May 3 - No Spank You: The Harmful Impact of Physically Disciplining Your Kids

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 5 years ago '04        #1
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getyagameup 24 heat pts24
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May 3 - No Spank You: The Harmful Impact of Physically Disciplining Your Kids
 

 
Last night I was tickling my baby boy. He was in his pajamas, freshly bathed and ready for bed. We were starting to read his bedtime books when he leaned over the rocking chair and started giggling as I tickled him and kissed his back and just relished in his yumminess - all two years of it. It was at that moment that I thought about National Spank Out Day.

As I sat there kissing my innocent two year old - a being whose world centers on his own family - I tried to imagine other kids his age - being spanked; fearing that their own parents who would physically hurt them and punish them with pain.

Related: 7 things you should NEVER say to your child

As parents, it is our job to teach and lead the way. Why then, would violence be part of that leadership? The statistics are startling. Even though it is proven to be damaging, spanking is still the leading form of discipline in America. How can this be?

Most parents repeat history. They were spanked so they spank their own children. So how do we break the cycle? By educating the spankers about the impact of their discipline technique and getting the non-spankers to speak up.

If the thought of a child's precious body alone doesn't stop you, take a look at the facts; study after study shows that spanking leads to increased aggression in children (the people they respect most are inflicting physical aggression upon them) and anti-social behavior (trust is being destroyed).

There are absolutely no positive effects of spanking.

What can you do?

1. If you have ever spanked your child, commit to not doing it again. Get your spouse and family on the same page. To arm yourself with the reasons not to spank your child, read Dr. Michele Borba's comprehensive list. Shift to positive reinforcement methods to replace fear based ones.

2. When you are around people that casually mention that a kid acting out "needs a good spanking," challenge them. Tell them what you know about the dangers of spanking.

3. If you see a parent being physically rough with a child, speak out; the child is helpless and you are not.

To prevent a "parental meltdown" that leads to spanking, social psychologist Susan Newman recommends taking these steps:

1. Take a few deep breaths, step back, and count to 10. Use the time to consider if it's actually the child you are angry with and not someone else, perhaps even yourself.

2. Take short breaks from care giving responsibilities whenever possible. Grab some downtime of your own during children's naps or independent play. If you can safely do so, step away from the children to chill out. Brief respites act as safety valves and restore energy so you are less likely to lash out physically if things go wrong.

3. Set up "on-call" support for times you're reaching your breaking point. When you feel your blood pressure rising there's still time to avert a crisis. Talking to a friend or family member who understands your children lets off steam and gives you a different perspective and the chance to gather your wits. This can be especially important if your child is particularly difficult.

4. Call up your sense of humor. Think ahead a number of years when you might recall and talk about what your child just did…from it distance it may seem quite amusing.

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for all those with kids that think that corporal punishment is ok. as a kid who got the tar beat outta him as a kid, i didn't like it. and it doesn't help with sh-t. creates fear and conditions one to being abused. just saying......

144 comments for "May 3 - No Spank You: The Harmful Impact of Physically Disciplining Your Kids"

 5 years ago '05        #2
Based_One 87 heat pts87
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My mom used to whoop my a.ss with my kid i don't do the belt thing just pop em on in the hand if he acting up. I don't have a problem with spankings, whoopings whatever you wanna call em as for me I knew why i was getting one and it wasn't just for random reasons.
 5 years ago '06        #3
KFrizzle 296 heat pts296
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We need physical discipline....
I'd be fine wit teacher (lighting) hitting kids w/ rulers again, but that would be asking for a law suit in today's political correctness BS...
 5 years ago '06        #4
thugged 55 heat pts55
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I got my a.ss whooped as a kid and I can easily say I'm better off than the kids whose parents let them roam around and do whatever they wanted
 05-03-2013, 11:45 AM         #5
diggie 
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Yeah do not agree with the post. I was spanked as a child and I needed it. I mean there is a line of course but a spanking for me was not bad. Like ol'boy said I knew what I did was wrong. there has to be punishments. Some kids only need a good talking too some need more. I needed more and Im not dead or in jail for it.
 05-03-2013, 11:50 AM         #6
Silver N Black 
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Lots of these parents don't discipline their kids they just take they anger out on them, easier to hit a child who won't hit back than to hit an adult who will choke the living sh*t out of them.
 5 years ago '04        #7
matelyan 21 heat pts21
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 thugged said:
I got my a.ss whooped as a kid and I can easily say I'm better off than the kids whose parents let them roam around and do whatever they wanted


Same here. My mom laid down the strictest punishments when I was growing up, including a good whooping every now and then. And I still thank her to this day. Especially when I see some of the knuckleheads whose parents allowed them to fu*k off and get away with anything they felt like.
 5 years ago '12        #8
KORNZ516 20 heat pts20
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I got my a.ss handed to me for good reason and I'm alright, as long as it ain't whooping for no reason or parents don't go overboard wit it when there is a reason I'm cool wit it



But I'm seein these younger kids that are just get the slap o the wrist sh*t left and right, and they're turning out worse than or generations of gettin beat


 S.TEX said:
Lots of these parents don't discipline their kids they just take they anger out on them, easier to hit a child who won't hit back than to hit an adult who will choke the living sh*t out of them.
I can see that point to but that to me is just straight abuse, I got the beatings and the talks, u can just whoop the kid, u gotta let them know why wat they did was bad, and why they are gettin beat for it, and the beating will help teach the reasoning of the talk of why not to do it again

All these butthurt people saying no spanking gotta have no children themselves or were raised very privileged doin wat they want

All they doin is helping raise a generation of pussies that run around thinkin they can get away wit watever they want


Last edited by KORNZ516; 05-03-2013 at 12:24 PM..
 5 years ago '05        #9
Nyse03 15 heat pts15
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Got my a.ss bussed and I respect my mom for doing it. I didn't like it at the time but I deserved it.
 5 years ago '07        #10
Damagegadget 493 heat pts493
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yea oddly enuff most the kids who didnt get they a55 whooped amongst people I know are the ones in jail..me ..never seen one from behind bars
 05-03-2013, 12:52 PM         #11
Silver N Black 
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 TB said:
bullsh*t, kids need a.ss whoopings, if these kids today got them they'd be better than the fu*k ups they are and wouldn't be doing the dumb sh*t we see on the news on a regular
kids need they dads in their lives not beatings.
 05-03-2013, 12:58 PM         #12
Silver N Black 
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 TB said:
says who? some of the most fu*ked up people i know grew up in dual parent households, and some of the most successful grew up in single parent homes (most with mom only), stop it
oh okay.
 5 years ago '07        #13
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 getyagameup said:
Last night I was tickling my baby boy. He was in his pajamas, freshly bathed and ready for bed. We were starting to read his bedtime books when he leaned over the rocking chair and started giggling as I tickled him and kissed his back and just relished in his yumminess - all two years of it. It was at that moment that I thought about National Spank Out Day.

As I sat there kissing my innocent two year old - a being whose world centers on his own family - I tried to imagine other kids his age - being spanked; fearing that their own parents who would physically hurt them and punish them with pain.

Related: 7 things you should NEVER say to your child

As parents, it is our job to teach and lead the way. Why then, would violence be part of that leadership? The statistics are startling. Even though it is proven to be damaging, spanking is still the leading form of discipline in America. How can this be?

Most parents repeat history. They were spanked so they spank their own children. So how do we break the cycle? By educating the spankers about the impact of their discipline technique and getting the non-spankers to speak up.

If the thought of a child's precious body alone doesn't stop you, take a look at the facts; study after study shows that spanking leads to increased aggression in children (the people they respect most are inflicting physical aggression upon them) and anti-social behavior (trust is being destroyed).

There are absolutely no positive effects of spanking.

What can you do?

1. If you have ever spanked your child, commit to not doing it again. Get your spouse and family on the same page. To arm yourself with the reasons not to spank your child, read Dr. Michele Borba's comprehensive list. Shift to positive reinforcement methods to replace fear based ones.

2. When you are around people that casually mention that a kid acting out "needs a good spanking," challenge them. Tell them what you know about the dangers of spanking.

3. If you see a parent being physically rough with a child, speak out; the child is helpless and you are not.

To prevent a "parental meltdown" that leads to spanking, social psychologist Susan Newman recommends taking these steps:

1. Take a few deep breaths, step back, and count to 10. Use the time to consider if it's actually the child you are angry with and not someone else, perhaps even yourself.

2. Take short breaks from care giving responsibilities whenever possible. Grab some downtime of your own during children's naps or independent play. If you can safely do so, step away from the children to chill out. Brief respites act as safety valves and restore energy so you are less likely to lash out physically if things go wrong.

3. Set up "on-call" support for times you're reaching your breaking point. When you feel your blood pressure rising there's still time to avert a crisis. Talking to a friend or family member who understands your children lets off steam and gives you a different perspective and the chance to gather your wits. This can be especially important if your child is particularly difficult.

4. Call up your sense of humor. Think ahead a number of years when you might recall and talk about what your child just did…from it distance it may seem quite amusing.



for all those with kids that think that corporal punishment is ok. as a kid who got the tar beat outta him as a kid, i didn't like it. and it doesn't help with sh-t. creates fear and conditions one to being abused. just saying......
white woman
as a kid who got my a.ss whooped growin up,its tha reason why i still show adults proper respect to this day,and i think about tha consequences of everything i do
 5 years ago '11        #14
Tony Franks 6 heat pts
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Y'all just had sh*tty parents. I never got a whoopin ever, but I stayed on punishment for sh*t tho. If u have to physically harm your child just to get them to listen, u are not a good parent. U probably need counseling.

I could see if parents weren't whooping their kids out of pure anger and rage, but that's usually the case. If the parent waited a day to cool down, then called their kid in and calmly explained to them why they had to be punished sh*t would be cool, but its usually some parent that flipped his/her lid and doesn't have the IQ or patience to teach their child right from wrong without abusing them.
 05-03-2013, 02:21 PM         #15
Dos-effect 
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The first paragraph was hard to get through......parents who don't teach kids consequences usually raise whiney, spoiled know it all brats......save us all the headache and just beat they a.ss. An a.sswhooping goes a long way if done properly.........the woman is confusing spaking with child abuse, they are not the same thing.
 5 years ago '07        #16
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 Tony Franks said:
Y'all just had sh*tty parents. I never got a whoopin ever, but I stayed on punishment for sh*t tho. If u have to physically harm your child just to get them to listen, u are not a good parent. U probably need counseling.

I could see if parents weren't whooping their kids out of pure anger and rage, but that's usually the case. If the parent waited a day to cool down, then called their kid in and calmly explained to them why they had to be punished sh*t would be cool, but its usually some parent that flipped his/her lid and doesn't have the IQ or patience to teach their child right from wrong without abusing them.
a whoopin doesnt mean abuse my man
 5 years ago '04        #17
matelyan 21 heat pts21
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 Tony Franks said:
Y'all just had sh*tty parents. I never got a whoopin ever, but I stayed on punishment for sh*t tho. If u have to physically harm your child just to get them to listen, u are not a good parent. U probably need counseling.

I could see if parents weren't whooping their kids out of pure anger and rage, but that's usually the case. If the parent waited a day to cool down, then called their kid in and calmly explained to them why they had to be punished sh*t would be cool, but its usually some parent that flipped his/her lid and doesn't have the IQ or patience to teach their child right from wrong without abusing them.
Someone who wants to see their children grow up to be respectable and valued members of their community, regardless of their disciplinary methods, can never be considered a sh*tty parent. Just because your parents didn't have to hit you, doesn't negate the validity or value of our upbringings and the ways our parents disciplined us.

You're making way too many a.ssumptions and using your own personal experience as the only source of back-up for your claims on what defines a good parent.

You're not special. You just weren't hit as a child. So you can return to earth and step down from your high horse now.
 5 years ago '07        #18
r.burgundy 16 heat pts16
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 matelyan said:
Someone who wants to see their children grow up to be respectable and valued members of their community, regardless of their disciplinary methods, can never be considered a sh*tty parent. Just because your parents didn't have to hit you, doesn't negate the validity or value of our upbringings and the ways our parents disciplined us.

You're making way too many a.ssumptions and using your own personal experience as the only source of back-up for your claims on what defines a good parent.

You're not special. You just weren't hit as a child. So you can return to earth and step down from your high horse now.
 5 years ago '04        #19
rikedizzle 
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People just use hitting their kids as a cop out to their lazy parenting in most cases
 5 years ago '11        #20
Tony Franks 6 heat pts
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 matelyan said:
Someone who wants to see their children grow up to be respectable and valued members of their community, regardless of their disciplinary methods, can never be considered a sh*tty parent. Just because your parents didn't have to hit you, doesn't negate the validity or value of our upbringings and the ways our parents disciplined us.

You're making way too many a.ssumptions and using your own personal experience as the only source of back-up for your claims on what defines a good parent.

You're not special. You just weren't hit as a child. So you can return to earth and step down from your high horse now.
Lol ur absolutely right. I just said my peace in the same manner that all the abuse advocates in here did just cuz its more fun that way.
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