The 6 Creepiest Things Ever Slipped Into Children's Cartoons

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 5 years ago '09        #1
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The 6 Creepiest Things Ever Slipped Into Children's Cartoons
 

 
#6. Animaniacs - Fingering Prince
The whole secret to the success of a cartoon like Animaniacs is to appeal both to the kiddies who like animated slapstick, and to the college kids who like the quick inside jokes clearly intended to sail over the toddlers' heads. Then, sometimes, they'll throw in a reference to fingering a man's anus.

For example, we have the episode "Hercule Yakko"--an oblique reference to Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot that no child would get--where the Warner siblings act as detectives on board a cruise ship as they look for a stolen diamond. Right off the bat Yakko is making a Charlie Chan joke, a reference to a racist detective serial from the first half of the 20th century that we're guessing not even the college kids caught.
But then Yakko tells Dot to "dust for prints." She returns with pop musician and noted enemy of the Internet, Prince, who for some reason is hanging around on a children's cartoon luxury liner.

Yakko tells her, "No, finger prints." Dot and Prince share an awkward glance, before she says, "I don't think so" and tosses Prince through a port window, where he presumably drowns. That's right: The whole joke is she misheard the instructions as "finger Prince."

We believe this is the first time in the history of children's entertainment that they've broached the subject of a cartoon character going knuckle diving in a pop star's as-hole. If some other show blazed this trail first, be sure to let us know in the comments.

[video - click to view]



#5. Pokemon - Man b00bs

There are a few Pokemon episodes that haven't made it to American shores for various reasons, either because they're a little too seizure-inducing, a little too violent or just racist enough.

The show's kind of fu-ked up.
In Beauty and the Beach, Team Rocket enters a "Beach Beauty and Pokemon Costume Contest" as part of their ill-defined nefarious scheme to kidnap Ash's Pikachu so it can power a doomsday device. And because it makes more sense than anything else in the history of the show, this means the male character James has to throw on a pair of giant brea$ts for the swimsuit portion.

What kind of swimsuit competition allows two people who are clearly adults to compete against children is unfortunately never explained. Scenes from the uncut Japanese episode have found their way to YouTube but are unfortunately in Japanese with no subtitles.


[pic - click to view]




#4. Cow and Chicken - Carpet Munching

Cow and Chicken is a program best known for desperately trying to be Ren and Stimpy but succeeding mostly in being humorless and annoying. Proving that above all else it recognizes its audience, the show's episode "Buffalo Gals" aims straight for the kids' funny bones with jokes about terrifying lesbian bikers.

The episode opens with Cow and Chicken coming down for breakfast with their parents, who it is important to note are both human beings that evidently lost their arms in some kind of accident because they use their feet to do everything. Then a fierce female motorcycle gang called the Buffalo Gals suddenly bursts into the house, with no explanation as to why they selected this particular home or why they chose to invade it at 8 a.m.
Once inside, they promptly drop to their knees and begin to... chew furiously on the carpet.

If you're from a part of the world with different lesbian slang, or have just led a very sheltered life, the whole "carpet munching" thing is a reference to female oral s3x. Apparently the writers were also afraid that simply showing the action would be too subtle a joke, so first we get the main characters mistaking the bikers for men, calling one of them "sir," at which point they introduce themselves as "the Buffalo Gals." Then Mom explains that this group of bikers with butch haircuts "randomly bursts into people's homes and chews on their carpet."
Where other shows are happy to throw out some nod-and-wink innuendo for the grownups, Cow and Chicken devoted pretty much the rest of the episode to it. The group invites Cow to one of their softball outings...

GET IT BECAUSE LESBIANS PLAY SOFTBALL
...where she can learn about "pitching" and "catching" which, while being another gay joke, is used here to insult the wrong gender. Jesus, guys, if you can't keep your 80s stand-up comedy gay stereotypes straight, how are the children supposed to learn?


[pic - click to view]




#3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - The Oedipal Zombie

This one doesn't involve sly s3xual innuendo, but we wish it did. The season four episode of the Turtles' 2003 revamp, "Insane in the Membrane," may be the most disturbing 23 minutes ever vaguely a.ssociated with Cypress Hill. It was deemed too fu-ked up to be aired on television (although it's included on the DVD).

The episode revolves around Baxter Stockman, April O'Neil's former boss and the inventor of the Mousers. After an increasing series of failures, Stockman has been reduced from a mildly handsome man in his early 30s to a significantly less handsome brain in a jar. So as a practical and totally not impossible solution, he starts building a clone of his old body to transfer his consciousness into. Seems like pretty standard cartoon stuff so far.
Unfortunately, something goes wrong and his new body begins rotting like a corpse, losing pieces as the episode progresses until it's just a mass of missing fingers and exposed muscle tissue and tendons.

At one point, part of his jawbone falls off and starts flapping around like the top of a hobo's top hat.

On top of all that, his mind starts deteriorating as well, giving him flashbacks throughout the episode to his innocent childhood and his dead mother. He also becomes convinced that he should k!ll April, whom he keeps calling "momma" as he slips in and out of hallucinations, tossing the kids a murderous Oedipal Complex to go along with the walking corpse of a black man they've been watching for the past 20 minutes.
Do we need to stop and remind everyone that this is a cartoon about pizza-eating turtles?
At some point between the episode's production and its scheduled airing, somebody in the studio realized the carnival of horror they were about to unleash on the children of America and decided to pull it, though it is still readily available to any kid with 15 bucks to spend on the DVD.

[video - click to view]



#2. Chowder - Ice Cream Ejaculation
Chowder stars the titular Chowder, a tiny blue monster of indeterminate origin training to be a chef, which is horrifying when you consider that his world is populated by anthropomorphized food, so at any given moment he is fricasseeing the corpse of a neighbor or loved one.
Anyway, the episode "Chowder and Mr. Fugu" finds Chowder in the care of Mr. Fugu, a bloated tomato monster with a blue toupee and no eyes.

Chowder buys a giant, stupendously phallic-looking ice cream cone (which for some reason he calls "thrice cream") which Mr. Fugu proceeds to eat.
The cone, inexplicably encouraging his own demise, tells Chowder to poke a hole in him and suck the cream out of the bottom. When Chowder agrees that this is a perfect idea, the ice cream cone quips, "Tell that to my wife..." implying that not only do ice cream cones get married, but that this particular marriage is being shattered by a drought of oral s3x.

[pic - click to view]


Ah, we're probably reading too much into it. After all, it's not like they intentionally drew the ice cream cone in such a way as to make it look unmistakably like two balls and a p*nis.

Not in the least. And there's certainly nothing weird about the way Mr. Fugu gives them a frantic spinning tongue bath.

Just forget we said anything.

#1. Rocko's Modern Life - Testicle Trauma

Rocko's Modern Life was one of the real pioneers in the "see what we can slip past the censors" cartoon genre. Creator Joe Murray claims that one of the series' biggest goals was to incorporate adult humor and references into the show that would likely sail over the heads of children. Predictably, this meant lots and lots of p*nis jokes.

So there's Rocko's local hang-out The Chokey Chicken, a focal point of the show where characters and plot-lines could intertwine. It's also a masturbation joke. Then there's Rocko's brief stint as a telephone operator, as the instructions on the wall behind him helpfully remind all employees to "Be Hot, Be Naughty, and Be Courteous" while he repeats "Oh baby" into the receiver. We never get a specific job description, and that's typically the way it works. You don't know it's dirty unless you know phone s3x is a already a thing, as most seven-year-olds probably don't.
Also noteworthy is his pal Heffer's machine induced orgasm, initiated by a farmer that was apparently too dumb to realize that cows typically have more than one udder.
And then, there is the testicle trauma. It starts out innocently enough, with Rocko approaching a bush full of berries. He goes to grab one, trying to pinch it and pull it free...

He hears a horrible scream. The "bush" turns out to be a sleeping animal. The "berry" was its now-crushed testicle.
a
The beast comes running out, clutching its traumatized scrotum, knowing that its chance of ever having offspring have been reduced by half.

Innuendo is one thing, guys. But for the love of God, we do not need our children growing up thinking this is a funny thing to try on strangers. For everyone's sake.


[pic - click to view]



[pic - click to view]


36 comments for "The 6 Creepiest Things Ever Slipped Into Children's Cartoons"

 5 years ago '06        #2
bunnz17 111 heat pts111
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 YungPrinceNY said:
#6. Animaniacs - Fingering Prince
The whole secret to the success of a cartoon like Animaniacs is to appeal both to the kiddies who like animated slapstick, and to the college kids who like the quick inside jokes clearly intended to sail over the toddlers' heads. Then, sometimes, they'll throw in a reference to fingering a man's anus.

For example, we have the episode "Hercule Yakko"--an oblique reference to Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot that no child would get--where the Warner siblings act as detectives on board a cruise ship as they look for a stolen diamond. Right off the bat Yakko is making a Charlie Chan joke, a reference to a racist detective serial from the first half of the 20th century that we're guessing not even the college kids caught.
But then Yakko tells Dot to "dust for prints." She returns with pop musician and noted enemy of the Internet, Prince, who for some reason is hanging around on a children's cartoon luxury liner.

Yakko tells her, "No, finger prints." Dot and Prince share an awkward glance, before she says, "I don't think so" and tosses Prince through a port window, where he presumably drowns. That's right: The whole joke is she misheard the instructions as "finger Prince."

We believe this is the first time in the history of children's entertainment that they've broached the subject of a cartoon character going knuckle diving in a pop star's as-hole. If some other show blazed this trail first, be sure to let us know in the comments.



#5. Pokemon - Man b00bs

There are a few Pokemon episodes that haven't made it to American shores for various reasons, either because they're a little too seizure-inducing, a little too violent or just racist enough.

The show's kind of fu-ked up.
In Beauty and the Beach, Team Rocket enters a "Beach Beauty and Pokemon Costume Contest" as part of their ill-defined nefarious scheme to kidnap Ash's Pikachu so it can power a doomsday device. And because it makes more sense than anything else in the history of the show, this means the male character James has to throw on a pair of giant brea$ts for the swimsuit portion.

What kind of swimsuit competition allows two people who are clearly adults to compete against children is unfortunately never explained. Scenes from the uncut Japanese episode have found their way to YouTube but are unfortunately in Japanese with no subtitles.


[pic - click to view]




#4. Cow and Chicken - Carpet Munching

Cow and Chicken is a program best known for desperately trying to be Ren and Stimpy but succeeding mostly in being humorless and annoying. Proving that above all else it recognizes its audience, the show's episode "Buffalo Gals" aims straight for the kids' funny bones with jokes about terrifying lesbian bikers.

The episode opens with Cow and Chicken coming down for breakfast with their parents, who it is important to note are both human beings that evidently lost their arms in some kind of accident because they use their feet to do everything. Then a fierce female motorcycle gang called the Buffalo Gals suddenly bursts into the house, with no explanation as to why they selected this particular home or why they chose to invade it at 8 a.m.
Once inside, they promptly drop to their knees and begin to... chew furiously on the carpet.

If you're from a part of the world with different lesbian slang, or have just led a very sheltered life, the whole "carpet munching" thing is a reference to female oral s3x. Apparently the writers were also afraid that simply showing the action would be too subtle a joke, so first we get the main characters mistaking the bikers for men, calling one of them "sir," at which point they introduce themselves as "the Buffalo Gals." Then Mom explains that this group of bikers with butch haircuts "randomly bursts into people's homes and chews on their carpet."
Where other shows are happy to throw out some nod-and-wink innuendo for the grownups, Cow and Chicken devoted pretty much the rest of the episode to it. The group invites Cow to one of their softball outings...

GET IT BECAUSE LESBIANS PLAY SOFTBALL
...where she can learn about "pitching" and "catching" which, while being another gay joke, is used here to insult the wrong gender. Jesus, guys, if you can't keep your 80s stand-up comedy gay stereotypes straight, how are the children supposed to learn?


[pic - click to view]




#3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - The Oedipal Zombie

This one doesn't involve sly s3xual innuendo, but we wish it did. The season four episode of the Turtles' 2003 revamp, "Insane in the Membrane," may be the most disturbing 23 minutes ever vaguely a.ssociated with Cypress Hill. It was deemed too fu-ked up to be aired on television (although it's included on the DVD).

The episode revolves around Baxter Stockman, April O'Neil's former boss and the inventor of the Mousers. After an increasing series of failures, Stockman has been reduced from a mildly handsome man in his early 30s to a significantly less handsome brain in a jar. So as a practical and totally not impossible solution, he starts building a clone of his old body to transfer his consciousness into. Seems like pretty standard cartoon stuff so far.
Unfortunately, something goes wrong and his new body begins rotting like a corpse, losing pieces as the episode progresses until it's just a mass of missing fingers and exposed muscle tissue and tendons.

At one point, part of his jawbone falls off and starts flapping around like the top of a hobo's top hat.

On top of all that, his mind starts deteriorating as well, giving him flashbacks throughout the episode to his innocent childhood and his dead mother. He also becomes convinced that he should k!ll April, whom he keeps calling "momma" as he slips in and out of hallucinations, tossing the kids a murderous Oedipal Complex to go along with the walking corpse of a black man they've been watching for the past 20 minutes.
Do we need to stop and remind everyone that this is a cartoon about pizza-eating turtles?
At some point between the episode's production and its scheduled airing, somebody in the studio realized the carnival of horror they were about to unleash on the children of America and decided to pull it, though it is still readily available to any kid with 15 bucks to spend on the DVD.



#2. Chowder - Ice Cream Ejaculation
Chowder stars the titular Chowder, a tiny blue monster of indeterminate origin training to be a chef, which is horrifying when you consider that his world is populated by anthropomorphized food, so at any given moment he is fricasseeing the corpse of a neighbor or loved one.
Anyway, the episode "Chowder and Mr. Fugu" finds Chowder in the care of Mr. Fugu, a bloated tomato monster with a blue toupee and no eyes.

Chowder buys a giant, stupendously phallic-looking ice cream cone (which for some reason he calls "thrice cream") which Mr. Fugu proceeds to eat.
The cone, inexplicably encouraging his own demise, tells Chowder to poke a hole in him and suck the cream out of the bottom. When Chowder agrees that this is a perfect idea, the ice cream cone quips, "Tell that to my wife..." implying that not only do ice cream cones get married, but that this particular marriage is being shattered by a drought of oral s3x.

[pic - click to view]


Ah, we're probably reading too much into it. After all, it's not like they intentionally drew the ice cream cone in such a way as to make it look unmistakably like two balls and a p*nis.

Not in the least. And there's certainly nothing weird about the way Mr. Fugu gives them a frantic spinning tongue bath.

Just forget we said anything.

#1. Rocko's Modern Life - Testicle Trauma

Rocko's Modern Life was one of the real pioneers in the "see what we can slip past the censors" cartoon genre. Creator Joe Murray claims that one of the series' biggest goals was to incorporate adult humor and references into the show that would likely sail over the heads of children. Predictably, this meant lots and lots of p*nis jokes.

So there's Rocko's local hang-out The Chokey Chicken, a focal point of the show where characters and plot-lines could intertwine. It's also a masturbation joke. Then there's Rocko's brief stint as a telephone operator, as the instructions on the wall behind him helpfully remind all employees to "Be Hot, Be Naughty, and Be Courteous" while he repeats "Oh baby" into the receiver. We never get a specific job description, and that's typically the way it works. You don't know it's dirty unless you know phone s3x is a already a thing, as most seven-year-olds probably don't.
Also noteworthy is his pal Heffer's machine induced orgasm, initiated by a farmer that was apparently too dumb to realize that cows typically have more than one udder.
And then, there is the testicle trauma. It starts out innocently enough, with Rocko approaching a bush full of berries. He goes to grab one, trying to pinch it and pull it free...

He hears a horrible scream. The "bush" turns out to be a sleeping animal. The "berry" was its now-crushed testicle.
a
The beast comes running out, clutching its traumatized scrotum, knowing that its chance of ever having offspring have been reduced by half.

Innuendo is one thing, guys. But for the love of God, we do not need our children growing up thinking this is a funny thing to try on strangers. For everyone's sake.


[pic - click to view]



[pic - click to view]

 5 years ago '06        #3
Prince Ace 35 heat pts35
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even at a young age i knew Rockos Modern Life was on some other shyt
 5 years ago '09        #4
K0ntrast 63 heat pts63
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good post!
 5 years ago '07        #5
jack_napier 
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dope post indeed
 5 years ago '06        #6
RAZAH CUTS 5835 heat pts5835
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 Prince Ace said:
even at a young age i knew Rockos Modern Life was on some other shyt
yup, same with Ren & Stimpy...
 5 years ago '06        #7
kyh0mpb 11 heat pts11
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 Prince Ace said:
even at a young age i knew Rockos Modern Life was on some other shyt
I'll never forget watchin that sh*t and my dad walks in and starts dying laughing at the island called "Balzak"

To this day he still thinks that sh*t's hilarious
 07-11-2012, 02:01 AM         #8
Krazy K 
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Never saw that Animanics episode or don't remember it but I wouldn't have gotten that reference as a kid.That TMNT episode is weird as fuk and the Cow N Chicken one was funny. I think it was better than Ren N Stimpy


I always knew Rocko was fukked up, wtf kinda show has n*pples of the Future?

 kyh0mpb said:
I'll never forget watchin that sh*t and my dad walks in and starts dying laughing at the island called "Balzak"

To this day he still thinks that sh*t's hilarious
 5 years ago '11        #9
Grizzab 11 heat pts11
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 Flash Kick said:
I watch it on netflix every night . yo that turtle called the cow a F@gget
 5 years ago '10        #10
Superboy504 13 heat pts13
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I see they forgot Ren and Stimpy... that was on some other sh*t too!!!
 5 years ago '11        #11
Broseph Stalin 29 heat pts29
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i knew shows like ren & stimpy,cow & chicken, & rockos modern life weren't for kids, this is why i always used to feel guilty watching that sh*t with my parents in the room
 5 years ago '07        #12
Ghost Terp 18 heat pts18
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Rocko was one of my favorite cartoons growing up. Still remember when Spunky turned red, and shot off into the air like a rocket
 5 years ago '10        #13
Delbert Mengel 28 heat pts28
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 Superboy504 said:
I see they forgot Ren and Stimpy... that was on some other sh*t too!!!
ren and stimpy was obviously aimed at an older audience though. i know over here they showed it a lot later in the afternoon than kids shows.
 5 years ago '09        #14
ImAMonster 407 heat pts407
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They needa bring em back. These shows now promote f*ggotry and soft a.ss little bi*ch-made sh*t.
 5 years ago '12        #15
Carib Breeze 28 heat pts28
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Billy and Mandy had some adult sh*t in there for interpretation too........ Where ren and stimpy on the list tho?
 5 years ago '07        #16
Ghost Terp 18 heat pts18
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The most recent cartoon that was had a lot of innuendo's in it was The Misadventures of Flapjack. Maple syrup is liquor and candy is drugs (sometimes liquor as well). There's a character named Eight-Armed Willy, an octopus that has an eye patch. So he might as well be called One-Eyed Willy
 5 years ago '08        #17
Deion 1 heat pts
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 ImAMonster said:
They needa bring em back. These shows now promote f*ggotry and soft a.ss little bi*ch-made sh*t.
Ren and Stimpy were actually f*ggots though breh. I'm all for bringing back Rocko's Modern Life




[video - click to view]



Last edited by Deion; 07-11-2012 at 09:45 AM..
 5 years ago '07        #18
240ka 49 heat pts49
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Ed, Edd, n Eddy is still my sh*t. All that cartoon was about was Hustling and addiction...that sh*t is about Drugs.

Them coming up with ways to hustle the kids in the neighbor to get money for those big a.ss jaw breakers which were like crack to all the kids. The Eds were something like a mini Mob or Cartel.

Ed - The Muscle (having retard strength)
Edd (Double D) - the Brains (brings Eddys schemes to fruition)
Eddy - the Schemer (Always plotting thinking of the next Scheme)


Also. In High School I wrote a paper on how Alice in the WonderLand was about Drugs, which it was. Obviously the creator was tripping balls while writing it. Think of all that vivid colors and the things she'd consume. Uppers, downers and such. I was sent to the office and had to explain it to the Principal. He understood exactly what I was getting at and told the teacher to give me an A. haha

Sammy was a G. Which there was a Black version of Alice in the Wonderland LIke the The Wiz(Black version of "Wizard of Oz")


Last edited by 240ka; 07-11-2012 at 11:04 AM..
 5 years ago '12        #19
OrangeSoda 98 heat pts98
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^ edd edd and eddy was raw.
 5 years ago '07        #20
240ka 49 heat pts49
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Very.
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