40 Rap Lyrics That Make No Sense

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 5 years ago '09        #1
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40 Rap Lyrics That Make No Sense
 

 

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"Rock star, flier than an ostrich." - Juelz Santana
Song: "Black Republicans" (2007)
Album: Da Drought 3

Um, ostriches can't fly.
"We from two different cities, Minnesota and Philly." - Freeway
Song: "Best @ It" (2009)
Album: Us

Dude, Minnesota is not a city. It's a state.
"Weezy F. Baby and the 'F' is for phenomenal." - Lil Wayne
Song: "Yes" (2009)
Album: N/A

It's PHenomenal, not fenomenal, Weezy.
"I say what's next, what's next, what's N-X-E-T." - Warren G
Song: "What's Next" (1994)
Album: Regulate...G Funk Era

SMDH. We gotta do better.
"First family will gradually lift that a** up like gravity." - Lil Fame
Song: "1/2 & 1/2" (1998)
Album: Blade (Soundtrack)

Gravity doesn't lift people up. It does the exact opposite.
".38 revolve like the sun round the Earth." - Jay-Z
Song: "It's Hot" (1999)
Album: Vol. 3... Life and Times of S. Carter

If you're one of the 33% of Americans who believe that the Earth does not revolve around the sun, then you probably love this line.
"Moving in a grand prix, same color as thunder." - OJ da Juiceman
Song: "I'm Getting Money" (2009)
Album: The Otha Side of the Trap

We're sure what OJ da Juiceman meant to say was that it was the same color as lighting, since thunder is in fact a sound caused by lighting.
"When I was a geisha, he was a samurai/Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai." - Nicki Minaj
Song: "Your Love" (2010)
Album: Pink Friday

That “somehow” may be Nicki herself admitting the line doesn’t make any sense. Considering both geishas and samurais are Japanese it would be pretty strange for him to be speaking Thai, and for her to understand it. Somehow I think Nicki got stuck rhyming “samurai”, could only think of “Thai” and figured, “It doesn’t make sense but screw it. It’s not like some blogger’s going to devote an entire post to how lazy this rhyme is."
"Let the suicide doors up." - Kanye West
Song: "Mercy" (2012)
Album: Cruel Summer

This is a what a suicide door looks like. Notice which direction they go?
"Always been about them horizontal lines through them 'S's/That's a dollar sign." - Chamillionaire
Song: "Still Tippin (Original Version)" (2004)
Album: The Day After Hell Broke Loose

Actually Chamillionaire, that wouldn't look anything like $. It would look like this, S. Clearly, you didn't learn the difference between horizontal and vertical at the Pokemon Training Academy.
"If you don't bring back my motherf**kin money or my motherf**kin dope, you can forget about Christmas ni**a, cause you ain't gon even see New Years." - Master P
Song: "Do You Know" (1998)
Album: There's One In Every Family

Can someone please buy Master P a golden calendar so he see that Christmas comes before New Years?
"I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian/Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian." - Chingy
Song: "Balla Baby" (2004)
Album: Powerballin

Because Japanese and Chinese people totally aren't Asian or anything.
"I drink Hennessy straight, with tomato juice." - N.O.R.E.
Song: "Banned From TV" (1998)
Album: N.O.R.E

If you're mixing alcohol and juice, you're not drinking it straight

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"I woke up out that coma 2001, bout the same time Dre dropped 2001." - The Game
Song: "Dreams" (2005)
Album: The Documentary

Either that was a two-year coma, the bullets really messed up his sense of time, or Game’s using “bout” in the loosest sense possible, because Dre’s 2001 came out in 1999.
"I scored 1.1 on my SATs, but I still push a whip with a right and left AC." - Redman
Song: "Blackout" (1999)
Album: Blackout!

Okay, first of all, you couldn't possibly score a 1.1 on your SATs no matter how smoked out your brain was. Mainly because the SATs aren't scored that way. Second, having a whip with a right and left AC isn't exactly an accomplishment. And finally, since when do they sell cars with an AC only on one side anyway?
"Don't get drowned in one of the Mediterraneans ni**a." - Raekwon
Song: "Pushing Keys" (2011)
Album: None (Promo)

You know how hardcore Raekwon is? He’s so hardcore he’ll dump your body in a sea that doesn’t even exist. That other, entirely new Mediterranean sea that doesn't exist anywhere on the map.
"Put a number on your helmet like it's Notre Dame." - Rick Ross
Song: "High Definition" (2012)
Album: Rich Forever

Sorry, bro. The four leaf clover isn't a part of the number system.
"Black on black Bentley, call it Phantom of the Opera." - Young Jeezy
Song: "Top Back" Remix (2006)
Album: N/A

Nah, we'd prefer to call it an all black Bentley. Especially because, you know, Rolls Royce makes the Phantom and it's an entirely different car.
"America's pie, put my hand in the pot." - Tyga
Song: "Careless World" (2012)
Album: Careless World: Rise of the Last King

Who bakes pies in a pot?
"200 carats, now that's a f**king charm/That's a lucky charm/And I don't mean Corn Flakes." - Young Jeezy
Song: "I Do This sh-t" (2007)
Album: Def Jam: Icon (Soundtrack)

Hold on, let's double check this. Nope, absolutely no one thought you might have been talking about Corn Flakes. It was pretty clear the entire time that you were referring to Lucky Charms, but thanks for the completely unnecessary and ironically confusing clarification.
"I was In Too Deep like Mekhi Phife." - Kanye West
Song: "I Don't Like" Remix (2012)
Album: Cruel Summer

The only part we can't figure out is who was more pissed when they heard this line, Mekhi Phife (who wasn't in In Too Deep but was in other classic hip-hop films like 8 Mile and Paid In Full) or Omar Epps who was actually did star in In Too Deep.

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"Paparazzi ain't a problem, we just hide on the beach." - Asher Roth
Song: "Boyfriend (Remix)" (2012)
Album: N/A

This is the worst piece of advice we ever heard. Hide from the paparazzi on the beach? The paparazzi practically live on the beach, it's a wide open space with beautiful scenery that's usually open to the public. Haven't you seen the thousands of gossip rags that feature celebs at the beach on their cover?
"Just think if I ain't empty the clip, and he k!lled me/Would I still be living?" - Young Buck
Song: "Bang Bang" (2004)
Album: Straight Outta Cashville

“Just think, if my name wasn’t Young Buck/Would my name be Young Buck?” “Just think, if I was missing my legs/Would that mean that I had no legs?” “Just think, when I go outside/Does that mean that I’m not inside?” Our brains hurt from trying to figure out how Buck thinks or doesn’t think.
"There's no need to lie folk/Why you sleeping with ya eyes closed?" - Timbaland
Song: "Get On the Bus" (1998)
Album: Why Do Fools Fall in Love (Soundtrack)

Um….is there another way we're supposed to be sleeping?
"My paragraph alone is worth five mics/A twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics." - Redman
Song: "5 Boroughs" (1999)
Album: The Corruptor (Soundtrack)

For that line alone Redman deserves to fail elementry math 32 times.
"I got a little boy to look after/And if I died then my child would be a bastard." - Scarface
Song: "Mind Playing Tricks On Me" (1991)
Album: We Can't Be Stopped

Face's mind must have really been playing tricks on him because a bastard is defined as "one born to a woman and a man who are not legally married" and not a kid whose father just died. If Scarface were to die along with his baby's mother, then his son would be an orphan.
"I'm Rondo with the bongos." - Pusha T
Song: "Open Your Eyes" (2011)
Album: Fear of God

Yes, you’re right Pusha, “Rondo” does rhyme with “bongo”. Unfortunately, unless in addition to being an elite NBA point guard Rajon Rondo is also a renowned percussionist, those two things are unrelated. See also: “I’m Jason Kidd with Mr. Pibb.” “I’m Derrick Rose with the garden hose.”
"I got more hoes than the Ozone." - Silkk The Shocker
Song: "My Car" (1996)
Album: The Shocker

You don't hear as much about it these days, but back in the '90s the Ozone layer basically came up in every debate about the environment. Of course, people were discussing holes in the Ozone layer, not hoes because it's a layer in Earth's atmosphere, not a fu-king corner pimp.

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"License plate say 'money makin' ni**a fa sho'." - Mannie Fresh
Song: "Big Ballin" (1998)
Album: How You Luv That Vol. 2

That’s way too many letters to fit on a license plate. Maybe he got the DMV to make him a “fo sho” license plate and then he glued a piece of cardboard onto his car before it that reads “money makin’ n*gga”. Alternate hypothesis: He’s driving in a car in Germany. They’ve got insanely long license plates over there.
"Round the same time Nas said 'I Can,' Bush was sending our fam to Iran." - Kanye West
Song: Mase's "Welcome Back (Remix)" (2004)
Album: N/A

No wonder Ahmadinejad was so pissed at the UN the other day. Apparently, we invaded Iran years ago.
"And I'll be damned if I co-sign a old snitch/That was gangbanging when Jaws was a goldfish." - Lloyd Banks
Song: "Ain't No Click" (2004)
Album: The Hunger For More

A goldfish is a goldfish and a shark is a shark. A goldfish cannot grow up and become a shark. Just like a turtle can't grow up and become a king cobra and Lloyd Banks can't grow up and become a relevant rapper again.
"I exchange V cards with the retards." - Mack Maine
Song: "Every Girl" (2009)
Album: We Are Young Money

What? Surely, this isn't legal.
"You done broke my heart into a million pieces/I should have seen it coming, wish I had telekinesis." - LMFAO
Song: "Love Lockdown" Remix (2008)
Album: None (Freestyle)

Picking on LMFAO for bad rhymes is like picking on a fat, asthmatic kid for being slow, but this song was being played on the radio 7,972 times a day at one point so we just have to single it out. While having telekinesis—the ability to move objects with your mind—would be cool, it definitely wouldn't help you see anything coming.
"I'm pissed again/Say his name wrong and get wrapped like a mummy/Like that man from Michelin." - Cam'ron
Song: "Motivation" (2011)
Album: Boss of All Bosses 3

Wait, Cam thinks the Michelin Man is a mummy? That’s secretly the funniest thing we’ve ever heard. We can only a.ssume he’s gone through his entire adult life believing the Michelin Man is a mummy. How many people has he mentioned this to in casual conversation? And no one’s bothered to correct him?
"I'm an animal/Half man, half mammal." - Jay-Z
Song: "Already Home" (2009)
Album: The Blueprint 3

First off, Jigga establishes that he is not a man but an animal. But then, he claims he is in fact, half of a man. And then he a.sserts that he's a half mammal which means he could be either a human being or a variety of animals that are categorized as mammals. What we're trying to say here is that we are confused.
"Dizzy Gillespie, he played a sax!" - Greg Nice
Song: Gang Starr's "DWYCK" (1994)
Album: Hard To Earn

Actually, Dizzy played the trumpet. You would think the guys who once made a song called "Jazz Thing"—where Guru narrated the history of jazz—would point that out to Greg Nice in the studio.
"I can double my density from 360 degrees to 720 instantly." - Canibus
Song: "Freestyle" (1998)
Album: The Mixtape, Vol. III

Clearly, Canibus has no idea what unit is used to measure density.

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"32 grams raw, chop it in half, get 16, double it times three/We got 48, which mean a whole lot of cream/Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight/We back to 16." - Foxy Brown
Song: "Affirmative Action" (1996)
Album: It Was Written
"Are you into astrology, cause um, I'm trying to make it to Uranus." - Kanye West
Song: "Gettin It In" (2004)
Album: Kiss Of death

We're afraid of telling Neil deGrasse Tyson this line because we're pretty sure he'll fall over, die, and immediately start rolling in his grave. May this be a warning to all your college freshman taking Astronomy 101 who'll be scratching your heads when it turns out a Gemini's love compatibility isn't on the midterm.

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"So cold I frostbite 'em/No Pig Latin but I hog-tied 'em." - 2 Chainz
Song: "Like Me" (2012)
Album: Based on a T.R.U. Story

Pig Latin? Like “Apray inelay atthay akemay onay uckingfay ensesay”? That kind of Pig Latin? A pig and a hog are related things…and…past that, we’ve got no clue what 2 Chainz was even attempting here. I guess they could be completely separate clauses, as in “I am unfamiliar with Pig Latin, also, should the chance arise, I would gladly tie up your girlfriend.”

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 40 Rap Lyrics That Make No Sense | Complex

89 comments for "40 Rap Lyrics That Make No Sense"

 5 years ago '11        #2
Norcal 78 heat pts78
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"And I'll be damned if I co-sign a old snitch/That was gangbanging when Jaws was a goldfish." - Lloyd Banks
Song: "Ain't No Click" (2004)
Album: The Hunger For More

A goldfish is a goldfish and a shark is a shark. A goldfish cannot grow up and become a shark. Just like a turtle can't grow up and become a king cobra and Lloyd Banks can't grow up and become a relevant rapper again.


 5 years ago '10        #3
keezy504 18 heat pts18
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And i got her n*gga grocery bag>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>This whole thread.
 5 years ago '10        #4
eightytyson06 39 heat pts39
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before reading list over/under Wayne has at least 15?
 5 years ago '10        #5
BBhiphop 523 heat pts523
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"Rock star, flier than an ostrich." - Juelz Santana
Song: "Black Republicans" (2007)
Album: Da Drought 3

Um, ostriches can't fly.

^he's right though
 09-27-2012, 03:54 PM         #6
Jack.Nappier 
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ima reserve comment until im done reading:

"First family will gradually lift that a** up like gravity." - Lil Fame
Song: "1/2 & 1/2" (1998)
Album: Blade (Soundtrack)

Gravity doesn't lift people up. It does the exact opposite.

"Always been about them horizontal lines through them 'S's/That's a dollar sign." - Chamillionaire
Song: "Still Tippin (Original Version)" (2004)
Album: The Day After Hell Broke Loose

Actually Chamillionaire, that wouldn't look anything like $. It would look like this, S. Clearly, you didn't learn the difference between horizontal and vertical at the Pokemon Training Academy.


Last edited by Jack.Nappier; 09-27-2012 at 04:02 PM..
 5 years ago '10        #7
BBhiphop 523 heat pts523
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"First family will gradually lift that a** up like gravity." - Lil Fame
Song: "1/2 & 1/2" (1998)
Album: Blade (Soundtrack)

Gravity doesn't lift people up. It does the exact opposite.

^ gravity can also lift things up...it just attracts to the greater mass, so if thats above, it will lift sh*t up
 5 years ago '10        #8
trill jackson 738 heat pts738
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theres three of us but we're not the beatles run dmc- there were 4 beatles
smokin blunts sippin on tanquery lady of rage said eisenhower was on the dime- nah that's fdr
 5 years ago '04        #10
kreuzberg61 20 heat pts20
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 BBhiphop said:
"Rock star, flier than an ostrich." - Juelz Santana
Song: "Black Republicans" (2007)
Album: Da Drought 3

Um, ostriches can't fly.

^he's right though
juelz got that ostrich swag
 5 years ago '10        #11
keezy504 18 heat pts18
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 jeehtoven said:

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: clap:
 5 years ago '10        #12
BBhiphop 523 heat pts523
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"I woke up out that coma 2001, bout the same time Dre dropped 2001." - The Game
Song: "Dreams" (2005)
Album: The Documentary

Either that was a two-year coma, the bullets really messed up his sense of time, or Game’s using “bout” in the loosest sense possible, because Dre’s 2001 came out in 1999.

this made me mad the first time i heard the song
 5 years ago '10        #13
kiddrocay 27 heat pts27
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@b every line but really jiga??

"I'm an animal/Half man, half mammal." - Jay-Z
Song: "Already Home" (2009)
Album: The Blueprint 3
 5 years ago '12        #14
Str8OuttaLoCash 
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= ghostface whole catalogue
/thread
 5 years ago '10        #15
trill jackson 738 heat pts738
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this is something a lot of rappers did but i'll just use banks as an example. what he say? i'll leave 12 shells in you like a carton of eggs?- the bullet enters the body, the shell hits the ground
 5 years ago '10        #16
cottonman5grand 7 heat pts
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How about a recent Wayne line off his Pop That verse--> "bi*ch, stop talking that sh*t and suck a n*gga d!ck for some Trukfit."".......Trukfit is an all mens clothing line.....
 09-27-2012, 04:40 PM         #17
TeddiGramz 
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 norcal925 said:
"And I'll be damned if I co-sign a old snitch/That was gangbanging when Jaws was a goldfish." - Lloyd Banks
Song: "Ain't No Click" (2004)
Album: The Hunger For More

A goldfish is a goldfish and a shark is a shark. A goldfish cannot grow up and become a shark. Just like a turtle can't grow up and become a king cobra and Lloyd Banks can't grow up and become a relevant rapper again.


I didn't even read that end part...
 5 years ago '07        #18
jack_napier 
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"I drink hennessey straight/ with tomato juice" I literally lol'd. props for this OP.
 5 years ago '07        #19
jack_napier 
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damn, a few of these got me dumbass weak
 5 years ago '07        #20
240ka 49 heat pts49
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Riff Raffs whol catalog should be in here
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