| 9 years ago||
|Top 20 Fun Facts About Chuck
- Chuck Norris did not shoot the deputy or the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the crap out of both of them.
- Black belts are only black because that is the color of Chuck Norris' stool.
- Hiroshima was actually Chuck Norris pissing from a plane
- Matter cannot be destroyed, but it can be broken down.... Unless of course, you are Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris learned his karate from the Korean Air-force. The Korean Air-force learned their lesson from Chuck Norris.
- Viagra is in fact Chuck Norris' solidified semen.
- Even at its most flaccid state, Chuck Norris's p*nis is still hard enough to knock your teeth out.
- When Chuck Norris was a child he built a small village in his sandbox. That village is now the United States of America, God shed his grace on thee.
- Chuck Norris wears only rabid wolverines for underwear.
- Bush denies global warming because Chuck Norris does.
- Chuck Norris' beard trimmings are a source of 7 essential nutrients.
- Chuck Norris in fact won the Madden 2005 National Competition by default after all his competitors mysteriously withdrew from the competition with roundhouse to the face related injuries.
- Chuck Norris ate an entire box of Alpha-Bits and shat out the entire works of Edgar Allen Poe.
- "Walker, Texas Ranger" does not have slow motion. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks are just so fast they slow down time.
- Walker Texas Ranger is actually the life of Chuck Norris from the ages of 1 through 3 and a half.
- Chuck Norris knows no limit simply because limit is too scared to introduce itself
- The nation mourned the death of the Trix Rabbit today. He was found orbiting the moon with his ears tied around his legs and a cowboy boot mark on his fluffy tail. Silly rabbit, no one touches Chuck Norris' Trix.
- Chuck Norris uses pepper spray as eye drops.
- While f!ghting the entire German army, Chuck Norris decided he was hungry, and got a bite to eat at the local sausage shop. Once realizing he had been poisoned, he quickly threw up his meal, then round-house kicked the chef. Strangely enough, this vomit, filled with the powerful stomach acid of Chuck Norris, melted through the ground into the center of the earth. The tremendous heat, mixed with the German sausage and the DNA of Chuck Norris, then formed an entity the world had never known. This being, then became a great action hero, even rivaling that of Norris. Realizing the threat, Chuck then imprisoned him to a life time of servitude, governing the state of California.
- Chuck Norris invented the life cycle so that he wouldn't have to repeatedly kick the a.sses of the same people for eternity.