedom by Erich Fromm which was about how people don't really want to be free deep down. Freedom is scary, you're responsible for your outcomes, you start to realize how little control you have over major events, and at the end of the day people have said they want freedom while totally being okay with a dictator telling them what to do.

As black people, we have a slew of ancestors who despite trauma and despite a lack of freedom still persevered. Look at Toussaint Louverture. He's a shining example, but a more banal example might be 50 Cent.

Anyways, thanks for sharing your story, and I'm sorry to seem like a grump. I just believe that being told you are a victim of trauma isn't mutually exclusive from persevering through trauma. But having this kind of mindset might prevent you from allowing yourself to naturally overcome the trauma. For example
. I don't have any evidence, but what if this kind of psychological help backfired in a way that we can't measure?
+19   

 1 month ago '15        #3
Hellmatic 
Props total: 57902 57 K  Slaps total: 5201 5 K
A lot of people deal with trauma and they might not notice it or don't notice it till its too late. As kids/teens we say or do fu*ked up sh*t to each to each other, as adults we might deal with breakups, people not giving you any leeway to get over as you're just tryna make a living, betrayal, and other things. Tyson is still dealing with childhood trauma





Last edited by Hellmatic; 05-21-2022 at 08:13 PM..
+7   

 1 month ago '15        #4
Hellmatic 
Props total: 57902 57 K  Slaps total: 5201 5 K
I'm reading the book feeling good since my primary doctor recommended it. She always has good books to recommend as far as self help and psychology stuff




+11   

 1 month ago '15        #5
Hellmatic 
Props total: 57902 57 K  Slaps total: 5201 5 K
 illathruz said
Everybody is different and therapy is really great for many people.

I'm not so sure that I would go so far as labeling everything trauma. I say that because of what I remember from a book I read a while ago and also when looking at our ancestors.

Just so we're all on the same page, the American psychological a*sociation says "Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, r*pe, or natural disaster. " Depending on how you define a terrible event, trauma can happen at any time. Trauma is an emotional response and we can't measure it with some machine - so if you drop your ice cream while eating it, yes you can have trauma.

I read Escape From Freedom by Erich Fromm which was about how people don't really want to be free deep down. Freedom is scary, you're responsible for your outcomes, you start to realize how little control you have over major events, and at the end of the day people have said they want freedom while totally being okay with a dictator telling them what to do.

As black people, we have a slew of ancestors who despite trauma and despite a lack of freedom still persevered. Look at Toussaint Louverture. He's a shining example, but a more banal example might be 50 Cent.

Anyways, thanks for sharing your story, and I'm sorry to seem like a grump. I just believe that being told you are a victim of trauma isn't mutually exclusive from persevering through trauma. But having this kind of mindset might prevent you from allowing yourself to naturally overcome the trauma. For example
. I don't have any evidence, but what if this kind of psychological help backfired in a way that we can't measure?
Ironic you mention 50. His/Robert Greene book the 50th law can be used to deal or to prevent certain traumas from affecting you as much since the book is about fear. I'm not a 50 Stan in any way shape or form but I always recommend that book, and it's not even robert Greene best book but it's very specific in its topic. They even made it in form to look like a bible
+5   

 1 month ago '07        #6
Bullseye 
Props total: 10404 10 K  Slaps total: 2168 2 K
Thanks for sharing and keep it up. I'm in my 5th year of therapy and I won't lie... that sh*t turned my life around. I'm not perfect but I'm many levels beyond where I was when I started. My communication, my career, my relationships... everything leveled up. And still trending UP!
+13   

 1 month ago '17        #7
2007 
Props total: 28601 28 K  Slaps total: 7907 7 K
Bad decisions dont qualify as trauma.
+11   

 1 month ago '18        #8
Mr Tibbs 
Props total: 33674 33 K  Slaps total: 3136 3 K

+1   

 1 month ago '17        #9
Pretty Tone 
Props total: 58801 58 K  Slaps total: 4605 4 K
A co worker committed suicide a couple weeks ago. sh*t was shocking and sad. I try to keep myself entertained with hobbies and try not to let the stress of the world get to me. About to buy a camera so I can ride my bike around d and explore the city and take photos. Might make a thread on bc to share
+21   

 1 month ago '17        #10
Pretty Tone 
Props total: 58801 58 K  Slaps total: 4605 4 K
 Hellmatic said
A lot of people deal with trauma and they might not notice it or don't notice it till its too late. As kids/teens we say or do fu*ked up sh*t to each to each other, as adults we might deal with breakups, people not giving you any leeway to get over as you're just tryna make a living, betrayal, and other things. Tyson is still dealing with childhood trauma



I love this dude man one of the realest individuals to walk the earth
+8   

 1 month ago '16        #11
ELAH MENTAT 
Props total: 26464 26 K  Slaps total: 2070 2 K
 2007 said
Bad decisions dont qualify as trauma.
I feel the same.

Choices are the issue…

Trauma is war, hunger and pain inflicted upon children and women.

Unfortunately, men must go within and solve problems internally and sublimate pain into action.

+10   

 1 month ago '05        #12
That Dude 
Props total: 15965 15 K  Slaps total: 1838 1 K
 2007 said
Bad decisions dont qualify as trauma.
facts! I need people to stop lying to themselves, look in the mirror and take accountability. Simple
+5   

 1 month ago '17        #13
Its 
Props total: 40048 40 K  Slaps total: 2993 2 K
My answer to my trauma is lsd and learning to forgive myself.
I was reliving transgressions over and over again in my head torturing myself. Had to forgive me for that and stop trying to keep score.i was overlooking all the blessings I have, and reminiscing on every single perceived loss. And when I tried letting them go that habit was so strong, I'd talk to myself to get passed whatever or tell myself to chill, then suddenly remember sh*t from 3rdgrade that upset me lol and smh.that sh*t beyond crazy, cause I'm blessed like a muhfu*ka man
I'm thankful af for psychedelics lol
Helped me keep that sh*t habit at bay
+14   

 1 month ago '15        #14
Hellmatic 
Props total: 57902 57 K  Slaps total: 5201 5 K
 Pretty Tone said
A co worker committed suicide a couple weeks ago. sh*t was shocking and sad. I try to keep myself entertained with hobbies and try not to let the stress of the world get to me. About to buy a camera so I can ride my bike around d and explore the city and take photos. Might make a thread on bc to share
For sure man. Tag me in I'm tryna get into photography too. Eventually I wanna shoot girls

I'm thinking of getting a fuji pro x2 for the aesthetic
+4   

 1 month ago '21        #15
F12  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x12
Props total: 10352 10 K  Slaps total: 5531 5 K
 ELAH MENTAT said
I feel the same.

Choices are the issue…

Trauma is war, hunger and pain inflicted upon children and women.

Unfortunately, men must go within and solve problems internally and sublimate pain into action.

You think other people's decisions don't effect you? Lol. You think hurricanes, earthquakes, and pandemics etc give a fukk about your decision making?
+1   

 1 month ago '21        #16
F12  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x12
Props total: 10352 10 K  Slaps total: 5531 5 K
 Its said
My answer to my trauma is lsd and learning to forgive myself.
I was reliving transgressions over and over again in my head torturing myself. Had to forgive me for that and stop trying to keep score.i was overlooking all the blessings I have, and reminiscing on every single perceived loss. And when I tried letting them go that habit was so strong, I'd talk to myself to get passed whatever or tell myself to chill, then suddenly remember sh*t from 3rdgrade that upset me lol and smh.that sh*t beyond crazy, cause I'm blessed like a muhfu*ka man
I'm thankful af for psychedelics lol
Helped me keep that sh*t habit at bay

I keep hearing about LSD in a good way.
+1   

 1 month ago '16        #17
aquisite04  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x7
Props total: 20492 20 K  Slaps total: 2106 2 K
@ ayo keep ya chin up bruh and forgive yourself..the first step is accountability..you already did that now it's time to relieve yourself of your guilt & pain. You got this...
@ @
I see y'all said y'all went to therapy...as a man and especially a black man, to blindly open up to and trust some random a*s stranger with vulnerable painful thoughts & ideas is a death sentence. It's already hard enough wanting and yearning for someone to vent to and find comfort without it being thrown in your face or hung over your head..

Exposing your weaknesses to someone is something that gives me anxiety & stresses me out..how did y'all reconcile your apprehensions & how do you find a quality therapists?

Thank everyone for their views on thia topic
+13   

 1 month ago '07        #18
yola  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x81
Props total: 114246 114 K  Slaps total: 15713 15 K
 FullStackDev said
Anyway I’ve been in therapy for like a decade now and I can’t recommend it enough.
therapy can be helpful if you're fortunate enough to be able to afford a "therapist" and lucky enough to find one that isn't collecting an easy check and actually knows something instead of just reciting cliche platitudes

10 years, and who knows how much money, is way too long for the level and quality of knowledge you're expressing

i could've got you there in less than 2

someone is milking the clock and charging you to be your friend

it's important to understand that most therapists are just poorly read, privileged college graduate, social workers with no work or life experiences that recycle social media memes

therapists are like a TV show, they take 3-4X as long to do the same thing as a movie

they have no incentive to truly help anyone because that k*lls the revenue stream

it's all about getting money and feeling significant
+10   

 1 month ago '20        #19
Rap Chroma 
Props total: 751 751  Slaps total: 455 455
 FullStackDev said
Mental health seems to be popping up everywhere, sharing my experience; hope it helps.

I got divorced a while back, therapy was critical. It wasn’t so much the relationship events, big or small, those didn’t really matter in the end. What matters is the integrity of the foundation you build with someone you love, that is the most important thing.

I believed that if a relationship starts on a strong foundation it should last forever. I didn’t realize that while this conceptually aligns well with inanimate objects people aren’t immutable. People change and if you build a foundation around the variables or characteristics that you cherish in another, you will have to rebuild that foundation over and over again (if forever is the goal).

At the time, I was convinced I knew what love was, I knew what passion was, I knew what commitment was and I was confident that I could discern between all three. I did not however know what trauma was, and I was staring down the barrel of my 30s , completely unable to reconcile the role of trauma in my life.

Where was it? Where the hell was the trauma hiding. According to my therapist, it was fu*king everywhere.

Trauma in the color of my skin
Trauma in the size and shape of my body
Trauma in my childhood
Trauma in my friendships
Trauma in my family
Trauma in my ancestry
Trauma in the news
Trauma in the White House
Trauma in my job
Trauma in my face mask
Trauma in the efficacy of my existence

Apparently, the reason why we’re so ignorant to all this trauma is because fear underpins our ability to be a trauma informed society…TRAUMA INFORMED. I had never heard that term before…it seems so proactive…right? Being informed about anything means you have more data and likely more tools to allow you to react in a manner that indexes towards healthy outcomes. Being informed about trauma is ultimately the only way to combat trauma and trauma is ubiquitous…it’s literally everywhere.

Trauma for all its muster and confusion is a fairly straightforward equation especially when solving for love. Every time you lose someone or something that you love, you gain trauma. Trauma is an additive property, unlike love which is a transitive property, an expression. If you think about this equation you realize how easy it is to add trauma to an expression of love.

Anyway I’ve been in therapy for like a decade now and I can’t recommend it enough. I don’t know who out there needs to be informed of trauma but I’m providing this data in hopes that it can help you find a tool to deal with all the trauma we experience as a collective.

Emphasis on WE. We’re all in this together, we are all affected.
Trauma isn't universal.

Some people get r*ped and hang their heads, others travel the world and tell their story to help others.

So many layers but most is personal. Our own value systems determine our happiness as well as other factors. But what is traumatizing to you, isn't to me based on your list.

Even if you look at race... Was created like 600 years ago, but factual for some.

Some people look at their wife and will want to shoot everything up if she sleeps w somebody, some people share wives.

A good therapist in my eyes will help you peel back that so you can not reflect on trauma and it's impact, but instead reflect on why you feel like the experience itself should even be considered traumatic.
+6   

Top 10 most propped recently  1 month ago '16        #20
kuul  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x11
Props total: 131661 131 K  Slaps total: 14228 14 K
I had the thought one day that ive probably had some level of depression since i was a child. Then i had the thought that its gone so long untreated that would it be safe to start tampering with therapy or my brain after all this time. Im not really sure how i go about it but i always look for therapeutic information and perspectives. Another thing i do is if i feel like sh*t, ill lean into it until i figure out what triggered me and then i move on. sh*t gets way too stressful and i usually try to keep sh*t movin. Ive tried therapy a few different ways but it was never with anybody black so i think thats why it didnt work out.
+2   

 1 month ago '06        #21
philly337  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x1
Props total: 59950 59 K  Slaps total: 17092 17 K
 Its said
My answer to my trauma is lsd and learning to forgive myself.
I was reliving transgressions over and over again in my head torturing myself. Had to forgive me for that and stop trying to keep score.i was overlooking all the blessings I have, and reminiscing on every single perceived loss. And when I tried letting them go that habit was so strong, I'd talk to myself to get passed whatever or tell myself to chill, then suddenly remember sh*t from 3rdgrade that upset me lol and smh.that sh*t beyond crazy, cause I'm blessed like a muhfu*ka man
I'm thankful af for psychedelics lol
Helped me keep that sh*t habit at bay
You didn't have a bad trip doing lsd when you was in that depressed or dark state?
+5   

 1 month ago '20        #22
Jimmy2times 
Props total: 28615 28 K  Slaps total: 2491 2 K
 2007 said
Bad decisions dont qualify as trauma.
Trauma plays a big role in the making of bad decisions tho. Self worth and self respect are not inherent. They're developed traits.
+4   

 1 month ago '20        #23
Jimmy2times 
Props total: 28615 28 K  Slaps total: 2491 2 K
 Its said
My answer to my trauma is lsd and learning to forgive myself.
I was reliving transgressions over and over again in my head torturing myself. Had to forgive me for that and stop trying to keep score.i was overlooking all the blessings I have, and reminiscing on every single perceived loss. And when I tried letting them go that habit was so strong, I'd talk to myself to get passed whatever or tell myself to chill, then suddenly remember sh*t from 3rdgrade that upset me lol and smh.that sh*t beyond crazy, cause I'm blessed like a muhfu*ka man
I'm thankful af for psychedelics lol
Helped me keep that sh*t habit at bay
Acid n shrooms changed my life. I encourage anyone currently or potentially taking SSRI's and other pharmaceutical dogsh*t to try these first. If you've never done any psychedelics, words cannot express how closed your mind is and theres practically nothing that can shed light on the information you're missing.
+2   

 1 month ago '21        #24
F12  topics gone triple plat - Number 1 spot x12
Props total: 10352 10 K  Slaps total: 5531 5 K
 yola said
therapy can be helpful if you're fortunate enough to be able to afford a "therapist" and lucky enough to find one that isn't collecting an easy check and actually knows something instead of just reciting cliche platitudes

10 years, and who knows how much money, is way too long for the level and quality of knowledge you're expressing

i could've got you there in less than 2

someone is milking the clock and charging you to be your friend

it's important to understand that most therapists are just poorly read, privileged college graduate, social workers with no work or life experiences that recycle social media memes

therapists are like a TV show, they take 3-4X as long to do the same thing as a movie

they have no incentive to truly help anyone because that k*lls the revenue stream

it's all about getting money and feeling significant
He sounds like he got a great therapist. They don't need the money breh. They're usually booked up for months. It's easier for therapist to cut loose after a few years rather than be held accountable for their own therapy.

Don't die on this hill. Think it through.
+2   

 1 month ago '17        #25
Its 
Props total: 40048 40 K  Slaps total: 2993 2 K
 philly337 said
You didn't have a bad trip doing lsd when you was in that depressed or dark state?
I been Microdosing for the past few months
I haven't had a trip at all yet, good or bad.
I'm also wired different than most ppl, percs and vicodin etc don't get me high, all lsd has done so far is make me laugh like a muhfu*ka as soon as I take it lol.
+2   



Sign me up
 
 

yesterday...


most viewed right now
online now  19
AEWxNJPW Forbidden Door 6/26/22
931 comments
1 day ago
@misc
most viewed right now
+85online now  18
Got a Tesla to match my Tesla
73 comments
1 day ago
@rides
most viewed right now
+41online now  7
OT USA sprinter, Noah Lyles, clowns heavily favored, Erri..
77 comments
1 day ago
@sports
most viewed right now
+22online now  4
Youtube channel recommendations?
92 comments
2 days ago
@tech
back to top
register register Follow BX @ Twitter search BX privacyprivacy