May 3 - No Spank You: The Harmful Impact of Physically Disciplining Your Kids

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 5 years ago '12        #81
Yano 1 heat pts
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 FeedTheBeast said:


Someone with wisdom is a rarity around here......props to you sir.




I agree with the premise of your post but not totally if that makes any sense. I punish AND reward my kids. Good grades and behavior and I give him a little sumthin or I do sumthin for him. Nothing too outlandish. For instance if he asks to go see a movie I tell him I wanna see his report card first. If its good then we go that weekend. If not......no movies AND punishment. I never had to whoop my son for his grades becuz he makes A-B honor roll consistently had a few C's which I don't accept in my house. But when he fu*ks up in other areas...that belt will start swinging with bad intentions. He decided earlier this year that him and his buddies were gonna be class clowns and disrespect the teacher. Needless to say I put fire on dat a.ss......no mo problems with that.

But he has chores and responsibilities that I refuse to give him a dime for. Homework?? Taking out the trash?? Cleaning your room?? That's what you are supposed to do.

But you do get rewarded in life for achievements. At least in a perfect world you should so I try to instill in him that if you work hard and handle business then you get what you want. It's called fruits of labor. And if you slack and don't you don't get sh*t but pain and stress.

So I have a 3 pronged approach.

Responsibilities= do it or suffer the consequences no rewards
Overachieving= rewards and privileges
Underachieving/bad behavior=punishment and/or a.ss whooping

I also have a 3 year old daughter........she gets a little pop too when she acts out. But at that age you have to communicate and be a teacher all day non stop. So I have more patience and tolerance with her becuz she is just a baby and im trying to teach her. But once she gets older??? I hope I don't have to put these hands on her but I will no hesitation.

Great post.
 5 years ago '10        #82
RedLight 7 heat pts
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7char


Last edited by RedLight; 05-05-2013 at 06:05 AM..
 05-04-2013, 04:07 PM         #83
Drone 
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This is so typical when we have these discipline threads. The ones who got there a.ss beat and accomplished something with their life will say how it lead them to stay in line and respect authority figures. Then we got the same ones who got their a.ss kicked but felt it was not necessary and will never hit their kids. The other group got their a.sses handed to them and haven't done sh*t with their lifes and scream "hitting me caused deep psychological damage, ruining me". Then we got the people who just come here to add in their tidbits.

Same old same old.
 5 years ago '08        #84
popsjenkins 26 heat pts26
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 Tony Franks said:
Or, u could let them throw that tantrum, look at them like they are stupid, then take away all their sh*t when they get home. Make them sit in the corner and read.

If they still acting stupid, u could pop them once then tell them again what they need to do. I dont feel like u need to actually beat them. Atleast try something else before u give up and hurt them.
And at that point, you have just spanked your child. You have used violence or physical contact to punish the child. That goes against EVERY OTHER POST you have made in this thread.

No one is saying to "beat", "abuse" or "hurt" the child. You're taking it to the extremes. A good spanking has no rage involved, it is accompanied by an explanation on what just happened and why it happened. And it's usually reserved for extreme situations or when other methods are not effective.
 5 years ago '08        #85
popsjenkins 26 heat pts26
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I miss Teen Summit. This was back when BET was worth something.
 5 years ago '11        #86
Backflipz 84 heat pts84
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I got a.ss whoopins as a child and I have nothing but love for my moms and turned out pretty good.

If it's just belts to the butt I got no problem with it but if you full out brawling with yo kid and using fists then there is an issue.
 5 years ago '04        #87
Decan45 2 heat pts
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The point of spanking kids is not about inflicting physical harm to instill a pavlov's dog response in them. This is an ineffective way of parenting, because not every child will respond to that in a way that leads them to behave. Kids can be very, very different from each other in their nature. What works for one kid, might not necessarily work for the other. Spankings should never be what discipline revolves around, because you are inadvertently teaching the kid that discipline is pain by facilitating an environment where discipline always boils down to nothing but. This is lazy, ignorant and potentially psychologically damaging.

Spanking IS however effective at a number of things. It does have its uses, and there are good times to utilize this method of discipline. I got plenty of spankings as a kid, and they were mostly all for a good reason. I was an extremely hard headed, stubborn child who liked to think for myself. I constantly questioned authority, and I constantly challenged authority when they did not reason with me. It got me in a lot of trouble. However, my parents never whooped me for questioning them. They never whooped me because of something I did accidentally. My parents whooped me when I directly challenged them. They whooped me when I got out of line to the extent that I tried to claim a level of independence which directly undermined their wisdom, knowledge and the care in which they were trying to pass onto me. As I said, in many of these instances, I absolutely deserved it. Some children have a hard time with humility. They are quick to let their ego supersede its boundaries, and this is unacceptable. This is why so many children today have issues with entitlement. They do not have any shame, nor any humility. They are not humble. They think their sh*t doesn't stink, they're smarter than everyone else, and that the world owes them something for being such a fantastic and outstanding human being. They completely and utterly self-absorbed. These kids can go fu*k themselves. That whole attitude can go fu*k itself. Spankings fix that attitude. And to the woman who wrote the article, I say GOOD! I'm glad that spankings promote a certain level of aggression in children! Kids these days are so incredibly soft and weak, it's disgusting. Spankings taught me a lot about myself, and I never once as a kid had the idea in my head that my parents somehow got off on physically abusing me. My parents were both extremely intelligent. I could sense their intentions, and I understood from the get go that these people were trying to make me a better person.

Another valuable lesson that spankings taught me, was how to stand up for what you believe in. The fact that the threat of physical force hung over my head amidst any attempt at mutiny or blatant disobedience, meant that I had to pick and choose my battles. It taught me that there are consequences to your actions, but occasionally you will be either wrongly accused, or otherwise punished irrationally. What I gained from it was a deep sense of integrity, that I would not allow pain to break me from righteousness. If I was right, I was right, and it didn't make a flying fu*k how many licks you put across my a.ss, I was going to remain right in the end. I'm grateful for that. I don't resent one whooping I ever got, right or wrong.

Obviously my story is simply anecdotal evidence, but it is rooted in logic nonetheless. When you do it right, physical force is an important tool in parenting. The world is not a kind place.
 5 years ago '09        #88
420Sosa 4 heat pts
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 Tony Franks said:
I agree with your post, but im not sure about the last statement. But i guess at least they old enough to f!ght back.
At 13 for most children, they start being their own person (hormones kick in) and as that happens they start rebelling, sh*t ain't nothing wrong with that, but they gonna be under peer pressure and start smelling themselves so more den likely they gonna start bucking on you and as they get older if it goes un check dat sh*t gonna get worse to da point dey start physically disciplining u cause you aint listen to them (kinda extreme but u get da point)...

sh*t i just read ya last sentence but yea dats da point basically...
 5 years ago '04        #89
Decan45 2 heat pts
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 Tony Franks said:
Or, u could let them throw that tantrum, look at them like they are stupid, then take away all their sh*t when they get home. Make them sit in the corner and read.

If they still acting stupid, u could pop them once then tell them again what they need to do. I dont feel like u need to actually beat them. Atleast try something else before u give up and hurt them.
What you just described, is called spanking. Congratulations, you just wasted your time posting in this thread.

You obviously don't have any kids.
 5 years ago '11        #90
Backflipz 84 heat pts84
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 TiestoFriendly said:
lol white people wrote this article.

white people don't beat their kids. i be seein white kids act hella disrespectful in front of their parents and i be like if i did any of that sh*t round my mom she'd fu*kin' roundhouse kick me if she could.

ppl raise their kids in different ways. i know i got hella a.ss whoopings but it didn't impact me negatively because it never turned into ABUSE. that's the difference.
All of this

I remember all them lil white kids that would crazy as fu*k, cussin out they parents and throwin temper tantrums and think in my head "My a.ss would not live to tell tomorrow if I tried any of this sh*t"

My mom didn't give me spankings out of anger and emotion.

She'd always carefully explain why I was getting one and would she was doing this out of love not hate. They weren't always immediate and could even be delayed up to a month but she wanted me to understand there was always a punishment for my negative actions.

I remember acting crazy in stores and crying for what I wanted but those spankings set me straight. "Do you wanna go to the bathroom?" was a favorite line of hers
 5 years ago '04        #91
wildout44 
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this generation of kids def need a.ss whoopins
 5 years ago '04        #92
Decan45 2 heat pts
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 Tony Franks said:
I dont have to get a whoopin to see what other people do. Im intelligent.

And you shouldnt have to hit a child to make them afraid of you. Authority figure? Now you are just pulling bullsh*t out your a.ss. fu*k authority, raise a child to do whats smart and best for them, not follow behind some fake a.ss leader.
Look dude, bottom line is this... Not every child is going to be so attached at the hip to their parents that they'll look to them for all the answers. YOU may have been naturally inclined to conform to your surroundings and respect everything that ever came out of your parents' mouths, but not every child is wired like that. I sure wasn't. At the end of the day, a lot of what you're trying to teach your children is a bunch of sh*t you either made up or was passed onto you when you were young. Some of it is self-evident, such as morality and such, but much of it is simply culture, customary, and in many cases philosophical. You can't MAKE a child that doesn't respect your opinion, respect your opinion, simply by repeating your opinions ad nauseum. Some children need to be shown like, "HEY! You are NOT the fu*king center of the universe, and you WILL do what I say, because it's for your own good that you're too young and stupid to realize, or else I will physically force you!"

Obviously you don't have to curse at them, but that's the message that's conveyed by a proper spanking.
 5 years ago '04        #93
Decan45 2 heat pts
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 Frank Hampton said:
All of this

I remember all them lil white kids that would crazy as fu*k, cussin out they parents and throwin temper tantrums and think in my head "My a.ss would not live to tell tomorrow if I tried any of this sh*t"

My mom didn't give me spankings out of anger and emotion.

She'd always carefully explain why I was getting one and would she was doing this out of love not hate. They weren't always immediate and could even be delayed up to a month but she wanted me to understand there was always a punishment for my negative actions.

I remember acting crazy in stores and crying for what I wanted but those spankings set me straight. "Do you wanna go to the bathroom?" was a favorite line of hers
This stereotype is dumb as fu*k. A lot of white people spank their kids... A LOT. It's always this same tired a.ss story people repeat like they were at the grocery store and saw some white kid cussing out their parents. Get the fu*k outta here with that made up bullsh*t. You never saw that. I never saw that. That sh*t is fairy tales. Quit trying to make it sound like white kids are a bunch of wild, crazy, feral kids running around like animals, while black kids be in the grocery store standing at attention and sh*t... Please...

Honestly, I never see white kids OR black kids acting crazy in public.
 5 years ago '10        #94
kiddrocay 27 heat pts27
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lol@ spanking, man I swear I was abused when it came to whoopings
 5 years ago '11        #95
box5 
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My pops rip, whooped my a.ss as a kid and I had respect for his authority for life, these kids today know these rules benefit them so they be acting out. Whitey need to stop thinking all kids are the same, put these lil equals in check when they get outta line yell™
 5 years ago '11        #96
box5 
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 Decan45 said:
This stereotype is dumb as fu*k. A lot of white people spank their kids... A LOT. It's always this same tired a.ss story people repeat like they were at the grocery store and saw some white kid cussing out their parents. Get the fu*k outta here with that made up bullsh*t. You never saw that. I never saw that. That sh*t is fairy tales. Quit trying to make it sound like white kids are a bunch of wild, crazy, feral kids running around like animals, while black kids be in the grocery store standing at attention and sh*t... Please...

Honestly, I never see white kids OR black kids acting crazy in public.
I've seen then lil peckerwoods act out on a couple occasions as well as black kids lately. The reason people go hard at whitey is because they make the laws and rules. So they a.ss got to deal with the blame yell™
 5 years ago '11        #97
Backflipz 84 heat pts84
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 Decan45 said:
This stereotype is dumb as fu*k. A lot of white people spank their kids... A LOT. It's always this same tired a.ss story people repeat like they were at the grocery store and saw some white kid cussing out their parents. Get the fu*k outta here with that made up bullsh*t. You never saw that. I never saw that. That sh*t is fairy tales. Quit trying to make it sound like white kids are a bunch of wild, crazy, feral kids running around like animals, while black kids be in the grocery store standing at attention and sh*t... Please...

Honestly, I never see white kids OR black kids acting crazy in public.
I'm speaking from personal experience homie not a stereotype but you can keep talking out the a.ss.

You are a dumb motherfu*ker if you think anything is absolute rule. Obviously not ALL (not even most) white kids are crazy disrespectful fu*ks, but MOST (not all) of the ones I'VE SEEN were white.
 5 years ago '08        #98
GoldBluded 537 heat pts537
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Yall know i had to post this

[video - click to view]

 5 years ago '04        #99
Decan45 2 heat pts
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 Frank Hampton said:
I'm speaking from personal experience homie not a stereotype but you can keep talking out the a.ss.

You are a dumb motherfu*ker if you think anything is absolute rule. Obviously not ALL (not even most) white kids are crazy disrespectful fu*ks, but MOST (not all) of the ones I'VE SEEN were white.
Not buying it. Despite how many little heathens I've seen running around acting crazy in public, I've never even seen a kid cuss his parents in public period, regardless of race... But you've conveniently seen multiple white kids do this? Fairy tales...
 05-05-2013, 06:40 AM         #100
ManWithoutFear! 
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My father was always too tired to whoop my a.ss lol

My mother on the other hand?!

Sheeeeeeit. There was a time when my fam, my mother's sister & her kids, & my father's sister & her kid all stayed in the same apartment. a.ss whoopin's comin' from all angles!

I got my a.ss beat with a phone book! Ever get beaten with Bronx-Manhattan phone book?! Lol
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