Dec 22 - Chuck Norris sues over 'mythical facts'

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 10 years ago '07        #141
Playa 70 heat pts70
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 pa_general said:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
I'm dyingggggggggggggg
 10 years ago '05        #142
reasonable 13 heat pts13
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 tntitan said:
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his a.ss kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.


...except in Return of the Dragon, when Bruce Lee whooped his a.ss.
 12-23-2007, 11:09 PM         #143
SignalSoldier 
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Chuck Norris sketched "The Man on the Moon"

There is no moon its just some rock that Chuck Norris threw up there

Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it too.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make him drink

Chuck Norris put Mr Sandman to sleep.

Sadaam Hussein really jumped.......he heard that Chuck Norris was in flight
 12-23-2007, 11:10 PM         #144
Gamberro 
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Who's he to complain about this attention? How else he gonna get pus*y without a bad-ass rep? I mean sh*t, that beard is a handicap.
 10 years ago '05        #145
reasonable 13 heat pts13
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 yujiro1982 said:
death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.


You could close the thread with this one. This sh*t got me over here crying.
 12-23-2007, 11:13 PM         #146
Gamberro 
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 10 years ago '07        #147
Playa 70 heat pts70
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Chuck Norris will kick your a.ss to show yo insides some style.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Texas.

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
 12-24-2007, 12:50 AM         #148
GOD999 
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LMFAO
 10 years ago '06        #149
yhportsatak 
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Chuck Norris had an erection while laying down and struck oil
 10 years ago '06        #150
yhportsatak 
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German f!ghter plane with his finger by yelling "Bang!"
 10 years ago '06        #151
Suttle 
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.....


Last edited by Suttle; 08-20-2014 at 04:55 PM..
 12-24-2007, 02:19 AM         #152
SignalSoldier 
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Chuck Norris made Santa Claus keep his promise of hoes

Chuck Norris touched MC Hammer
 10 years ago '05        #153
I_REP_VA 10 heat pts10
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 thacarter8604 said:
Chuck Norris Is The Reason That Waldo Is Hiding
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words a.ssemble themselves out of fear.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris
hahahhaha
 12-24-2007, 03:36 AM         #154
SignalSoldier 
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Chuck Norris possessed the Devil

Redd Foxx had the big one when he met Chuck Norris

King Kong aint got sh*t on Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris really k!lled Nichole Brown-Simpson.....he then allowed OJ to take the credit.
 10 years ago '07        #155
Cartel-Clipz 28 heat pts28
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 Gamberro said:
It is impossible for Chuck Norris to get his a.ss kicked. Not even Chuck Norris can kick Chuck Norris' a.ss.
 10 years ago '04        #156
Ironik 8 heat pts
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chuck norris doesnt merge
 12-24-2007, 11:33 AM         #157
macadon83 
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from "The Ring". 7 Days later, the little girl vowed to never leave the well again.
 12-24-2007, 12:16 PM         #158
StreetPoet617 
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 Suttle said:
Roy Jones Jr. once made a song titled "Can't Be Touched". Chuck Norris begs to differ.

Police officers get pulled over by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once made Damon Wayans feel "Major Payne".

All of the other reindeer did not let Rudolph play in any reindeer games. The other reindeer had a change of heart when Rudolph returned with Chuck Norris.

It is indeed Chuck Norris, not DJ Khaled, that is the best.

Thanksgiving is a holiday to give thanks...to Chuck Norris that he has let you survive as long as you have.

Chuck Norris has a glass jar of smallpox and polio on his nightstand next to his bed.

Chuck Norris was enfuriated when asked to play himself in a movie. No one can act like Chuck Norris, not even himself.

Chuck Norris has unlimited texting and calling....on his tracfone.

Every person with a myspace account automatically has Tom as a friend. When Tom created his account, Chuck Norris was automatically his friend. Chuck Norris then proceeded to k!ll Tom by typing the word death in a message that Tom opened. Chuck Norris has no friends.

The news network "CNN" actually stands for "Chuck Norris Network".




"
 10 years ago '04        #159
GetOnMahLevel 
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Superman wears chuck norris underwear...
 12-24-2007, 12:27 PM         #160
CenterField 
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 Nyuzi said:

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
thats hard
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