Chuck Norris Poses With The Cast On 'The Expendables 2' Set

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 6 years ago '04        #81
..:Fame:.. 11 heat pts11
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$6,121 | Props total: 975 975
Chuck Norris beard isn't made of hair its made of tiny fist

Taxes evade Chuck Norris


Last edited by ..:Fame:..; 10-25-2011 at 07:06 AM..
 6 years ago '06        #82
SM 38164 heat pts38164 OP
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$127,792 | Props total: 67131 67131
 6 years ago '07        #83
RJ96 8 heat pts
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 YoungFly said:
i know, but that was the point. Chuck norris is to toughness for the white community, what prince is to s3xyness for the black community.



but on the real if you're still talking about race than you're still not getting it
 6 years ago '08        #84
M 2 heat pts
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I'm crying at work
 10-25-2011, 12:54 PM         #85
Youngonereese 
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i read the first half of the first page and had to give up.....u guys are too funny for life
 6 years ago '07        #86
Deniro732 8 heat pts
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$13,621 | Props total: 2468 2468
chuck norris only has anal s3x with women, because no one is safe from getting their a.ss fu*ked up when messing with him
 6 years ago '10        #87
ecomog 98 heat pts98
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 cottonman5grand said:
Chuck Norris' calendar goes directly from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
oh sh*t
 6 years ago '06        #88
NOCCOWT 9 heat pts
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chuck norris went to heaven and told god to get out his chair
 6 years ago '05        #89
lamarowns 
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 HarbingerOfSwag said:
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
 6 years ago '06        #90
Jnunez21 
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 jeehtoven said:

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this is a funny gif lol but does anyone ever realize he says good f!ght?
 6 years ago '06        #91
Jnunez21 
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and come on people, race doesnt have a face, yall should know this by now
 6 years ago '10        #92
ecomog 98 heat pts98
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 YoungFly said:
jack bauer harder than chuck norris. these jokes should be jack bauer jokes to be honest.
Can't argue with that
 6 years ago '06        #93
droid3000 995 heat pts995
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Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure

Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.

Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including , are also named in the suit.

The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.

It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard."

"Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.

Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.

"Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit.

The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is a.ssociated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment.
 6 years ago '07        #94
Royce207 
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:dead X100000000000000.. all of these are fu*kin hilarious, im dying must leave. . need air


 6 years ago '11        #95
SergDMV 
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x infinite

for those who hate, jus substitute the joke for somebody else you think is a beast like that. simple, now stow that sh*t and laugh cuz you know you did.
 6 years ago '07        #96
Damagegadget 492 heat pts492
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I thought I was going to start them chuck quotes...guess its well known not to kcuf wit chuck.. but without the beard dude look like dolph lundgren...I mean CoCo
 6 years ago '05        #97
Y.G. 27 heat pts27
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 Sewer said:

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What is your avy from?
 6 years ago '10        #98
Billy Hoyle 
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Chuck norris can believe its not butter.
Chuck norris is lukes real father.
Chuck norris once upper cutted a horse and it became a giraffe.
 6 years ago '08        #99
popsjenkins 26 heat pts26
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Chuck Norris has the greatest poker face of all-time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of jail free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green No.4 Uno card.
 6 years ago '07        #100
RJ96 8 heat pts
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 YoungFly said:
jack bauer harder than chuck norris. these jokes should be jack bauer jokes to be honest.
Jack Bauer dont want none of this


[pic - click to view]




edit: actually there are some similar Jack Bauer jokes


Last edited by RJ96; 10-25-2011 at 04:26 PM..
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