May 3 - No Spank You: The Harmful Impact of Physically Disciplining Your Kids

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 5 years ago '11        #101
Tony Franks 6 heat pts
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 Decan45 said:
Look dude, bottom line is this... Not every child is going to be so attached at the hip to their parents that they'll look to them for all the answers. YOU may have been naturally inclined to conform to your surroundings and respect everything that ever came out of your parents' mouths, but not every child is wired like that. I sure wasn't. At the end of the day, a lot of what you're trying to teach your children is a bunch of sh*t you either made up or was passed onto you when you were young. Some of it is self-evident, such as morality and such, but much of it is simply culture, customary, and in many cases philosophical. You can't MAKE a child that doesn't respect your opinion, respect your opinion, simply by repeating your opinions ad nauseum. Some children need to be shown like, "HEY! You are NOT the fu*king center of the universe, and you WILL do what I say, because it's for your own good that you're too young and stupid to realize, or else I will physically force you!"

Obviously you don't have to curse at them, but that's the message that's conveyed by a proper spanking.
All these a.ssumptions...do they come from not reading. I'm pretty sure my first posts says the opposite of me following along with what my parents said, hence always being on punishment.

Why does a kid not respect their parent's opinion in the first place. I just can't believe that I would be in a position like that with my child. Cuz id be a good parent.

And if u think popping a child once to get their attention is the same as spankings or beatings then that's cool. I don't, but whatever.
 5 years ago '04        #102
certifiedplaya1 3 heat pts
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all the white people i know spank their kids but im from texas , could be a southern thing
 5 years ago '07        #103
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 Tony Franks said:
For real, it seems that everyone just tries to justify the way they were raised. People cant stand the thought of something they are doing being wrong, or something thats been done to them being wrong.

Its the same reason children that were molested often end up growing to be child predators themselves. They internalize and make the event ok in their minds cuz it has to be ok for them to live with the shame or whatever comes with that.

But you see people dont want a child being rewarded for sh*t, but thats just cuz you didnt get anything and now dont wanna see someone else get something that your parents felt you didnt deserve. (i didnt get rewarded nor praised for accomplishments either, but think that was kinda sh*tty since someone was quick to put me on punishment if i fu*ked up. Negative reinforcement is not the way imo)

You dont wanna see people try and talk to their kids and punish them in a less-angry manner because no one thought you were worthy of that. Plus people need to feel like they are alright. Everything that was done to them is ok and they are the best that they can possibly be because of it. Absolutely no problems in their lives can be from any of these things.

They are normal...
wrong based on what?because some lily white person chooses to put they kid on timeout,instead of whoopin a.ss,that makes it wrong lol.anybody who agrees wit non-physical discipline cant possibly deal wit any kids outside of their own

as somebody who works in tha nyc public school system,i see tha effects of no a.ss whoopings everyday.i was scared to death to curse in front of an adult as a child or pre-teen.u tell a kid to watch they mouth,a kid will look at u like your crazy.even tha toughest kids growin up had respect not to curse in front of adults.i see kids failing every damn class comin to school wit new sneakers every week,kids tellin adults what they not gonna do.this sh*t is crazy,and its by careful design.once that ability to discipline is takin away,u get an outta control generation who have a false sense of entitlement
 5 years ago '07        #104
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 Decan45 said:
Not buying it. Despite how many little heathens I've seen running around acting crazy in public, I've never even seen a kid cuss his parents in public period, regardless of race... But you've conveniently seen multiple white kids do this? Fairy tales...

[video - click to view]

 5 years ago '10        #105
chenderson12 43 heat pts43
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difference between beatings and teaching a lesson... Alot people think beatings are the answer and all it will lead to is the kid getting used to it.. and no longer being scared of it which will lead to ________
 05-05-2013, 10:56 AM         #106
ManWithoutFear! 
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 r.burgundy said:
wrong based on what?because some lily white person chooses to put they kid on timeout,instead of whoopin a.ss,that makes it wrong lol.anybody who agrees wit non-physical discipline cant possibly deal wit any kids outside of their own

as somebody who works in tha nyc public school system,i see tha effects of no a.ss whoopings everyday.i was scared to death to curse in front of an adult as a child or pre-teen.u tell a kid to watch they mouth,a kid will look at u like your crazy.even tha toughest kids growin up had respect not to curse in front of adults.i see kids failing every damn class comin to school wit new sneakers every week,kids tellin adults what they not gonna do.this sh*t is crazy,and its by careful design.once that ability to discipline is takin away,u get an outta control generation who have a false sense of entitlement
One of the realest posts right here.
Props
My cousin was just saying this same thing the other day.
But you KNOW one of these weirdos are gonna challenge you though lol
 5 years ago '07        #107
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 chenderson12 said:
difference between beatings and teaching a lesson... Alot people think beatings are the answer and all it will lead to is the kid getting used to it.. and no longer being scared of it which will lead to ________
a beating is a consequence of an action.u teach a kid tha responsibility of their actions at an early stage.any kid would rather go sit in a corner than they get they a.ss whooped.what do u think a kid is more likely to grow used to
 5 years ago '07        #108
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 ManWithoutFear! said:
One of the realest posts right here.
Props
My cousin was just saying this same thing the other day.
But you KNOW one of these weirdos are gonna challenge you though lol
they cant challenge what i say because i work wit kids lol.they wanna talk about puttin their sissy kid in a corner lol.come to tha hood and tell a kid sit in a corner lol
 05-05-2013, 11:15 AM         #109
ManWithoutFear! 
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 r.burgundy said:
they cant challenge what i say because i work wit kids lol.they wanna talk about puttin their sissy kid in a corner lol.come to tha hood and tell a kid sit in a corner lol
Lol I swear.
At some point in time all that respect just got lost.
I still feel uncomfortable with cursing in front of my parents. Lol
 5 years ago '07        #110
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 ManWithoutFear! said:
Lol I swear.
At some point in time all that respect just got lost.
I still feel uncomfortable with cursing in front of my parents. Lol
it got lost because because tha ability to discipline has been stripped away,so now kids have nothin to fear.they dont fear sittin in a corner.tha scariest words a kid could ever hear growin up was "im gonna call your mother at work".that sh*t dont work no more.ive seen a parent get upset wit a teacher for makin her come up to tha school for what she called a "minor issue"
 5 years ago '11        #111
KushGotMeFaded 
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I used to get the sh*t kicked out of me by my father. If I mentioned some of the things he did, yall would probably call the feds. But with that being said I was a bad a.ss kid growing up and after one too many right hooks to the jaw I stopped being a lil badass bcuz I got tired of getting beat up. In my opinion it all depends on the child. I had tough skin. I took my beatings and kept it moving. If my parents tried any other way of disciplining me Im positive I would be locked up.
 5 years ago '11        #112
acclaimedknives 63 heat pts63
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physical discipline does not guarantee respect for authority
and it creates respect for authority based on fear not on the authorities' merits

I was disciplined as a child and am not automatically scared or respectful of authority as a result
 5 years ago '11        #113
Tony Franks 6 heat pts
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 r.burgundy said:
wrong based on what?because some lily white person chooses to put they kid on timeout,instead of whoopin a.ss,that makes it wrong lol.anybody who agrees wit non-physical discipline cant possibly deal wit any kids outside of their own

as somebody who works in tha nyc public school system,i see tha effects of no a.ss whoopings everyday.i was scared to death to curse in front of an adult as a child or pre-teen.u tell a kid to watch they mouth,a kid will look at u like your crazy.even tha toughest kids growin up had respect not to curse in front of adults.i see kids failing every damn class comin to school wit new sneakers every week,kids tellin adults what they not gonna do.this sh*t is crazy,and its by careful design.once that ability to discipline is takin away,u get an outta control generation who have a false sense of entitlement
Lol, we all keep having this same issue of a.ssumptions and us just using our small personal experience to say what's good for da next. But u really don't know why the kids in that school act the way they do. I'm truly willing to bet my next paycheck that there is way more needs not being met in their homes, and not just they need to be physically punished.

Take my cousin for example, his weeks/weekends are filled with him taking his daughter to gymnastics, his sons to basketball practice. He knows where his children are at all times and he is making sure they get the love and discipline they need. My brother handles his family in a similar way.

I can bet u that they won't have the problems from their kids that u see in the kids in that school. And neither of them are about physical punishment.

But people gonna do what they do. Just cuz u spank someone, its not gonna make them automatically respect you or other authority, nor will it automatically cause them psychological damage. And just cuz u don't spank them, it doesn't mean they will be disobedient, nor will it make them soft.

Each situation will be different, but I guess I'm just a hippy who believes that love, patience, and compassion are the best ways of reaching people.
 5 years ago '12        #114
Taste Maker 29 heat pts29
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 S.TEX said:
kids need they dads in their lives not beatings.
amen
 5 years ago '07        #115
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 Tony Franks said:
Lol, we all keep having this same issue of a.ssumptions and us just using our small personal experience to say what's good for da next. But u really don't know why the kids in that school act the way they do. I'm truly willing to bet my next paycheck that there is way more needs not being met in their homes, and not just they need to be physically punished.

Take my cousin for example, his weeks/weekends are filled with him taking his daughter to gymnastics, his sons to basketball practice. He knows where his children are at all times and he is making sure they get the love and discipline they need. My brother handles his family in a similar way.

I can bet u that they won't have the problems from their kids that u see in the kids in that school. And neither of them are about physical punishment.

But people gonna do what they do. Just cuz u spank someone, its not gonna make them automatically respect you or other authority, nor will it automatically cause them psychological damage. And just cuz u don't spank them, it doesn't mean they will be disobedient, nor will it make them soft.

Each situation will be different, but I guess I'm just a hippy who believes that love, patience, and compassion are the best ways of reaching people.
my sample size is pretty large.of course more needs arent bein met.it takes more than a good whoopin to make a good child,and it def takes more than a whoopin to make a good parent.but regardless of what needs arent met at home,if your kid disrespects u at home,then that is gonna carry outside tha home and into everywhere else.

when u live in surburbia,and your situation is comfy,u can afford to parent a certain way because your kids are much less likely to fall victim to certain things.but when your in an inner city enviorment,u dont have that luxury.surburbia cant tell urban parents how to parent,and thats whats really goin on here.
 05-06-2013, 01:36 PM         #116
Tha Problum 
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 r.burgundy said:
wrong based on what?because some lily white person chooses to put they kid on timeout,instead of whoopin a.ss,that makes it wrong lol.anybody who agrees wit non-physical discipline cant possibly deal wit any kids outside of their own

as somebody who works in tha nyc public school system,i see tha effects of no a.ss whoopings everyday.i was scared to death to curse in front of an adult as a child or pre-teen.u tell a kid to watch they mouth,a kid will look at u like your crazy.even tha toughest kids growin up had respect not to curse in front of adults.i see kids failing every damn class comin to school wit new sneakers every week,kids tellin adults what they not gonna do.this sh*t is crazy,and its by careful design.once that ability to discipline is takin away,u get an outta control generation who have a false sense of entitlement
Cosign. I'm a grown man, moved out, pay for my own everything tuition included never asked my parents for a dime past 15. & To this very day I struggle to curse in front of my mom, and just use my vocabulary to swerve around it. Everyone's different and responds to things in different ways, but I know from my experiences you gotta lay down the law on some of these knuckleheads. With the appropriate level of mental and physical discipline from a parent that can be considered a role model a lot of these idiot kids wouldn't be acting the way they are.
 5 years ago '08        #117
M 2 heat pts
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Just depends on the kid, imo. I can count on one hand how many times I got slapped when I was growing up. The fear of my dad hitting me was enough for me. I raise my kids the same way, I rarely ever have to lay a hand on them.
 5 years ago '04        #118
Decan45 2 heat pts
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 Tony Franks said:
All these a.ssumptions...do they come from not reading. I'm pretty sure my first posts says the opposite of me following along with what my parents said, hence always being on punishment.
Right... And you took your punishment. You put your nose in the corner. You stayed in your room. You did what you were told apparently. That's you. Kids like me didn't. We said fu*k that sh*t and tried to run our own program. My family didn't let that work out for me, and I was better for it in the end.

 Tony Franks said:
Why does a kid not respect their parent's opinion in the first place. I just can't believe that I would be in a position like that with my child. Cuz id be a good parent.
My parents were good parents and I challenged my parent's opinion, thereby disrespecting them, not because I had any intention of disrespect, but because I actually thought I knew better at times. It was not their failure at parenting, it was my tenacious nature in being a stubborn, bull headed little sh*t. Your whole outlook is predicated on your naiveté at raising children. You're a.ssuming you'll be dealing with a passive child. To each his own though, you do you. When you have kids, raise them however you want. But get off your high horse about "abusing" children, because you swat their a.ss when they let their ego override their a.ss. It is the way of the world. You pay for belligerence, on the macro as well as the micro level.

 Tony Franks said:
And if u think popping a child once to get their attention is the same as spankings or beatings then that's cool. I don't, but whatever.
Popping a child with your hand is a spanking, albeit a relatively light one. There's varying degrees of severity.
 5 years ago '04        #119
Decan45 2 heat pts
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 r.burgundy said:
There's an exception to every rule. This video is more so a perfect example of why spankings are a legitimate form of discipline, than it is evidence that white people culturally don't spank their kids. However, as someone else has mentioned in this thread before, I'm from Texas... I don't know what white people do elsewhere, but around my way white kids get lit the fu*k up.
 5 years ago '04        #120
Decan45 2 heat pts
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 ManWithoutFear! said:
Lol I swear.
At some point in time all that respect just got lost.
I still feel uncomfortable with cursing in front of my parents. Lol
Same here... I still don't cuss in front of my mother or my grandmother, out of pure respect.
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