So, This Is The Saddest Craiglist Post I've Ever Seen

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 6 years ago '07        #1
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119 comments


Ham Rove 3520 heat pts3520
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So, This Is The Saddest Craiglist Post I've Ever Seen
 

 
I *desperately* need to learn about football between now and next week's Super Bowl game. Preferably from someone who was a quarterback in college or the pros, but at the very least someone who knows a lot about quarterbacks.

My girlfriend and I were just invited to a Super Bowl party at her ex-boyfriend's apartment, and to be honest, last time I met him he told me he played football in college and I responded that I did as well --which was a lie.

I don't know why I lied, I guess I just panicked and wanted to impress my girlfriend. Anyway. He asked me what position I played and I told him I played quarterback because that was really the only position I'd heard of.

I really don't know anything about football except for the fact that touchdowns how you score points and sometimes you kick the ball. I've been reading articles on ESPN.com and watching clips online but I don't think it's going to prepare me for questions about actually playing it, or for making good comments during the game. So I need someone who can *quickly* teach me about all of things I would have learned playing football as well as what to say about it.

This person MUST be available each day between now and the Super Bowl game (February 5, 2012), some time between 7-9pm on weekdays or afternoons on Saturday.

This is really important to me. I think my girlfriend still really likes her ex and when we first started dating she cheated on me a few times with him, so I really can't risk looking like an idiot in front of both of them.

Oh, also, her ex played "linebacker." Should I know a lot about playing "linebacker" too? Do quarterbacks normally know about that? I definitely will need to learn all the positions and what they do, but it might help for me to learn something from a "linebacker," if you know one.

Seriously, this is really important. My girlfriend and I are going through a bit of a rough patch now and she keeps threatening to move out. I'm afraid if I get caught lying about this our relationship is over.

I'm offering $500, but would be willing to go higher if you're an actual college or professional football quarterback, and would pay extra if you knew a linebacker you could bring along to teach me about his position.

And if you would be willing to text me good comments to say during the game, I'd to pay you an extra $100 for that. Maybe more if they're good comments.

Please contact me IMMEDIATELY via email if interested.

[pic - click to view]

 Please teach me about football!!!
this has got to be someone from bx
image

119 comments for "So, This Is The Saddest Craiglist Post I've Ever Seen"

 6 years ago '04        #2
justinjones 312 heat pts312
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oh sh!t
 6 years ago '11        #3
Joseph 13 heat pts13
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 6 years ago '06        #4
Kjizzle03 38 heat pts38
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 6 years ago '09        #5
TriniSoldier 69 heat pts69
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thats not even somethin to laugh about altho im sure he's trolling. gotta pity that man's entire existence, living a lie for that hoe
 6 years ago '11        #6
Joseph 13 heat pts13
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 TriniSoldier said:
thats not even somethin to laugh about altho im sure he's trolling. gotta pity that man's entire existence, living a lie for that hoe
yup..
 01-26-2012, 05:49 PM         #7
youknowmystelo 
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[video - click to view]

 6 years ago '05        #8
Based_One 87 heat pts87
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damn I would take him up on the offer that's an easy come up
 6 years ago '07        #9
keithbm1111 97 heat pts97
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Not funny. Just sad and pathetic. I hope no one helps him and his girl friend leaves him for her ex, if this is even true at all.
 6 years ago '04        #10
EGO 55 heat pts55
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I would have been the first n*gga to respond to that ad. I ain't got sh*t to do at nights unless it's Friday or Saturday after 10. Give me that quick 600 and call it a week. But this sh*t is sad, though
 6 years ago '05        #11
Stupendamatic 117 heat pts117
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Damn what the fu*k, how could a man allow himself to be so pathetic. Sad to say but his girl going to be getting piped by her ex come halftime.
 6 years ago '05        #12
QualityRecords 9 heat pts
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Wow I can't imagine having to lie about something like that or anything to try to impress a girl. The fact that they're going to her ex's is hilarious too.
 6 years ago '05        #13
MysticKJ 28 heat pts28
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some sad sh*t if true...
 6 years ago '06        #14
RayG210 43 heat pts43
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LMAO, reminds me of an episode of The Big Bang Theory where Leonard learns about football so he can impress Penny's guy friends.
 6 years ago '05        #15
Gabriel 1 heat pts
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Probably a murderer smh... A movie waitin to happen
 6 years ago '07        #16
st21 1376 heat pts1376
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lmaoooo. if this sh*t is real it is arguably the most pathetic thing i have ever read.

good luck to dude.
 6 years ago '10        #17
Infamous2o1x 23 heat pts23
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nah holdup











 01-26-2012, 06:37 PM         #18
SeaJaiye 
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 minimafia_aj said:
Oh, also, her ex played "linebacker." Should I know a lot about playing "linebacker" too? Do quarterbacks normally know about that?
 6 years ago '04        #19
wheezyfbaby 9 heat pts
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My girlfriend and I were just invited to a Super Bowl party at her ex-boyfriend's apartment, and to be honest, last time I met him he told me he played football in college and I responded that I did as well --which was a lie.

[pic - click to view]

 6 years ago '11        #20
wjcorner 3 heat pts
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:whoa2: shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, easy money for the lucky fu*k that picks that offer up
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