DaOmega_1's Top 10 WORST of 2011

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 6 years ago '05        #1
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DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271
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DaOmega_1's Top 10 WORST of 2011
 

 
2011 is almost over…. DONE… FINISHED! And, it is that time of year to compile all the best movies of the year… Of course, however, that is not what this particular piece of writing is. NO, this is the worst of 2011 list… And, this year, we have not one… not two… but THREE Adam Sandler a.ssociated films on this list… Thank Jesus I “happened” to miss “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star”, because I’m pretty sure it would’ve been the 4th Adam Sandler a.ssociated film on this list. They may be some controversial choices on this list, but then again… Aren’t there always? Let’s dive into it…


10). Battle: Los Angeles

The loudest and most chaotic action movie of the year… It also happens to be the most boring one as well. The movie is filled a laundry list of clichés and contrivances that make every inch of this film feel like a Call of Duty video game, AND a NOT-GOOD one at that. With shaky-cam action in which you can’t tell anything apart, it’s more nauseating than it is exciting. I mean, the lines these actors are forced to say, and the speeches they’re forced to give is f*cking EMBARASSING. Every damn inch of this movie oozes lameness from the opening scene to the end credits.

9). Colombiana
Well, would you look at this? Another boring action movie from the Luc Besson generic-action-movie-factory. May I ask a question? Why do we bring great foreign filmmakers to America just to f*ck them up, and have them create nothing but crap? Colombiana is another in a long line of generic dumb action movies from Luc Besson. What is even more shocking is that it feels like he’s REPEATING himself… badly. At one point, the movie is “Le Femme Nakita”. At another point, it becomes “The Professional”. Then, there’s a little bit of “Taken” thrown in with a tiny dash of “The Transporter”. This movie SUCKS. Hopelessly derivative, and boring. Not even the action scenes are fun or exciting, they’re all just kinda… dull… And, this director is the guy who is making “Taken 2”…… Be afraid… Be very afraid.

8). Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
I was much too forgiving of this film in my original review. Over time, it has had the chance to fester in my head, and the more I think about it, the more I just hate it…. Here is a film in a franchise that I’ve always liked. I liked that these films played with different mythologies to compose of their own…. THIS time, there is a stupid plot involving “the fountain of youth”. There is a villain… who isn’t scary. A femme fatale… played by a good actress in a performance so bad, that she needs to have a acting credentials revoked for good. And, Johnny Depp once again as Jack Sparrow, only this time, its more annoying, and more obnoxious. They introduce elements that could be good, but they never let them flesh out. It’s just trash… It’s a film that feels more like a tax write off than anything else.

7). A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
I just don’t find it funny… Plain and simple. And, I was expecting to laugh because I love that first film, and liked what I saw of the 2nd film… Maybe what I really dislike about it is that these jokes are just so… damn… tired… and predictable. Dear Christ, this movie is… just sad to me. Every joke presented here, to me, falls flat, and goes exactly where I predicted it would go… Not even the GOD, NPH himself can save this movie with his 5 minutes of screen time…. LAME.

6). Abduction
If there is one film on this list so bad that it becomes good, it would be “Abduction”. Directed by a near-catatonic John Singleton, the movie is just plain bad… On a story level, AND VARIOUS technical levels that, if I were to describe them, this review would be 15 pages long. The plot doesn’t make any damn sense, the acting is f*cking ATROCIOUS…. Even from people who are usually reliable. And, the reason for that is because the dialogue is f*cking atrocious as well… It feels like this movie in Sharpie on the back of a used napkin… Taylor Lautner CANNOT act, and no film proves that more than this one…. Just AWFUL.

5). Beastly
…………Damnit…… F*ck this movie, I’m not writing about this one simply because it is sh*tty, and there are four movies on this list that I have to equally distribute my hatred amoung them. Long story short, this movie is awful.

4). Just Go With It
An early choice for worst of the year, and it only came out in the first quarter of this year. This movie is just garbage. I mean, these jokes… this plot… Adam Sandler’s films only get worst. The really insulting thing about this film is just how f*cking stupid they a.ssume the audience is… This story, the conceit, everything about it is just f*cking lazy……. This would be the worst of the year if not for…

3). The Zookeeper
Another talking animal movie…… There was a moment during watching it that I just became delirious and loop when my brain couldn’t take it anymore. I found myself just burying my head in my hands…. The movie was daring me to walk out at multiple points. Every single joke down to a science is LAME. It feels like a really terrible MADtv skit made worse by Kevin James’ fat a.ss being in it… Now, I thought this would no doubt be the worst movie of the year until I saw…

2). The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence
Bloody. Gory. Violent. Lame. Boring. Pretentious. SH*TTY. Here is a movie that is squarely obsessed with shocking the audience. And, when it does shock you, it points the finger at you as if you shouldn’t enjoy watching this bullsh*t. I don’t give a flying f*ck about a Human Centipede, and the retarded protagonist who is supposed to be representative of the audience (stupid, infantile, demented, vile, s3xual deviant, etc). The violence means nothing because we don’t know these people, and could honestly give a sh*t about ANYONE involved in this stupid centipede. The movie then TOTALLY and COMPLETELY gives a gigantic middle finger to the audience with that f*cking atrocious ending the renders EVERYTHING……. EVERYTHING in the f*cking film meaningless… Good Lord, F*ck this movie… I thought this was the worst of until……….
(sigh)


1). Jack & Jill
Ugh….. Jack & Jill…. is….. wow…. They’re literally not even… trying anymore. Adam Sandler is sleepwalking, the movie went through the Adam Sandler plot generator, and not a single moment in the movie is enjoyable or funny in anyway. I honestly, after watching this movie, wish that Adam Sandler would never… ever… EVER… go in front of a camera for the rest… of his life. These are the kind of films that k!ll people’s careers. Because… I… this movie is so f*cking blatant about HOW LAZY it all is… EVERYTHING about it. From the jokes to the lame cameos to the crass and pointless product placement to the attempts to inject false sentimentality to create the illusion that the film has heart….. I… really wish Adam Sandler would take a good long hard look in the mirror, and really think… “Is this what I’ve been reduced to”…. So, f*ck this movie, and f*ck Adam Sandler……. He can go to hell….
Ah… There was cathartic….. Well, stay tuned for my best of list in a few weeks……… Until then…

Peace


Last edited by DaOmega_1; 12-05-2011 at 03:58 AM..

83 comments for "DaOmega_1's Top 10 WORST of 2011"

 12-05-2011, 06:15 AM         #2
youknowmystelo 
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From what I've seen.
5. In Time
4. What's Your Number?
3. Friends with Benefits
2. Harold and Kumar
1. Cowboys and Aliens
 12-05-2011, 06:36 AM         #3
Drone 
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I think both Adam Sandler movies should be 1 and 2....they were that god awful.
 6 years ago '08        #4
Hiero 112 heat pts112
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Wow, completely forgot about Colombiana. Must've been very bad indeed... Never see/hear anyone talking about it anymore.

Btw, if you had a bottom 15, would Green Lantern be in there?
 6 years ago '04        #5
GodsFavorite 101 heat pts101
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i saw cowboys and aliens for the first time this weekend, not as bad as i was expecting from the reviews
 6 years ago '05        #6
DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271 OP
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 Cooked Brickz said:
Wow, completely forgot about Colombiana. Must've been very bad indeed... Never see/hear anyone talking about it anymore.

Btw, if you had a bottom 15, would Green Lantern be in there?
No, it wouldn't. Because, I personally don't hate it. I don't like it, but for me, it wouldn't even crack the top 20.
 6 years ago '07        #7
TH35 103 heat pts103
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Abduction is a clear number 1 for me. Almost the worst movie I've ever seen.
 6 years ago '05        #8
DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271 OP
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 TH35 said:
Abduction is a clear number 1 for me. Almost the worst movie I've ever seen.
For me, it was really really really hilarious how awful that movie is... And, it didn't really p!ss me off, which automatically shields it from being one of the worst I've ever seen...
 6 years ago '07        #9
TH35 103 heat pts103
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 DaOmega_1 said:
For me, it was really really really hilarious how awful that movie is... And, it didn't really p!ss me off, which automatically shields it from being one of the worst I've ever seen...
All the movies you listed are hilariously awful (IMO) but Abduction served no purpose.
 6 years ago '09        #10
Jacc Blacc 55 heat pts55
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i laughed throughout harold and kumar

wasnt that bad imo

it was better then that Immortal bullsh*t, that movie was a.ss....from beginning till end...something you'd see on SyFy, a fake Clash of the Titans/300
 6 years ago '05        #11
DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271 OP
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 TH35 said:
All the movies you listed are hilariously awful (IMO) but Abduction served no purpose.
Eh.... Jack & Jill and "hilarious" should not be anywhere in the same sentence. Neither should Human Centipede 2, The Zookeeper, and Just Go With It. Beastly and Abduction are all hilariously bad. The rest are just annoying and boring.
 12-05-2011, 12:29 PM         #12
youknowmystelo 
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 TH35 said:
Abduction is a clear number 1 for me. Almost the worst movie I've ever seen.
 6 years ago '05        #13
DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271 OP
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 Jacc Blacc said:
i laughed throughout harold and kumar

wasnt that bad imo

it was better then that Immortal bullsh*t, that movie was a.ss....from beginning till end...something you'd see on SyFy, a fake Clash of the Titans/300
Comedy is definitely subjective... So, my opinion is definitely in the minority on that one (72% on rotten tomatoes), so maybe it's just me.
 12-05-2011, 12:50 PM         #14
youknowmystelo 
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 DaOmega_1 said:
Comedy is definitely subjective... So, my opinion is definitely in the minority on that one (72% on rotten tomatoes), so maybe it's just me.
That script was improvised by some unsophisticated stoner in an hour. I felt like a dumb teenage while watching that, and being surrounded by them didn't help.
 6 years ago '05        #15
DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271 OP
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 youknowmystelo said:
That script was improvised by some unsophisticated stoner in an hour. I felt like a dumb teenage while watching that, and being surrounded by them didn't help.
I'm not above stoner comedy (though I don't smoke weed myself)... It's just that this movie seemed remarkably lazy, to me. You say an hour, but I honestly feel like it was written in the span of 20 minutes.
 6 years ago '07        #16
TH35 103 heat pts103
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 DaOmega_1 said:
Eh.... Jack & Jill and "hilarious" should not be anywhere in the same sentence. Neither should Human Centipede 2, The Zookeeper, and Just Go With It. Beastly and Abduction are all hilariously bad. The rest are just annoying and boring.
Jack & Jill was awful I did laugh at the a few parts w/ the real twins. Whether it was trying to be heart felt or not those parts were the best parts. I've never seen Human Centipede 1 or 2, The Zookeeper, or Beastly and probably never will.
 6 years ago '05        #17
DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271 OP
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 TH35 said:
Jack & Jill was awful I did laugh at the a few parts w/ the real twins.
Hmmmmm... I'm glad you found something to laugh at in the film, because I just sat there slack-jawed as if I was witnessing someone getting shot, bewildered by how not-funny it all was.

My "favorite" cliche.. I mean, part of the movie is the point in
[spoiler - click to view]



Damnit, Hollywood...

 6 years ago '04        #18
SiqkWidaPen|M 3 heat pts
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hmm out of that top 10 ive seen like 2 colombiana and beastly...i thought they were pretty coo for what they were didnt see the othesr
 6 years ago '05        #19
DaOmega_1 271 heat pts271 OP
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 youknowmystelo said:
C'mon...... Abduction was awful...........
 12-05-2011, 06:12 PM         #20
youknowmystelo 
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 DaOmega_1 said:
C'mon...... Abduction was awful...........
Haven't seen it, but its hard to imagine its #1.
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