9 Athletes with a Ridiculous Amount of Kids (Legitimate and Otherwise)

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Props Slaps
 8 years ago '10        #1
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lboog1423 298 heat pts298
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9 Athletes with a Ridiculous Amount of Kids (Legitimate and Otherwise)
 

 
9. Larry Johnson

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Grandmama was no lady off the court. The number one pick from UNLV sired five kids from four lucky ladies, who currently are getting royalty checks from Converse and “React Juice” sent straight to their houses, circumventing the middleman. He hasn’t made any headlines or fathered any kids since retiring with back problems in 2001, which I guess is something of a success for a guy that has more than a few bastard kids running around.


8. Charles Rodgers

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Five children with four women. He impregnated two women before leaving high school, which is something I never had the joy of doing in prep school. However, he had the misfortune of a) being a pretty big screw-up, and b) playing under Matt Millen for the Lions, who was kind of a screw-up himself. His biggest statistical achievement during the NFL was popping out his fifth kid, which almost matched the total number of games in which he played (15). If this list was a “kids per paycheck” list, he would be the grand champion. As it stands, he’s just a really horny dude that played football for a minute.


7.Marshall Faulk

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Six children with four different women is pretty impressive, I guess. Embracing his role as the “anti-Kurt Warner”, Faulk was busy drilling for yardage both on and off the field, but still lags Travis Henry in the “bastard children” stat line. However, as much s3x as Henry is having in prison, it is unlikely that any of it will result in children, leaving the door open for Faulk to get his freak on during his retired years.


6.Shawn Kemp

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Kemp is confirmed to have fathered seven children with six women, though the number of both children and women is a.ssumed to be higher. This intriguing statistic begs the question, “Who was the lucky lady that was able to draw Kemp back for seconds?” Was she a poet? Did she teach autistic kids the therapeutic values of classical music? Was it Drew Barrymore? Historical records are sketchy, but, sadly, he or she did not find true love, as they are no longer together. Kemp was a hard-working father, though. He continued to provide for his children long after his NBA career ended, when he was found with cocaine, pot, and a pistol. It’s too bad we have to wait 7 months to dole out a retroactive father of the year award.

5.Kenny Anderson

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Seven Children from five different moms, three of which were girlfriends (interpret that how you will) and two were from good ole’-fashioned wives. We can probably a.ssume that he’s not married to more than one of the wives at press time, unless he’s starting a “Sister Wives” type reality show. Anerson boasts two baby mamas of note: Tami Akbar, “star” of Real World: Los Angeles, and Spinderella from Salt n’ Pepa, who presumably never got around to talking to Anderson about s3x.

4. Scott Skiles

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When you read that Scott Skiles has at least six kids, you say to yourself, “I’m not surprised. Mormons have a lot of kids.” When you learn that Scott Skiles has at least six kids out of wedlock, you run the range of human emotions that Brad Pitt does at the end of “Se7en,” which culminates in chucking your laptop against the wall because everything you know in this world is wrong. He will be coaching until he can’t hold a clipboard with that many mouths to feed. There’s a joke to be made about Skiles being the record holder for a.ssists in a game (30), but I’ve got enough faith in you, the reader, that I’m not going to spoon feed you one. Have fun with it. That’s what the comments are for.

3. Evander Holyfield

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A boxer with children out of wedlock? My faith in humanity is shaken. He has nine kids out of wedlock and two with his current wife, making him…extremely fertile. In keeping with boxing law, Holyfield has filed bankruptcy after one baby mama, Toi Irvin (related to Michael Irvin in my mind) has sued him for non-payment of $3k per month child support, and the bank foreclosed on his $10 million Atlanta mansion. The worst part of this whole story is that he can’t even donate his ear for money. Get it? Cause a rapist bit it off! Comedy!

2. Travis Henry

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Variety is the spice of life. Having sired nine kids by nine women, (reports of eleven are unconfirmed) that’s apparently the credo that Travis Henry, recipient of our TPS “Spreading Your Seed Award” lives by. He also lives by the skin of his teeth, as his lawyer had estimated that he spends $170k per year in child support payments. As such, it’s no surprise that Henry decided to moonlight as a cocaine money man. It’s also no surprise that he got caught, as athletes make for awful, awful criminals. Aside from a ten-year sentence, he got hit with about $4 million in fines. Thank God he saved all his money from the NFL. What’s that? Oh. Snap.

1. George Foreman

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Foreman has eleven kids, which is impressive. And kind of crazy. All six of his sons are named George, with the suffixes II, III, IV, etc. It’s also pretty clear that Foreman doesn’t TOTALLY understand naming conventions and suffixes. Oh well. Aside for the high number of offspring and the insane use of ordinal numbers in naming his male offspring, it seems that George can distance himself from other characters on this list by being a father that doesn’t make headlines with illegitimate children or faulty parenting, so name your kids whatever you want, George. You seem to be raising them okay, as far as we know.

38 comments for "9 Athletes with a Ridiculous Amount of Kids (Legitimate and Otherwise)"

 8 years ago '04        #2
#RAPTORSWON 228 heat pts228
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@ George Foreman naming all his sons George... He shoulda named atleast one Ali...
 8 years ago '05        #3
Micheal C. Will 21 heat pts21
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Damn, you would think some of these fools would of stop at 2 or 3....9? 11?.

s**t is f**king sad and I doubt most of these clowns are remotely relevant in there children lives.
 8 years ago '04        #4
W24x55 61 heat pts61
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wheres cro
 7 years ago '05        #5
TheT 21 heat pts21
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 7 years ago '04        #6
Aloyosius3384 14 heat pts14
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 Russ369 said:
@ George Foreman naming all his sons George... He shoulda named atleast one Ali...

Yep Ali Foreman the greatest of all time
 7 years ago '09        #7
TheG1ftedOne 4 heat pts
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no cromartie
 11-22-2010, 11:23 AM         #8
Sephiroth757 
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"Faulk was busy drilling for yardage both on and off the field....."



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 11-22-2010, 11:23 AM         #9
MrBenrexi 
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Where is cro? He has three three year olds. I think his stats were eight kids, seven women, six states.
 7 years ago '09        #10
ReggieA 196 heat pts196
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Where is Jason Caffey, 5 kids by 3 women in 2 different states or something like that.
 7 years ago '05        #11
Santoro 12 heat pts12
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Cromarties s**t on Hard Knocks was great. After the 5th kid he couldn't remember their names and had to think about em.
Foreman also named his girls Georgina or Georgette, some s**t like that.
 7 years ago '06        #12
ThaShark316 86 heat pts86
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@ scott skiles
 7 years ago '06        #13
bud10 1 heat pts
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yea i figured cromatrie would be on this list
@ scott skiles
 7 years ago '05        #14
Based_One 87 heat pts87
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damn I know they child support checks ain't no joke
 7 years ago '05        #15
katalist 231 heat pts231
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Kemp is confirmed to have fathered seven children with six women, though the number of both children and women is a.ssumed to be higher. This intriguing statistic begs the question, “Who was the lucky lady that was able to draw Kemp back for seconds?” Was she a poet? Did she teach autistic kids the therapeutic values of classical music? Was it Drew Barrymore?

 7 years ago '08        #16
AC_89 237 heat pts237
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Scott Skiles
 7 years ago '08        #17
Main Event 55 heat pts55
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Scott Skiles caught me off guard
 7 years ago '05        #18
Santoro 12 heat pts12
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8 Kids

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 7 years ago '04        #19
LightsOut 19 heat pts19
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no wilt?
 7 years ago '05        #20
Micheal C. Will 21 heat pts21
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 LightsOut said:
no wilt?
I'm pretty sure wilt chamberlain didn't have any children...


Last edited by Micheal C. Will; 11-22-2010 at 12:21 PM..
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