Just had to get these thoughts out about Nip

just let me get mine off and you can slap away if you want…

I first got into Nipsey from the joint with him and Drake, but was blown away by his verse on Fountain of Youth. As much as I thought he was a dope West Coast rapper, I became invested after seeing a couple of his interviews and hearing about the $100 mixtape.

Sunday morning I woke up to go to the gym and I said, "I’m playing Nipsey to get my workout started"….my phone died before I got to the gym so I went to the yoga studio section to do my warm up and to play Nipsey on the iPad that connects to a large screen TV for video classes while I charged it. First video I played on youtube was “Last time that I checc’d” …just hearing "there was no smut on my rep” I just thought about how honorable Nipsey came across. I thought about how I downloaded “the way of the superior man” because Nipsey mentioned that Lauren London gave it to him to read and it changed his outlook on life. How his ventures into tech and teaching kids how to code coincided with my own company that I had started and my goals to create opportunities for people who look like me in tech that others didn’t want to give them. I thought about how Victory Lap should’ve won the Grammy and as the song came to an end I had a crazy thought….

“It’s fu#ked up Nip never gonna get the same love on another album again, that’s all you get in this game, they love one album and they nitpick the rest..”

I walked over to the iPad to turn on Hustle and Motivate and saw Double Up was next on the AutoPlay. Double Up aint even one of my favorites on the album, but I really just wanted to see if this n1gga Belly was really hitting them high notes on “Who knewwww?” When it loaded I saw it was 11 minutes long and almost went change it because I need the tunes…but I let it go. I watched Nip walk into a multimillion dollar house with his chains on and no shirt and laughed saying to myself “I bet this n1gga would do some sh1t like that in real life too.”

"never let a hard time humble us”…I started another set of HIIT as soon as the music started. Shouted out my favorite line from his first verse…”Was you born in the 80’s, did your momma smoke cocaine”. sh1t was too smooth to work out to, but watching the video made the song come off 10x better than it did every time I heard it in the car. For some reason when Dom said “Your response is the reason you exist”, it made me think about GKMC. I stopped and had to admit to myself “I’m an East Coast n1gga that grew up on Beanie Sigel and Jay and Fab, hated Pac for years because of the Biggie sh1t and right now my favorite rap music is coming from Nipsey and TDE.’ I finished up my last set just as the video was going off and Nipsey was introducing Lauren London to his new “girl”. My phone was charged up, I started to play hustle and motivate but decided I was gonna stay with Double Up in my head for the rest of the day, I pulled up Mastermind and just let it run through for the rest of my workout. I spent the rest of the day repeating “I aint telling no lies. i just run it up”….

I was on BX when I saw something about Nipsey getting shot. But when I saw 6 times, I just kept saying “Not Nip, can’t be happening to this dude right now”, I watched the whole thing play out on twitter, from the reports that someone died to the confirmation it was Nip. It ruined my night. I spent the rest of the night reading reports, seeing people make up conspiracy theories and blame it on Al-Queda, the catholic church and Enron because of the Dr Sebi documentary. I felt it was all disrespectful to a man who just got killed in front of his daughter.

I posted on here that after I saw the Game video of him driving down Slauson it broke me. I aint know this n1gga Nipsey, but hearing the pain in Game’s voice hit me differently. Maybe it was hearing a Blood shed tears for a Crip or maybe it was the fact I just kept thinking about being gunned down in front of your daughter in broad daylight in front of your own business just seemed like something that couple only happen to a young black man in America, I choked up a little. I respected this dude, I held him in a high regard. Not just as a rapper but as a man. It fu#ked me up to see him go out like that.

Since it the video came out and we know what happened, I’m starting to come to terms with the whole thing. I haven’t been able to play a Nipsey song since I heard he got shot. All I can do is repeat lyrics in my head. One of the things that hit me this morning was this idea that Nipsey didn’t deserve what happened to him. It’s been on my head all day. Not because I know either way, but because I don’t.

I believe in universal law. We all die and there’s no right or wrong time to go, it’s just time. I think about the good that Nipsey did for his community and the opportunities he may have created before he was killed. I honestly feel like Nipsey will die in vain. Everything that he worked for will fall apart. Greed and self centeredness will creep in and destroy what he’s built. The Pharaoh has been killed and the kingdom will go with him. I hope I’m wrong but I just don’t believe that just anyone is built for what Nipsey was trying to accomplish….that brings me to my last point.

I’ve been wondering if this is the karmic response to what Nipsey put into the world. We know who he was recently, but we also know what he was before. This was not a studio gangsta. Nipsey was on those trips and took those rides and he may have been the cause of a child being raised without a dad too. We understand that’s the life you live in those situations. And maybe the good he was doing was to fix the wrongs he had already committed, but was it enough?

We’ll never know, my only hope is that Nipsey was able to settle his tab before his number came up. Only we know on what side of the ledger we are with Karma. If Nipsey felt like he made his amends with his past before he left, then his death is just the completion of the circle. If he didn’t, then he was never meant to. There’s no lesson to be learned in his death, but homie left a lot of jewels in the way he carried himself as a man.

Today’s world won’t allow you to die a hero, so the best thing for us all to do is to live doing good so that when we go, we are good with ourselves. I hope Nip was good with himself, but homie was A1 with me.

to Thundercat aka Neighborhood Nip

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