Top 10 Types of People on Facebook

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 6 years ago '11        #1
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Backflipz 84 heat pts84
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Top 10 Types of People on Facebook
 

 
1) The 10 out of 10


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Expect 10 million guys commenting/liking every status. Coincidentally expect almost no girl comments on photos, as chicks don’t comment on chicks hotter than them. Be ready for 4,657 friends, all guys who want her or girls who want to use the girls’ status to get sloppy seconds.

2) Spamatron 5000


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Remember that one time you were at a club and some random promoter guy talked to you for a few minutes? No? Well he does motherfu-ker. After you naively add them on Facebook expect ten million invites to parties, groups, and fan pages you don’t care about. This will continue for a certain time span. We call this time span: Forever.

3) The Attention wh0ore


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Every update is the same, “omg i hate my life”, “why does everything happen to me”, “where are all the good guyzz/ girlzz, hate my lifeeeee” attention whoring. Girl most likely is upper middle class, in college with food, and working internet connection. She also has it worse than a 2 year old war orphan in Somalia.

Live. Laugh. Attention wh0ore ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

4) White Knight Virgin


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Oh heavenly blessed beauty won’t you talk to me? The White Knight will ‘like’ and comment every girl’s status and photo within a 20 mile radius, hoping to get laid. Every guy will subconsciously white knight in their youth till they realize what really works. Not giving a fu-k. That’s what gets you laid.

Don’t end up like this guy:


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5) Forever Alone


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Forever Alone hasn’t received a Facebook notification since January 7, 2001. He lives his days reloading his mailbox, checking his Iphone for new messages, uploading photos with no comments or likes except his own. His most recent Friend request came from his mom. Forever alone.

6) The Myspace Angle


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Foolish enough to look only at her profile pic you were! How did this occur? Profile pic is white knight bait. Pic was never an eight. Why did you message her that day? Facebook should say how much you weigh.

7) Captain Deactivate


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Captain Deactivate will delete her Facebook systematically once or twice a month in a cry for attention. Since everybody knows you can never truly delete your account, people use this method to attention wh0ore. Of course inevitably Captain Deactivate realizes nobody really cares and returns. Only to repeat the cycle a week afterwards.

92 comments for "Top 10 Types of People on Facebook"

 6 years ago '11        #2
Backflipz 84 heat pts84 OP
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8 ) What Ever Happened to ____ After Highschool

Before:


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After:


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How this happened? Was it: Years of binge drinking? Five Kids? One too many boxes of Twinkies? Who knows. Let this be a lesson for you youngsters out there who think you’re gonna be the same forever. Put down the Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets. And the Ben & Jerry’s while watching Twilight.

9) Never Logon Dude


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He registered once long, long ago. When Myspace was around, when Facebook didn’t have a stalk feed. When people still used AOL Instant Messenger. Every few years Never Logon Dude will log on , check out some photos of hot chick friends, and disappear once again to the abyss of profiles. Commonly a.ssociated with Captain Deactivate.

10) The Most Interesting Man in the World


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Doesn’t exist, any dude that interesting would not have a Facebook. And if he did it would be for PR purposes only, and probably written by some schmuck working for him while he was banging supermodels left and right on his yacht in the Caribbean.

-Written by Nir Regev

 6 years ago '09        #3
Chalky 314 heat pts314
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i swear girls be getting 100+ likes in 2 minutes

i be like


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 6 years ago '06        #4
Hit Em' Up 61 heat pts61
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I had that as my display pic on facebook for a while...sh*t is sooooo true.
 6 years ago '11        #5
Backflipz 84 heat pts84 OP
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 Hit Em' Up said:

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I had that as my display pic on facebook for a while...sh*t is sooooo true.
YESS!

One of my n*ggas was simpin this one broad hard because of her profile pic that just showed an attractive angle of her face

Then I had to pull this fool to the side and show her what she looked like at school. Shorty was short, busted, fat and had already had a kid by some trailer park dude and all I could do was laugh


Last edited by Backflipz; 03-09-2012 at 11:10 PM..
 6 years ago '07        #6
MythMade 6 heat pts
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That Forever Alone dude
 6 years ago '11        #7
Two Pistols 18 heat pts18
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I hate the ppl who are always complaining and acting all emo and sh*t. "NOBODY LOVES ME" Yeah you're right go gargle some thumbtacks.
 6 years ago '11        #8
ThrowedNDaGame 43 heat pts43
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 NCsFinest89 said:
I hate the ppl who are always complaining and acting all emo and sh*t. "NOBODY LOVES ME" Yeah you're right go gargle some thumbtacks.
 6 years ago '06        #9
Hit Em' Up 61 heat pts61
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 Frank Hampton said:
YESS!

One of my n*ggas was simpin this one broad hard because of her profile pic that just showed an attractive angle of her face

Then I had to pull this fool to the side and show her what she looked like at school. Shorty was short, busted, fat and had already had a kid by some trailer park dude and all I could do was laugh :pumpersmile:
Yea...theres a rule of thumb I have. Never trust a picture of a woman that she took herself. Women use all sorts of lighting and camara angles and they will take pic after pic until they find an angle/position where they look good in and then post that sh*t. And then unsuspecting people like me n you see that sh*t and say cot dam that bi*ch is fine....then when you find out what they really look like....
 6 years ago '98        #10
ronnie|A 10 heat pts10
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80% of the peeps I knew from HS fall into #8. That fast high school metabolism slows and nearly everyone started getting fat
 6 years ago '11        #11
Chad09 160 heat pts160
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Facebook Sucks.
 6 years ago '05        #12
THEINFAMOUS 19 heat pts19
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I know plenty of 8s

Im a mix of 9 & 7 cuz i deactivated my sh*t and i dont plan on ever coming back
 6 years ago '04        #13
Calamity 8 heat pts
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Do twitter!!!!
 03-10-2012, 09:48 PM         #14
Ca$h Out 
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I'm the never log on dude...

Every once in a while i'll log in to see whats the word.
 6 years ago '04        #15
nobody 1 heat pts
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I was number 9 until I deactivated that sh*t. Facebook is garbage, social network sites on a whole are garbage. If I wanted to read about people crying about how there lives suck id watch soaps.
 03-10-2012, 09:51 PM         #16
drumgangP 
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lol they didnt include those of us who get on there just to laugh at people and poke fun. I say seriously random sh*t on facebook. And clown peoples pics
 03-10-2012, 10:02 PM         #17
R3KT915 
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 ra1n said:
They need to add:

Attention wh0ores that have their babies as their profile pics and constantly post about how their baby is "soooo smart, cute, and unique"
I hate that sh*t too.. Ain't no one give a damn about ur kid just post ur a.ss pic and maybe I'll comment haha fu*kin dumb a.ss hoes haha
 6 years ago '04        #18
torious 69 heat pts69
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thats why i deleted fb tho
 03-10-2012, 10:10 PM         #19
GOD999 
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I know plenty of 1's and 3's.

The worst ones are the hoes pretending they aren't. The one's that be making up bullsh*t excuses for their hoe ways being exploited and misuse "Haters" as if it's the whole world against them

Facebook really do be giving folks egos, mayne
 6 years ago '10        #20
TiestoFriendly 6 heat pts
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 Mel Rose said:
man fu*k i hate being pudgy now

i was skinny as a rail back in HS now i got this pudg that wont go away:sad:

its all this weed and rodeo burgers from bk:sad2:

i was that n*gga back in high school tho

can't take that away from me
i dunno why but this post made me laugh
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