Shaq Speaks: Iím At A Low-C Performance Level As An Analyst, And I Donít See How The Fuk Steve Nash

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 6 years ago '08        #1
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T2THEONE 859 heat pts859
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Shaq Speaks: Iím At A Low-C Performance Level As An Analyst, And I Donít See How The Fuk Steve Nash
 

 

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 Shaq Speaks: I’m At A Low-C Performance Level As An Analyst, And I Don’t See How The Fu*k Steve Nash Won Two MVPs


Part of a long interview


Shaq's been pretty bad on Inside the NBA. He's playing the Barkley role at a sub-Barkley level, and Barkley's right over there, anyway. Thankfully, Shaq knows it, he tells Vibe.


I'm at a low C. I'm learning and will only get better. I just want to keep people entertained. I don't want to be talking with the big vocabulary and all that bullsh*t. I'm short and to the point. I'm very educated and can give you somewhat of a vocabulary, but I don't get to the philosophical side.

The Big Aristotle also holds court on Steve Nash:


VIBE: Some sportswriters think you underachieved because you only won one MVP.

Shaq: Steve Nash is my boy, but I don't see how the fu*k he got it twice. I was taught never to complain because you can't beat the system. People know who the real dominant guy was. But Steve Nash, I don't want to say it because you might print it and it might cause problems. I don't believe he beat me out twice.

And we learn about the testicular situation on the 2002 Kings, despite minor historical inaccuracies:


VIBE: The trash talk against Sacramento worked. Peja Stojakovic and Doug Christie missed open threes down the stretch.

Shaq: They were shook. Pressure busts pipes. Most of those guys were playing because of C-Webb's balls. C-Webb had balls and White Chocolate [Jason Williams] had balls. [Writer's Note: Williams was traded from Sacramento before the 2001–02 season, and didn't play in that series.]

Divac ain't got no balls. Doug Christie damn sure ain't got no balls. I would look at them during the national anthem. I could see in their eyes if they were scared. I would see Doug Christie looking and doing the thing [flashing hand signals] to his wife. I would make eye contact with Divac, and he looked down. And I was like, "Okay, I got him." C-Webb would try to look hard, but it didn't work because his other puppies didn't play well.


Now, settle this barbershop argument: Would the Lakers have three-peated if you replaced Kobe Bryant with either Allen Iverson or Tracy McGrady?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was going to do what I do, which was 29 and 15. And you know those guys could have given you what Kobe was doing. So yeah, hell yeah. Definitely.


You’ve described how you and Kobe almost got into a fist fight at practice. Do you admire him for not backing down from you?

It’s not that he didn’t back down. I was on one side of the room and he was on the other. He is a tough kid, but, well, tough don’t matter. I like to fight tough people. He’s a tough stubborn kid, and he’s going to do it his way. He did it his way. The young Mafia don did it his way and got the Don Dada whacked.

Lakers fans were mad when you delayed surgery before the 2002–03 season and said, “I got hurt on company time, so I’m going to heal on company time.”

It’s true. A lot of people don’t know this, but they didn’t have enough insurance to cover my foot. They didn’t. My contract was $100 [million.] So if I can’t play, I have to get that fu*king money. That’s why I had to go to UCLA and get it done. I’m wasting time waiting on them. I would go to the doctor and they’d say, “Come back next week.” They made it look like that.

I never told the story, but the whole story was that they didn’t have enough insurance to cover my big toe. So once they got enough insurance, it was like, “Hey, if we fu*k it up, you’re going to get your $100 million.” “Okay, cut it open.” I’m not going to let you cut me if it’s not insured. They only had like $20 million coverage with Lloyd’s of London.


After leaving Los Angeles, you had a volatile relationship with Pat Riley in Miami.

When he first came, he was cool as sh*t. We had short practices, no yelling and we won a championship. The next summer he went back to the old Pat.


He didn’t want you guys in “chill-out mode.”

Exactly. But I played better in chill-out mode. I don’t like to come into the party with my d!ck hard all the time. You have to pace yourself. How many times have you seen a team come out 9-0 and then don’t get close to winning a championship?

I like to chill and then get into k!ll mode about 10 games before the Playoffs. It always worked for me, and I wasn’t going to change my method for no one. He wanted me to eat salad. I’m not going to do that.


Where do you rank on the big-man scale?

I rank myself number five. One would probably be Kareem because he has the most points, and then Wilt, and then Bill Russell, and then Hakeem [Olajuwon] and then myself.


Really, Hakeem?

Hell, yeah. I rank Hakeem over me because he roasted me. He’s the only man that ever roasted me.


What would you do in your prime against this group of NBA centers?

If I played now, I’d be averaging 45 and 19. People always try to compare Dwight Howard to me. There is no comparison. Back then, every team had a legitimate center and a backup center. The only people he has to go against are [Andrew] Bynum and [Kendrick] Perkins. And he’s only averaging 22 points, so I don’t really see the comparison.

That’s why I have a Jay-Z quote on the inside of my arm: “Don’t compare me to nobody/I’d rather not be mentioned/I’m offended.” I have it right there on my bicep. I’ll show it to you if you don’t believe me. You like that quote, don’t you?


In your book, you partly blame your marriage’s failure on you being a “male diva.” What did that teach you?

I learned that especially with not having my family around that you have to break yourself down and care about everybody else. I can do this all day, but if I lose a game, I’m fu*king pissed. Don’t say nothing to me. A lot of times, she got it unfairly because I can’t let the people see me like that. After a loss, I was just… She’s a wonderful person, and I was never really taught how to be in a relationship. I don’t know if most men who are were taught. But I never knew how to court a girl. I was so shy. I don’t use that as an excuse, but she is a wonderful person and does a great job at raising the kids. And things happened. Now that it has happened we have to focus on being the best parents possible.

Knowing Kobe, do you think his divorce will affect his play?

The only thing that will affect him is if he can’t see his beautiful babies. I don’t want to say that he doesn’t care about all that other stuff, but he has thick skin. But if there ever is a point that he can’t see his babies when he wants to, that might throw his game off. But I don’t really see anything else throwing off his game.


Last edited by T2THEONE; 02-27-2012 at 06:56 PM..

113 comments for "Shaq Speaks: Iím At A Low-C Performance Level As An Analyst, And I Donít See How The Fuk Steve Nash"

 6 years ago '06        #2
banga 8 heat pts
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at least he knows he sucks at being an analyst.

Now, settle this barbershop argument: Would the Lakers have three-peated if you replaced Kobe Bryant with either Allen Iverson or Tracy McGrady?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was going to do what I do, which was 29 and 15. And you know those guys could have given you what Kobe was doing. So yeah, hell yeah. Definitely.
:guns:
 6 years ago '10        #3
Agentzer0oo0 209 heat pts209
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I've actually appreciated him on the show even though he hasn't been that great. I know 90% of boxden just wants him gone, but give it time he'll get better.
 02-27-2012, 06:44 PM         #4
DrX 
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lol if this real then shaq got quotes for days

"Divac ain't got no balls. Doug Christie damn sure ain't got no balls. I would look at them during the national anthem. I could see in their eyes if they were scared. I would see Doug Christie looking and doing the thing [flashing hand signals] to his wife. I would make eye contact with Divac, and he looked down. And I was like, "Okay, I got him." C-Webb would try to look hard, but it didn't work because his other puppies didn't play well.

but c webb was a bi*ch to and a career choker


"Exactly. But I played better in chill-out mode. I don’t like to come into the party with my d!ck hard all the time. You have to pace yourself. How many times have you seen a team come out 9-0 and then don’t get close to winning a championship?"
 6 years ago '04        #5
torious 67 heat pts67
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shaq always keep it 100... first page
 6 years ago '11        #6
whothebestmc 98 heat pts98
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inb4 lakers/kobe stans bash shaq for speaking the truth.
 02-27-2012, 06:51 PM         #7
Flacco Da Gawd 
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 P. Dedos said:
ohhhhhhhhhhhh shyt been saying this shyt
Replace Wade with Kobe and he get's you that ring in Miami
 6 years ago '04        #8
LordBlanco|M 50 heat pts50
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Shaq sounding like a goon and keeping it funky.

I dont mind Shaqs commentating either... Is he good? Not really, but he's an OG and his 2 cents is usually priceless so...

On a side note.

Was Shaq drunk when he did this interview? Sounding like he was in the streets doing an interview with his homies in the background for Smack DVD, getting feisty for the camera.


Last edited by LordBlanco; 02-27-2012 at 07:00 PM..
 6 years ago '04        #9
TVee 1 heat pts
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 MY_name said:
Replace Wade with Kobe and he get's you that ring in Miami
Look up Wade's NBA Finals stats vs Kobe's, then try again.
 6 years ago '09        #10
TriniSoldier 64 heat pts64
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Shaq Diesel
 02-27-2012, 06:59 PM         #11
Flacco Da Gawd 
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Well we all know who couldn't win with Shaq




















































 6 years ago '10        #12
USC 79 heat pts79
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Shaq the ring chaser. Win a ring for the King! I'm bringing a championship to PHOENIX! When I get mad I win rings a.ss n*gga

Shaq without Kobe +1 (Played with Wade, Nash, Amare, Lebron, celtics big 4)

Kobe without Shaq +2 (Pau, Lamar, MWP, Drew?)

The real truth was what he said about Nash.
 6 years ago '10        #13
2TopFlite 22 heat pts22
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Shaq a fool Keepin it 100




  234 - 82 STRK: 1 l in a row WIN PCT: 74% 18 (-1) 
  Career: | Aug 17: 268-127, Rank #12 | Aug 16: 347-169, Rank #30 | Aug 15: 945-461, Rank #17 | Aug 14: 1047-586, Rank #5 | Aug 13: 319-183, Rank #13 | Aug 12: 951-559, Rank #8 | Aug 11: 907-560, Rank #16 *
 6 years ago '08        #14
T2THEONE 859 heat pts859 OP
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 JayDawn said:
Shaq the ring chaser. Win a ring for the King! I'm bringing a championship to PHOENIX! When I get mad I win rings a.ss n*gga

Shaq without Kobe +1 (Played with Wade, Nash, Amare, Lebron, celtics big 4)

Kobe without Shaq +2 (Pau, Lamar, MWP, Drew?)

The real truth was what he said about Nash.

ONLY player in NBA HISTORY to win MVP and NEVER play in the NBA FINALS
 6 years ago '06        #15
PG-13 126 heat pts126
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1st page
 6 years ago '09        #16
thegoldenhero 3 heat pts
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sounds bitter than he only got 1 MVP none of Nash MVP's belong to Shaq...Shaq always went harder in the playoffs then in the regular season if he went harder in the regular season he woulda won another MVP in 2001 instead of Iverson
 6 years ago '10        #17
Fly Elroy 321 heat pts321
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 TanstA! said:
Shaq sounding like a goon and keeping it funky.

I dont mind Shaqs commentating either... Is he good? Not really, but he's an OG and his 2 cents is usually priceless so...

On a side note.

Was Shaq drunk when he did this interview? Sounding like he was in the streets doing an interview with his homies in the background for Smack DVD, getting feisty for the camera.
word it do sound like that
 6 years ago '08        #18
iPunish901 12 heat pts12
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@ shaq thinking he would win with AI. stans can get mad, but he is downright wrong on that point.
 6 years ago '05        #19
Dun Language 3971 heat pts3971
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Dope interview. And you wouldn't had won with iverson
 6 years ago '09        #20
WezLFaCe_KiD 57 heat pts57
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damn shaq was keeping one hundred




lol at these kobe stans
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