U. Of Georgia Student Newspaper Columnist Questions Tim Tebow’s Virginity

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Props Slaps
 10-27-2009, 07:30 PM         #1
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DHARMA 
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U. Of Georgia Student Newspaper Columnist Questions Tim Tebow’s Virginity
 

 
Tim Tebow has never disobeyed God and given a chick the Superman meat missile?

No man can turn down 15,000 Florida hotties every night for four years. UGA Red and Black columnist Nick Plagman says he can’t believe Tebow hasn’t slipped the sausage to UF coeds like these chicks.


I have a tendency to knock college football because of its inferiority to the NFL, so for a change I've decided to discuss a topic I know many, if not all UGA fans will agree with me about, and that's the extreme tool-ness of Tim Tebow.

I first heard of "Timmy!" while dating a chick who'd gone to Florida for undergrad and physical therapy school, thus doubling the annoyingness of her Florida fanaticism. This devotion clouded her judgment to such an extent that she was actually delusional enough to believe Tebow's a virgin. Yes, we can all agree that if he weren't a football star he could be a virgin, but this is simply not the reality.

We were out in Atlanta a couple of Octobers ago when the discussion of college football came up. My friend, who happens to be a real doctor, mentioned to my physical therapist "doctor" girlfriend that he would love to see Tebow break both of his legs. Was that a violation of the Hippocratic Oath, you ask?

Only if he witnessed the leg-breaking, or partook, and failed to come to Tebow's aid.

It's bad enough when highlights of women's (insert sport here) does it, but on Sept. 27, the story stealing time from NFL highlights on SportsCenter was Tebow's concussion. Now, I don't know any of the facts other than what I saw before I changed the channel, but that's not going to stop me from giving my opinion. If there's one thing college football fans are good at, it's giving their opinions even though they have no idea what they're talking about.

No matter how toolish a player is, with the exception of Michael Vick, I don't wish physical harm on any player. You should want your team to win because they're better, not because the other team's star player got hurt.

All Tebow has to do is wait for one of his wide-receivers to get open and turn a 6-yard pass into a 50-yard touchdown. But while Tebow's stats clearly are not commensurate with his skill level, fans of LSU, FSU, UGA and every other school Florida has played can take solace in the fact that Tebow will be the next JaMarcus "I held out for a year and now I'm worse than Vick" Russell in the NFL.

But what about Tammy Tebow the tool? You can't fault the guy for beating everyone's favorite team in football. If he's a great quarterback in Florida's system and keeps kicking the crap out of your team then tell your team to get better. But what most certainly does vault you several tool levels to the status of "Ultimate tool" is convincing thousands of gullible Florida fans that you're a virgin.

Now granted, the man looks like an ugly Brendan Fraser, but is that really going to matter when you're the Heisman and BCS Trophy winning quarterback of a college with an insane amount of hotties?

If there is one difference between men and women, and I do believe that there are at least four, it's that men could never stoop so low as to hook up with a chick because she's a big-shot. You think Oprah has guys throwing themselves at her? Um, no - that's why it was funny on Chappelle's Show. The most famous college football player in the country is getting more tail than Bill Clinton on a rescue mission to North Korea, or Bill Clinton at a fundraiser, or Bill Clinton in Delaware, you get the idea.

Oh, but Timmy is a good Christian boy with good Christian values, and to even imply otherwise would crush his Christian missionary parents. Yeah, whatever. No man can turn down 15,000 Florida hotties every night for four years.

I don't know that for a fact, but if my friend's cousin says she hooked up with him I believe it.

And if 14,999 other girls say the same thing, I believe them, too.


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 Tebow's story too good to be the truth - Opinions

16 comments for "U. Of Georgia Student Newspaper Columnist Questions Tim Tebow’s Virginity"

 10-27-2009, 07:32 PM         #2
Tempus # 1  OP
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Stopped reading after "slipped the sausage"
 8 years ago '07        #3
dionedre3000 
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Whether we like him or this s**t doesn't have anything to do with football and shouldn't be out there put on blast as far as his personal life.
 8 years ago '06        #4
banga 8 heat pts
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she could have taken my V any day with those big a.ss casabas.
 8 years ago '07        #5
Mar3 
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 bangab**ch said:

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she could have taken my V any day with those big a.ss casabas.

Yes lawd :agreement6::applause:
 8 years ago '04        #6
DramaKing 1 heat pts
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dig this she is dope damnnn
 8 years ago '05        #7
CO Butta 4 heat pts
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That chick in the bikini has nothing to do with Tim Tebow.. she is a model over seas name Lucy Pinder... people always post her thinking she is...


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 10-27-2009, 08:07 PM         #8
DHARMA  OP
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 CO Butta said:
That chick in the bikini has nothing to do with Tim Tebow.. she is a model over seas name Lucy Pinder... people always post her thinking she is...


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Oh well, still nice drop...
 8 years ago '05        #9
bayryda 
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 CO Butta said:
That chick in the bikini has nothing to do with Tim Tebow.. she is a model over seas name Lucy Pinder... people always post her thinking she is...


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Hey can't go wrong there either her t*tties nice ripe melon size to lol
 8 years ago '08        #10
GhostNinja 47 heat pts47
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those are some ugly skanks in the first pic....


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damn that nose is buggin me


Last edited by GhostNinja; 10-27-2009 at 09:15 PM..
 10-27-2009, 09:20 PM         #11
iThink  OP
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 GhostNinja said:
those are some ugly skanks in the first pic....


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damn that nose is buggin me
Yeah, they're beat. I'd be s3xless after partying with them all afternoon too if I had any dignity.
 10-27-2009, 09:21 PM         #12
iThink  OP
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Doesn't do anything against the fact that this article is baseless, bulls**t speculation though.

There's not a non-virgin man in the world who understands how someone in his situation could go without getting any though so whatever, I guess.
 8 years ago '06        #13
RAZAH CUTS 5835 heat pts5835
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I've always thought dude was a total ham and yeah, I don't agree with how he's this huge crusader for whatever wacky religion he's apart of overseas.....

puttin on a front tho? Nah, that kid really believes all that regurgitated s**t those folks are feeding him....

My money is still on that he's a virgin, but if he's not I hope he don't feel guilty about that s**t....
 8 years ago '05        #14
Deeangoe 2 heat pts
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i bring up my post on a similair thread some months back..



unbelievable but true...one of my boys in uf was telling me how he knowss.lutty a.ss chicks who go out with him just to see if they can f*** him, and hes turned down all these chicks...theyll go on a date to like the movies and s*** and just talk and s*** about life and all the s*** hes done ie charities, missions w/e w/e...man i remember one time i hit up this lounge in gville called 101 i thinnk im not sure...ne ways tebow was there and they had a table with some of his boys and hot a.ss chicks...they were popping bottles and had grey goose magnum bottles and tebow was just drinking water bottles and s***...and i was like wow dude is uncorruptable, turns down easy p**** and free liquor, oh well im not gonna bash him for it, to each his own, im religious to a point but not that extreme

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seriously i dont see whats so hard to understand, dude is just truly uncorruptable
 8 years ago '04        #15
nitetrain8601 22 heat pts22
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The way Deeangoe put it, he sounds like this dude is Batman. He's uncorruptable.
 8 years ago '04        #16
CentsCuZ 19 heat pts19
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That chick in the brown bikini isn't even his chick... That's Lucy Pinder, a British model that everyone confuses with the big brea$ted chick that he's in a pic with (in the brown dress).
 8 years ago '06        #17
Bedlam 
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Dude is beyond a f**got for writing the article. But I saw some s**t at the end talking about "my cousin said she hooked up with him"

f**king everys.lut in Gainesville claims they hooked up with Tebow. But they're all lying wh0ores anyway, why would you believe them? And why do people take time to write articles about this s**t...
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