May 3 - No Spank You: The Harmful Impact of Physically Disciplining Your Kids

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 5 years ago '04        #21
ItAlY2BkLyN 239 heat pts239
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Nobody is saying beat your kids. And nobody is saying take a belt to your kids a.ss if he spills some milk. But the punishment must fit the crime.

I got spanked when I fu*ked up. Honestly, I should have got spanked a lot more than I did. When you try time out, when you try grounding them, and nothing else works, spanking is a good way to get your point across in my opinion.


Last edited by ItAlY2BkLyN; 05-03-2013 at 03:27 PM..
 5 years ago '07        #22
joshdogg26 194 heat pts194
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parents these days just want to be their kids' best friend and don't have the heart to discipline them. kids need to respect the parent's authority and know there are consequences for misbehavior. if you don't believe in spanking or whatever, at least have strict punishments.
 5 years ago '04        #23
ItAlY2BkLyN 239 heat pts239
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 aclockworkred71 said:
You have a limited mind, two options and then hit them, the op clearly states reinforcements.


Positive reinforcement strengthens a behavior by providing a consequence an individual finds rewarding. For example, if your teacher gives you £5 each time you complete your homework (i.e. a reward) you are more likely to repeat this behavior in the future, thus strengthening the behavior of completing your homework.

The removal of an unpleasant reinforcer can also strengthen behavior. This is known as negative reinforcement because it is the removal of an adverse stimulus which is ‘rewarding’ to the animal. Negative reinforcement strengthens behavior because it stops or removes an unpleasant experience.

[pic - click to view]




Source: BF Skinner you fu*k.
Yea and that's why we have a world full of kids with entitlement issues! Paying for homework?!?!! Are you serious!?!? Fu*k that! Why should you get paid to do what you're SUPPOSED to do? That's why I never agreed with paying kids for good grades. You're setting them up for a life of failure in the real world.

You don't get a pat on the back for going above and beyond in the real world, much less for doing something you're supposed to do.

And you wonder why we have a world full of manipulative, over privileged, punk a.ss kids with entitlement issues.

Spanking is an adverse stimulus too. Do what you're supposed to, and that adverse stimulus will be removed. Simple as that.

Oh and btw: I just gave two examples. I never said only give you kids 2 options and then hit them.


Last edited by ItAlY2BkLyN; 05-03-2013 at 04:15 PM..
 05-03-2013, 03:55 PM         #24
Throbbin' Thicke 
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Aside from the fact that the first two paragraphs read like a pedophile fantasy. Its ridiculous to think that your way of parenting is superior to another. If I want to spank my kids and they grow up to be good upstanding citizens then I was a good father.

My mom whooped that a.ss as a kid and I grew up a fine, responsible, adult. Someone else may have not been spanked and grew up fine as well. There are other factors to being a good parenting aside from the way you choose to discipline. It's your choice, you choose and make the best of the situation
 05-03-2013, 04:37 PM         #25
Dos-effect 
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 aclockworkred71 said:
You have a limited mind, two options and then hit them, the op clearly states reinforcements.


Positive reinforcement strengthens a behavior by providing a consequence an individual finds rewarding. For example, if your teacher gives you £5 each time you complete your homework (i.e. a reward) you are more likely to repeat this behavior in the future, thus strengthening the behavior of completing your homework.

The removal of an unpleasant reinforcer can also strengthen behavior. This is known as negative reinforcement because it is the removal of an adverse stimulus which is ‘rewarding’ to the animal. Negative reinforcement strengthens behavior because it stops or removes an unpleasant experience.

[pic - click to view]




Source: BF Skinner you fu*k.

Dude life is painful , and sometimes in life we have painful consequences, kids have to understand this......or else they become sheltered and when adults who have been sheltered their whole lives finally have to face adversity, they go ape sh*t because they dont know how to handle it..........
 5 years ago '11        #26
Suppafresh 26 heat pts26
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sh*t the. Beat downs got me right.
 5 years ago '07        #27
FeedTheBeast 23 heat pts23
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 matelyan said:
Someone who wants to see their children grow up to be respectable and valued members of their community, regardless of their disciplinary methods, can never be considered a sh*tty parent. Just because your parents didn't have to hit you, doesn't negate the validity or value of our upbringings and the ways our parents disciplined us.

You're making way too many a.ssumptions and using your own personal experience as the only source of back-up for your claims on what defines a good parent.

You're not special. You just weren't hit as a child. So you can return to earth and step down from your high horse now.


Someone with wisdom is a rarity around here......props to you sir.

 ItAlY2BkLyN said:
Yea and that's why we have a world full of kids with entitlement issues! Paying for homework?!?!! Are you serious!?!? Fu*k that! Why should you get paid to do what you're SUPPOSED to do? That's why I never agreed with paying kids for good grades. You're setting them up for a life of failure in the real world.

You don't get a pat on the back for going above and beyond in the real world, much less for doing something you're supposed to do.

And you wonder why we have a world full of manipulative, over privileged, punk a.ss kids with entitlement issues.

Spanking is an adverse stimulus too. Do what you're supposed to, and that adverse stimulus will be removed. Simple as that.

Oh and btw: I just gave two examples. I never said only give you kids 2 options and then hit them.

I agree with the premise of your post but not totally if that makes any sense. I punish AND reward my kids. Good grades and behavior and I give him a little sumthin or I do sumthin for him. Nothing too outlandish. For instance if he asks to go see a movie I tell him I wanna see his report card first. If its good then we go that weekend. If not......no movies AND punishment. I never had to whoop my son for his grades becuz he makes A-B honor roll consistently had a few C's which I don't accept in my house. But when he fu*ks up in other areas...that belt will start swinging with bad intentions. He decided earlier this year that him and his buddies were gonna be class clowns and disrespect the teacher. Needless to say I put fire on dat a.ss......no mo problems with that.

But he has chores and responsibilities that I refuse to give him a dime for. Homework?? Taking out the trash?? Cleaning your room?? That's what you are supposed to do.

But you do get rewarded in life for achievements. At least in a perfect world you should so I try to instill in him that if you work hard and handle business then you get what you want. It's called fruits of labor. And if you slack and don't you don't get sh*t but pain and stress.

So I have a 3 pronged approach.

Responsibilities= do it or suffer the consequences no rewards
Overachieving= rewards and privileges
Underachieving/bad behavior=punishment and/or a.ss whooping

I also have a 3 year old daughter........she gets a little pop too when she acts out. But at that age you have to communicate and be a teacher all day non stop. So I have more patience and tolerance with her becuz she is just a baby and im trying to teach her. But once she gets older??? I hope I don't have to put these hands on her but I will no hesitation.
 5 years ago '11        #28
XxHeAtMaKeRxX 30 heat pts30
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If you choose not to spank your kids, more than likely theyll end up spanking you one day
 5 years ago '08        #29
GrownmanJ 21 heat pts21
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He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes
 5 years ago '10        #30
Trilluminati GA 433 heat pts433
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Sad thing is you have parents that dont discipline their child and the child gets his a.ss beat or worse in the streets. And then you have insane parents that beat their child like grown ups for damn near everything, then that child beats other ppls a.ss in the street. Like a poster before me said the punishment must fit the action. And whoopings are NOT to be done when in anger or out of anger.

 TB said:
says who? some of the most fu*ked up people i know grew up in dual parent households, and some of the most successful grew up in single parent homes (most with mom only), stop it


just like it takes 2 to make a child, it takes 2 to raise on. that the bs society makes cool what you're talking about. A child's father and mother doesn't guarantee they will turn out good all the time but single parent homes are nothing to boast of. Esp those with just the mother and esp in the black community. Nothing but a retarded cycle that keeps repeating itself hence the reason why my ppl are where we are at now.

 GrownmanJ said:
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes
 5 years ago '05        #31
THaXcEpTiOnAL1 7 heat pts
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my parents used to beat me. this is way too common and a good form of discipline. as long as ur not using excessive force.
 5 years ago '10        #32
purpleaxxe 114 heat pts114
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As my grandmother who reared me would say, "This a.ss whooping is gonna keep you out of the penitentiary or an early grave." Thank God for her, for I would not be the person I am today.
 05-03-2013, 11:01 PM         #33
2D.... 
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 thugged said:
I got my a.ss whooped as a kid and I can easily say I'm better off than the kids whose parents let them roam around and do whatever they wanted
 5 years ago '10        #34
LORD PLISSKEN 15 heat pts15
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Wish this article was out 15 years ago
 5 years ago '04        #35
getyagameup 24 heat pts24 OP
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 Tony Franks said:
Y'all just had sh*tty parents. I never got a whoopin ever, but I stayed on punishment for sh*t tho. If u have to physically harm your child just to get them to listen, u are not a good parent. U probably need counseling.

I could see if parents weren't whooping their kids out of pure anger and rage, but that's usually the case. If the parent waited a day to cool down, then called their kid in and calmly explained to them why they had to be punished sh*t would be cool, but its usually some parent that flipped his/her lid and doesn't have the IQ or patience to teach their child right from wrong without abusing them.
i think ur white....either way, great post. this is one of my points.

 rikedizzle said:
People just use hitting their kids as a cop out to their lazy parenting in most cases
B A S I C A L L Y

 aclockworkred71 said:
You have a limited mind, two options and then hit them, the op clearly states reinforcements.


Positive reinforcement strengthens a behavior by providing a consequence an individual finds rewarding. For example, if your teacher gives you £5 each time you complete your homework (i.e. a reward) you are more likely to repeat this behavior in the future, thus strengthening the behavior of completing your homework.

The removal of an unpleasant reinforcer can also strengthen behavior. This is known as negative reinforcement because it is the removal of an adverse stimulus which is ‘rewarding’ to the animal. Negative reinforcement strengthens behavior because it stops or removes an unpleasant experience.

[pic - click to view]




Source: BF Skinner you fu*k.
he's a psych dude right? violence only begets more violence. i don't care what all these cats say.

 S W A N said:
I got my a.ss handed to me on a plate as a kid but I refuse to whip my children. Im not saying I got abused but being hit with switches brooms cables or the closest thing that my mom could find was overkill. And yes, Im black. Its almost a family tradition of borderline abuse when dishing out punishment. Now I will say that all the beatings I recieved were deserved. I hardly got spanked for nothing. But the beatings themself were on the abusive side. I want to break that cycle. There are many ways of discipline that dont involve beatings. Especially in todays society where kids hardly go outside and rely on all this technology we have now. I wont go over all the ways that a child can be disciplined. Most here wouldnt read it anyway. I personally just feel that there is another way. And I have friends that were never spanked that turned out fine and vice versa. I was in the hood til I was 15 and I can tell you that a good % of the guys I grew up with got their a.ss handed to them also but it made no difference. Your enviroment plays apart in how you turn out just as much as spankings do.

And lets stop taking that bible verse out of context. Spare the rod=no discipline. Doesnt mean spankings. I swear for a site where 90% of the members dont believe in god, they try to use a bible verse for the sake of argument.
me too my dude. i just can't do it to my kids. even my youngest who spazzes out often. the others, well, i've been told that for their age they were the quietest kids for their ages....they might have been like 10 and 7 at the time. took my son to a yoga class where he sat still for the first 1 hr n 15 min, with the teacher's permission, playin his ds and then joined the class. both of them have done advanced yoga classes. i think i've smacked my daughter on the leg once in her life, beat my son once and put him to sleep once (rear nekkid of sorts). as my daughter gets older wouldn't even begin to consider touching her. she's a beautiful young lady. can't do what was done to me.....no real need to anyway.

 purpleaxxe said:
As my grandmother who reared me would say, "This a.ss whooping is gonna keep you out of the penitentiary or an early grave." Thank God for her, for I would not be the person I am today.
i know plenty of cats who got they a.ss whooped as a kid and have done or are doing time. try again.
 5 years ago '11        #36
bobby doobie 1 heat pts
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I got my a.ss kicked and turned out fine, my lil sister whos 15 years younger spoiled as fu*k never been disciplined
 5 years ago '07        #37
Grave 3 heat pts
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My dude, stop being a bi*ch. Everybody needs an a.ss whoopin every now and then
 5 years ago '04        #38
Rashad69 11 heat pts11
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beat your kids so they don't rob me in 10 years, thx
 5 years ago '11        #39
RileyEsco 5 heat pts
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 Tony Franks said:
Y'all just had sh*tty parents. I never got a whoopin ever, but I stayed on punishment for sh*t tho. If u have to physically harm your child just to get them to listen, u are not a good parent. U probably need counseling.

I could see if parents weren't whooping their kids out of pure anger and rage, but that's usually the case. If the parent waited a day to cool down, then called their kid in and calmly explained to them why they had to be punished sh*t would be cool, but its usually some parent that flipped his/her lid and doesn't have the IQ or patience to teach their child right from wrong without abusing them.



See, you're getting beatings confused with spankings. My mother use to tear me and my sister's a.ss up when she had to (rarely) but she made sure we always knew it was out of love. She never went into a blind rage and it was never over something petty. I'd have to do something pretty damn drastic to even get one but she would sit me down afterwards and explain to me why she did it. I'm grateful that she did though... cause I just look at how some of my cousins/nieces/nephews turned out and can't do anything but shake my head.
 05-04-2013, 12:02 AM         #40
donmeca2020 
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To all the people claiming its bad, do not lie and tell anyone on here you never been to a restaurant or store and see a kid acting fu*king ridiculous and the parents don't do anything. a good beat down on the little bastards will stop these horrific actions instantly.

my old man used to beat my a.ss when i was a kid. i turned out normal, have a career, my own house, 3 cars etc..... i see people who havent disciplined their kids, they look at them and are thinking this kid is going to be in jail or prison or dead with in the next couple of years..;.
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